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Old 05-04-2018, 12:16 AM
 
Location: Oakland, CA
28,226 posts, read 36,893,310 times
Reputation: 28563

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Saw this article in one of my newsletters and I was amused. My first thought was boy does this sound super awkward.

https://thebolditalic.com/i-tried-ta...k-f0a4dc778962

These exercise: massages, couples stretching, whispering in someone’s ear, laying on their chest - all sounds way to intimate for a speed date. What is your take?
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Old 05-04-2018, 02:30 AM
 
Location: North Carolina
1,304 posts, read 1,138,678 times
Reputation: 1797
that doesn't sound like dating to me lol. That honestly sounds like hooking up. like what if you werent attracted to that person?
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Old 05-04-2018, 03:20 AM
 
Location: Copenhagen, Denmark
10,930 posts, read 11,730,962 times
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I think approach is more meaningful for older men and women who have experienced emotional and physical intimacy in a previous relationship, lost it for some reason, and want to reconnect with what they have lost. I'm less sure about the speed dating framework. Out of curiosity, I read more stories about this on the Web, and many of the reactions were ambivalent.

What this says to me is that if two people are able to achieve a deep level of emotional and physical intimacy with each other, something that permeates many aspects of their lives, not just in sex, they should do everything in their power to keep it and grow it and not throw it away.

A continuing and mutual sense of gratitude could be a key. Based on experience, I believe that gratitude and resentment can not co-exist.
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Old 05-04-2018, 09:47 AM
 
Location: North Idaho
32,663 posts, read 48,079,532 times
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It sounds to me like having a line of strange men groping me. No thanks.

I want to take my time deciding whether or not I want to be touched. On the other hand, I have no interest in regular speed dating which I think is a rediculous way to meet dates.
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Old 05-04-2018, 09:53 AM
 
1,080 posts, read 838,848 times
Reputation: 1401
Well I, for one, am completely shocked that something called "Tantra Speed Dating" "got weird real quick." Shocked, I tell you! This headline blew my mind to such an extreme that I nearly read all of the subheadline. Nearly, but not quite.
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Old 05-04-2018, 10:16 AM
 
Location: Phoenix, AZ
20,398 posts, read 14,678,474 times
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Hm. This sounds, to me (weird Spork in the room, Hi!) in theory like a lovely and fun thing to try.

At first.

However... Everyone has boundaries around various levels of intimacy that they want the right to control, to be asked consent before another person charges into those invisible "spaces" in whatever way. When another person nudges in on a boundary that you have not authorized them to cross, it's intensely uncomfortable. And with some people who want "in" more than you really want them "in" it feels very threatening. I'm not just talking about sex at all, but even those people who get way too close to you physically when you're talking, who invade your "bubble"...or someone wanting to know where you live, and you don't feel comfortable with them knowing that.

So yeah, I would not want to be expected to do these things with someone I hadn't gotten a chance to get to know a bit and develop some trust and comfort with. I would not like doing this activity with...whoever, like that. I think the point was to force people (as an exercise) to try and get past this discomfort, but I prefer to have my consent rights respected more than this.
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Old 05-04-2018, 10:46 AM
 
Location: Oakland, CA
28,226 posts, read 36,893,310 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork View Post
Hm. This sounds, to me (weird Spork in the room, Hi!) in theory like a lovely and fun thing to try.

At first.

However... Everyone has boundaries around various levels of intimacy that they want the right to control, to be asked consent before another person charges into those invisible "spaces" in whatever way. When another person nudges in on a boundary that you have not authorized them to cross, it's intensely uncomfortable. And with some people who want "in" more than you really want them "in" it feels very threatening. I'm not just talking about sex at all, but even those people who get way too close to you physically when you're talking, who invade your "bubble"...or someone wanting to know where you live, and you don't feel comfortable with them knowing that.

So yeah, I would not want to be expected to do these things with someone I hadn't gotten a chance to get to know a bit and develop some trust and comfort with. I would not like doing this activity with...whoever, like that. I think the point was to force people (as an exercise) to try and get past this discomfort, but I prefer to have my consent rights respected more than this.
I went to this thing called circling once. (It was to meet an old classmate, it sounded weird. I was curious).

Anyway basically every sat in a circle staring at people for the whole evening. And sometimes people switched staring partners. And then you'd make comments about how you felt and what their energy was. It seems like circling would be a good lead in to this tantric speed dating. Because you sort of "go to know" the people via circling before all the rest. I am sure tantric speed dating is popular in the circling circles.
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Old 05-04-2018, 01:10 PM
 
622 posts, read 396,373 times
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I'm a hugger and wouldn't mind giving a stranger a quick hug but to lie down with your head on a stranger's lap? No, just no.
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Old 05-04-2018, 03:12 PM
 
30,902 posts, read 33,017,046 times
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OMG. No, LOL.

I'm not much of a hugger, though, except with people I am VERY close to. My kids and husband, fine. Anybody else, let me...wave to you instead.

I promise the wave will look really, really affectionate from over here, though. Really.

It's so odd, and kind of sad (or maybe they don't think of it this way and this is just my own "thing") that people would be desperate enough for human contact that they'd have to pay to go hug and roll all over potential dates. I don't know...but if it makes them happy, then, do it. We all need affection, I guess.

OTOH...do you get to touch beards?

Because if you get to touch beards then I'm in.

'Cause beards are cool.

But otherwise, no.
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Old 05-04-2018, 03:13 PM
 
30,902 posts, read 33,017,046 times
Reputation: 26919
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Ree View Post
I'm a hugger and wouldn't mind giving a stranger a quick hug but to lie down with your head on a stranger's lap? No, just no.
I know. LOL.

Oh, God.

Interesting stuff, anyway.
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