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Parasite might've been a strong term to use, but I get where Diss was coming from.
And yes, we gift each other cause we have busy schedules and make it count whenever we spend time with each other.
Do you get where I am coming from to look at someone who's first descriptor about a woman is 'parasite', (and especially on a thread where the woman claims to have paid without being asked to, and is not complaining that she paid) as someone with a low opinion of women?
I know a woman who went on a dinner date, and the guy left her holding the check. Lets take pimps - aren't they usually men, and aren't they parasites, leaching off of usually women? Wouldn't that indicate that 'parasites' can be found in both sexes?
We all have a point, don't we. Is that the best way to approach each other?
I'm happy you can happily gift your girl friend, and not expect a gift from her in return, if that is the case. I'm sure your girl friend is even happier than I am.
Do you get where I am coming from to look at someone who's first descriptor about a woman is 'parasite', (and especially on a thread where the woman claims to have paid without being asked to, and is not complaining that she paid) as someone with a low opinion of women?
I know a woman who went on a dinner date, and the guy left her holding the check. Lets take pimps - aren't they usually men, and aren't they parasites, leaching off of usually women? Wouldn't that indicate that 'parasites' can be found in both sexes?
We all have a point, don't we. Is that the best way to approach each other?
I'm happy you can happily gift your girl friend, and not expect a gift from her in return, if that is the case. I'm sure your girl friend is even happier than I am.
I get what you mean... Instead of using parasite we can come up with different terms. Oh, and men can use women as well. I wanted to show it is isn't just mean wimmez taking advantage of men.
NOOOO! Wrong attitude to take. If a guy gets annoyed that you paid for the date, he was never the right guy to begin with. Men like that are just plain trouble in the long term; they are rigid, have low self-confidence, and tend to be misogynistic. Think of it as an efficient sifting method.
My (now) wife paid for our first date. Did I have a problem with that? Of course not. I was charmed by her.
Not necessarily. He paid for the first two dates. He might see her putting up a wall of protection, since the 3rd date is where things usually start to move toward getting a kiss and maybe other physical contact. Suddenly, out of the blue she pays. He doesn't mind it, but subconsciously a red flag goes up and he is confused.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ComeCloser
Do you get where I am coming from to look at someone who's first descriptor about a woman is 'parasite', (and especially on a thread where the woman claims to have paid without being asked to, and is not complaining that she paid) as someone with a low opinion of women?
I know a woman who went on a dinner date, and the guy left her holding the check. Lets take pimps - aren't they usually men, and aren't they parasites, leaching off of usually women? Wouldn't that indicate that 'parasites' can be found in both sexes?
We all have a point, don't we. Is that the best way to approach each other?
I'm happy you can happily gift your girl friend, and not expect a gift from her in return, if that is the case. I'm sure your girl friend is even happier than I am.
Someone who just takes from another person with no intention to contribute is a parasite. Totally gender neutral.
If a man isn't making a move it's either one of two options:
1. He's not interested.
2. He is interested but won't make a move cause he's scared if he does make a move and it isn't welcome he could get into some serious trouble.
It's fine to make a move but make sure it is 100% welcome first.
This is nonsense. It's an excuse used by shy guys. No one gets in trouble for saying "hello", and and chatting. Do you even understand what the #me too thing is about? It's about men who forced themselves physically on women, men in power positions who demanded sex from women, men who exposed themselves to their teenage daughter's friend (Dustin Hoffman), or to employees, etcetera. If you can't differentiate between those cases and chatting with someone in the grocery store or wherever, you may well have a deficient IQ or other cognitive problems. Or are you saying that exposing yourself to women is part of your "approach"?
Don’t patronize me. I don’t appreciate you trying to brand me as a woman hater AT ALL.
Don't put words in my mouth. I can only react to what you say. If its not what you mean then you shouldn't say it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter
In 2018, a female SHOULD be expected to show she can provide by picking up the check at least once in a while. It is called being a grown adult and not a parasite.
Acknowledging that you finally said something I could appreciate and thanking you for it is hardly patronizing you. However, if you don't agree - fine. I can agree to disagree with you too.
I don't know you, we aren't dating, and I'm pretty sure we never will be dating, so the face you want to show me doesn't mean that much to me, one way or the other. You have a nice evening now.
Hi! Every time I've paid for dates things have gone wrong as well. The last guy I was with before my boyfriend disappeared out of the blue without even saying goodbye. I tried to do something really nice since he paid for so many dates and took him to a really nice restaurant. I don't think he appreciated it. The guy I was with before this other guy... a similar thing happened... he just lost interest. The guy I was with before that guy who was insanely broke.. same thing happened, he just lost interest. I'm not sure why! I just feel so bad having guys pay all the time. I want to do something nice too and not feel guilty.
I let my boyfriend pay for mostly everything (he also does not let me pay). If I do pay for something it's usually coffee. I get him a lot of coffee. I also get us mealkits from Hellofresh or Martha and Marley Spoon and cook for him at his house because that way he's not always paying for food and activities. If I do plan an event, it's usually a cooking class that I will pay for online. That way, I pay for stuff and he doesn't have the opportunity to take the privilege of paying away from me. When I have paid for things I've noticed he really doesn't like it. One day we were at a starbucks drive through and I didn't take his card and give it to the lady and he didn't like it. This method seems to be working fine! We have been together 9 months and we are very happy. I like to get him little gifts here and there like flowers and his favorite chocolates. I don't feel comfortable with him paying for things so much, it makes me feel very very guilty to the point where I can't even eat my food sometimes when we were are in a restaurant. I'm trying to adjust and make this system work for me.
Don't worry, you were probably too good for that guy anyways! You will find someone who adores you!
Most guys I know appreciate a home cooked meal. It doesn't have to be something overtly difficult to make. It might be a way to accomplish what you are trying to accomplish without making 'ability to pay' somehow turn the guy off.
It can also be fun, if he thinks he might like to help out in the kitchen. Just a thought.
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