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BEFORE YOU LEAVE BY SEEING THAT BIG PARAGRAPH: I made 2 version of my story. A short one for those who don’t like reading lots of words, and a longer one for those who want a more detailed story about my situation here. So feel free to choose the one you want to read.
(Sorry in advance for bad grammar, punctuation, etc.)
Short Version:
There is a girl i’ve been trying to date for 3 years, but i feel like she is using me for her own interest. I am tired of chasing her, and I feel like i’m wasting my time with her. So i decided to cut my ‘‘relation’’ with her and forget her forever. Did i make the right decision/choice bycutting my relation with her?
Long version:
There is this girl i've been trying to date for now 3 years (I know this is really long, but I was very attracted to her), but it seems that she only sees me as a ‘‘friend’’. I met her in High School. The 1st year i started to talk to her i was not really into her, she was just a girl my friends dared me to talk(I’m an introvert and shy, that’s why they dared me) and i accepted the challenge. But the 2nd year I started to feel things for her and i tried to do some moves and tried to date her, but no success. Everytime i tried to ask her out (going to cinema,etc.), she would refuse by giving excuses and i would look like an idiot, yet she invited me to her birthday party, and i accepted to come. We were 7 to come to her party:Me,her sister,2 girl friends, and 2 guy friends plus herself. Stupid that I am, I bought her a Zara perfume priced at 60$ (It was not a big deal, i had a lot of money, but still i don’t know why i did this) as a present, and she thanked me by giving me a hug. So, i thought that i did a good move and that i'm winning points, but when her party ended, i saw her leaving the restaurant with one of the guy friend (Let’s call him -Y- because he is important in that story). The day after, she asked me how was the party, and how did I find -Y-, and i said he was an OK guy. Then, she asked me if we talked about her and i said yes. I told her that -Y- was telling how beautiful she was and blablabla. Anyway, she and -Y-started dating a month later. The week of my birthday i reminded her that it was my birthday soon, and i was expecting her to give me a present,but she didn’t (She didn’t even tell me Happy birthday). I thought that i was not that important to her. So I vanished and stopped texting her for a year because it was really hurting me seeing them together. I was just starting College (I was 17 y/o). After the year, she texted me in December( I turned 18) telling me that it was a long time since we talked. I ignored her text for another month. January 2018, i responded to her text, and she wanted to see me at her house. I accepted, without having bad thoughts. When i went to her house, she told me that -Y- cheated on her (she found out a month after they broke up) and he broke up with her (one week before I answered her text, Big coincidence lol). She was devastated and blablabla. Then, after explaining everything to me, we started to watch Netflix. She put her head on my lap and took my hand, and we cuddled for like 3 hours while watching Netflix. I did not try anything on her because she was just coming out from a relationship and told me that other guys tried to take advantage of her (i'm not that kind of guy anyway). I felt really good that day because it was the first time we were cuddling for so long, and i really liked that. And you know what? My feelings came back. I thought that God was giving me another chance. Plus, the way we were gazing at each other, i told to myself: She might be one. We kept texting at each other everyday until the beginning of March of this year(2018). So 3rd of March I asked her, if i could come to her house because i was bored and had nothing to do in my house. She gave me a stupid excuse. Then, the minute she gave me that excuse, i told to myself: F*ck this. I tried to be a friend but it was so hard because of my feelings for her. One day, she sent me a screenshot of a conversation of her and a dude that she rejected,and something caught my attention. She texted to him, ‘‘ You are only one of the many guy [...]’’, and then realized at the same moment that she does not care about me and i am just some guy that is texting her and buying her things(Since i started to talked to her again, i bought her lots of food and other things). I decided to break this weird relation that i have with her because I knew she was only using me for her own interest. She knew that i really care about her and that I would do anything to get her attention. I knew at that moment that I was only someone she would call when something bad happen to her, only to make her feel better and important, but like an idiot i played along with her game. She knew i had feelings for her, and yet she continued her nasty game. Now when she texts me i give her a cold 2-3 words answer and i leave it like this. On Snapchat we were at a streak of 50, and i just stop using Snapchat because i was the only to care about the streaks. I am trying to forget her because i am at a point where i don’t want to be her friend nor her boyfriend. I just want to forget her forever because i realized that i wasted 3 years of my life for a girl that does not give a damn about me (15 y/o -18 y/o). The saddest part of that is that, I’m not even sure she cares of what is going with me and her. I am a 18 years old guy that haven’t had sex yet and have not kissed girl (I’m not saying that i kissed i boy lol), and i feel like such a loser. My life is sad. I thought that i would at least kissed her but nope. Anyway, Did i make the right decision/choice bycutting my relation with her, even after 3 years?
Props for those who read the long version .
I hope you guys will give me an appropriate answer to my question.
Teen relationships rarely last, learn and move forward.
Just as a FWIW... I didn't chase my wife and she didn't really chase me (maybe Slightly) ~ when they're right, they just work. Doesn't mean they take no effort/work to maintain, but starting them is no effort at all.
You're a smart guy who fell for a girl. You're smart because you figured out that she doesn't see you in a romantic way, and has taken you for granted. AND you figured all that out at the age of 18.
For the record, I spent a goodly amount of years (when I was in my 30's) caring about a guy who did not (and on some level, I knew it) care about me the same way. I do believe, looking back, it was longer than 3 years. Sometimes, I shake my head that I wasted so much time on that person...but on the other hand, sometimes we have to go through stuff to be ready for the right person...and I'm married to a great guy now.
You learned a great lesson, so it's never wasting time if the lesson is learned. I promise you, WHEN the right girl loves you back the way you love her, it's so worth the wait. So...put your head up, shoulder's back, and march forward. ;-)
As to your situation, I would stop chasing after her and focus your energy on others. Nobody should allow themselves to be used and, besides, three years is too much time to have invested. Live and learn, right? Everything takes time to fully appreciate, but you will remember valuable lessons from this experience that will serve you well into the future ... after all, you are only 18 years old.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 03-12-2018 at 10:15 AM..
Reason: NEVER edit quoted material.
Every post here is point-counterpoint, if you look objectively at it. The subjectivity is unreal. Yes, all entitled to opinions (not just food stamps n free healthcare) but really folks, how can we advise re current status when it changes faster than anyone can type it? Just sayin here but think it out..
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