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So I met a guy in Cancun on NYE this year. we hit it off that night and had sex (TMI, maybe?) We hung out one more time before I had to go home to Ottawa. He lives in New Jersey. He stayed in Cancun an extra week and we spoke daily. He went back home and then I went on a week long vacation with my family and messaged him every day and that's when he bought me a plane ticket to visit him. About 2 weeks later I went to NJ and we spent the weekend together. Spoke daily again, then it was his birthday so 3 weeks later he flew us both to Miami. I got him an expensive scarf and wrote a sweet card and left it in the room when I left. I was only there for the weekend because I have work and he stayed for a week with his family who flew in after I left.
Here's where it gets weird.. I realized on this trip that he doesn't tell me much about himself, he's always asking me questions and when I ask him questions he dodges the question or gives me a lax answer. When we're together he's so amazing and attentive. Always asking if I'm OK, if I want anything, always holding my hand or hips. But he's so bad at texting.
When I got back home to Ottawa I texted him a bit but not much because I wanted him to enjoy his time and I wanted to see if he'd message me. but no.. he did not.
We went about 4 days without texting, and I knew he was using his phone because he was starting to follow and like all these new girls on instagram that were also in Miami...
When he got back to NJ I texted him that we should end things because I want something serious and he doesn't and he said I deserve a good man and understands.. But also said he wants to settle down since he's 30 but he didn't fight for me.. He said it would be easier if I lived in NJ and I told him I couldn't move there when he doesn't talk to me, I barely know him. I also brought up the fact that I'm in grad school and will do an internship and was considering an internship in the states...
I don't know what to do, but I was really hoping he would tell me he's sorry he didn't message and that he wants to work things out.
I'm being unrealistic aren't i..?
Last edited by PJSaturn; 02-26-2018 at 10:12 AM..
Reason: Edited thread title at user's request.
You already got your answer, and yeah it sucks. If you text him it might as well be: "wtf, why can't you say the things I hoped you would, and mean it?"
When he got back to NJ I texted him that we should end things because I want something serious and he doesn't and he said I deserve a good man and understands.. But also said he wants to settle down since he's 30 but he didn't fight for me.. He said it would be easier if I lived in NJ and I told him I couldn't move there when he doesn't talk to me, I barely know him. I also brought up the fact that I'm in grad school and will do an internship and was considering an internship in the states...
I don't know what to do, but I was really hoping he would tell me he's sorry he didn't message and that he wants to work things out.
I only ended things today.. but I REALLY want to message him and be like WTF dude. what happened?? Would I look ridiculous?
I should also let you know that he broke up with his ex a year ago after dating for 2 years because she appeared to be more in love with him than he was with her...
He told you that you deserved a good man when you ended it. What good would texting him do? Do you REALLY want him to tell you it was fun while it lasted, but that he's just not that into you?
Sometimes, it's okay to read between the lines and save yourself the additional pain of it being spelled out.
You are the one who ended it! You wanted him to enjoy his time, but then you got upset that he didn’t text more. Then you were upset because he isn’t saying what you hoped as if he is supposed to read your mind and know you didn’t mean it.
You didn’t give it enough time to develop organically begire ending it because he went a few days without giving you “enough” attention. You essentially told him you wanted something serious. You’ve spent all of one month together, maybe, if you totaled the days. He wasn’t ready to commit to serious and he took what you said at face value. That doesn’t mean he wasn’t into it or didn’t like you. It means he wasn’t ready to commit to a LDR. If you wanted to give it some time you should not have pushed.
So you ended it and now you want to...un-end it? It sounds like he called your bluff. I advise you to focus on school and forget this guy. Canadian guys are nicer, anyway!
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