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As a dude on a dating app, it's a struggle for my profile to even get seen in the first place!
Think about the numbers involved.
In my city, the ratio of men to women is 13:10. So if the ratio of men to women on dating apps would be about the same if it were true that men and women used dating apps at the same rate.
But studies show that the ratio of men to women on dating apps is at least 2:1, which means it's probably closer to 26:10 in my city!
Now let's play with that ratio. Suppose that in a 20-mile radius the there are 2,600 men on dating apps. That means there are 1,000 women on them.
Most dating apps sort the profiles that show up from most attractive to least attractive. Bumble is the most obvious about this: you see the hottest profiles first and then they become less attractive as you swipe.
If I'm an an average guy, my profile would rank in the middle of the 2,600 male profiles, which means that a woman would have to swipe through 1,300 profiles to even see mine! It'll never get seen because women aren't swiping through >1,000 profiles; they don't need to because they have so many options that they only need to swipe through a couple hundred at most.
Is there a workaround or a way to game the system? Sometimes: delete your profile and later remake it so that your "attractiveness quotient" gets "reset" and you have a brief period of time where it's possible to get matches, after which your profile gets buried and you may as well delete the app at that point. Many guys have figured this out and do it on a regular basis.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,937 posts, read 36,940,305 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by programmadora
Most dating apps sort the profiles that show up from most attractive to least attractive. Bumble is the most obvious about this: you see the hottest profiles first and then they become less attractive as you swipe.
.
Those eight hot women in a row streaks you get on bumble are fakes. Ignore them. It's pretty clear they're fakes as the profiles are generic, or non existent, and if you pay enough attention you'll get the same pic with a different name from time to time. I've even had the same pics show up within a few swipes (different names and jobs)
The other stuff, don't worry about it. Dating isn't a numbers game. You're trying to target your person, and they should be targeting you. It works itself out end.
I guess you'll have to meet women the old-fashioned way: being friendly while out and about, finding appealing activities around town to join, networking through friends. Is that such a bad prospect, OP? You might be surprised how many millennial (and other) women don't use apps, and look to meet guys out there In Real Life.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,937 posts, read 36,940,305 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
I guess you'll have to meet women the old-fashioned way: being friendly while out and about, finding appealing activities around town to join, networking through friends. Is that such a bad prospect, OP? You might be surprised how many millennial (and other) women don't use apps, and look to meet guys out there In Real Life.
Doing this is fine, but it's such an incredible long shot. It's the difference between meeting 1-3 perspective dates a year and 30-50, and even more importantly than that, it takes away the advantage of being able to screen people for huge mismatches / deal breakers before asking them out.
As a dude on a dating app, it's a struggle for my profile to even get seen in the first place!
Think about the numbers involved.
In my city, the ratio of men to women is 13:10. So if the ratio of men to women on dating apps would be about the same if it were true that men and women used dating apps at the same rate.
But studies show that the ratio of men to women on dating apps is at least 2:1, which means it's probably closer to 26:10 in my city!
Now let's play with that ratio. Suppose that in a 20-mile radius the there are 2,600 men on dating apps. That means there are 1,000 women on them.
Most dating apps sort the profiles that show up from most attractive to least attractive. Bumble is the most obvious about this: you see the hottest profiles first and then they become less attractive as you swipe.
If I'm an an average guy, my profile would rank in the middle of the 2,600 male profiles, which means that a woman would have to swipe through 1,300 profiles to even see mine! It'll never get seen because women aren't swiping through >1,000 profiles; they don't need to because they have so many options that they only need to swipe through a couple hundred at most.
Is there a workaround or a way to game the system? Sometimes: delete your profile and later remake it so that your "attractiveness quotient" gets "reset" and you have a brief period of time where it's possible to get matches, after which your profile gets buried and you may as well delete the app at that point. Many guys have figured this out and do it on a regular basis.
Is that so??? So someone looks at all the profiles and sorts them?? I didn't know.
POF is different, they throw a bunch of non desireable people right in your face on the first page.
Put some pics up where you wear a shirt, are not in the bathroom, don't hug a pretty woman, do not have a child/baby in the pic, aren't sitting in the hot tub with women OR men, aren't holding a gun, don't wear a ridiculous costume, and VOILA, you are better than average.
Is there a workaround or a way to game the system?
yes, watch the youtube videos of guys walking around the street and when they meet someone, tell them you two matched on tinder and should go get a drink together
Doing this is fine, but it's such an incredible long shot. It's the difference between meeting 1-3 perspective dates a year and 30-50, and even more importantly than that, it takes away the advantage of being able to screen people for huge mismatches / deal breakers before asking them out.
The idea is that if you meet people in person before you go on a date, there are going to be fewer failed first dates. I'd rather go on 3 first dates per year & have one turn into a 1+ year relationship than 40 mostly one & dones (one date, no sex, no future interaction). Running up 40 one & dones isn't all that difficult in site/app dating.
There is no substitute meeting people in person & determining if they warrant a date vs. interacting through digital screens & wasting a ton of time.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,937 posts, read 36,940,305 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by RJ312
The idea is that if you meet people in person before you go on a date, there are going to be fewer failed first dates. I'd rather go on 3 first dates per year & have one turn into a 1+ year relationship than 40 mostly one & dones (one date, no sex, no future interaction). Running up 40 one & dones isn't all that difficult in site/app dating.
There is no substitute meeting people in person & determining if they warrant a date vs. interacting through digital screens & wasting a ton of time.
That highly depends on the person. Sure, I can ascertain chemistry in person meeting people, and that was fine when I was a kid. All I wanted to know if she was cute and if we had chemistry, everything else was whatever to me.
That is not at all the case now. I much rather find out non-negotiables up front (and apps are great for this) and then determine chemistry. I find it far more effective.
And of course, warranting a date and being both available for one, and interested in one with me, are FAAAAR cries from one another.
I've noticed that on Tinder at least, the women you see are far hotter than what you see on the street.
I live in the middle of nowhere in Tennessee. There aren't that many tens here, but Tinder has so many ads with basically supermodels you'd think it was common.
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