Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
last night I was getting gas at 8:37PM and I heard my name being called, I turn around and it was an ex from a few years ago who I dated for 3 months one week and five days. she struck up a conversation and was very flirty, I was civil but I was not flirting back(though every synapse in my skull was screaming to respond in kind) Anyway her expression looked hurt when I did not reciprocate . this is not the first time this has happened in fact it's kind of a curse. With her like many of the women I've dated longer than a few weeks/months she tried to get back with me months after SHE BROKE UP WITH ME!!!(in her case a little over 2 months after she dumped me she blew up my phone for a few days). and like with her most of my relationships start off rrreeeeaaaaallllyyyy great, I'm happy, she's happy etc etc we are both riding a wave a passion and like most women I've dated once the new wears off they start pulling back or become neglectful of the relationship(THAT THEY HELPED SET THE TONE FOR), I mention their change in pattern, they claim they don't think they are acting any different I pull up from memory the change in pattern, they accuse me of imagining it or exaggerating I extrapolate the data using phone data back and forth messaging call times(to myself to make sure I'm not imagining things, even though I already knew the data because it's in my head running a tally 24/7 and any change in pattern sends a signal to my medulla), they end up breaking up with me I sink into full depression, a few months later they end up calling me usually wanting to try again, claiming they missed being with me.
When I was younger I would usually jump right back in, but I've since learned that once the new wears off again they will just hurt me again and the second time the cycle happens even faster, thats how some poor souls get stuck for years in an "on again off again" loop. NNNOOOOO THANKS!!
once someone proves that they place relationships in such low regard I don't go back.
But I wanna know what goes through the minds of some people when they neglect, deny the neglect, then figuratively rip the heart out of someone and think they can come back? she said she was hoping for a different response and had thought enough time had passed etc etc etc..... How am I the bad guy in this?, I did not pull the bait and switch I showed who I am from day one. I'm honest enough that you know what your getting day in day out.
Jumping right back in without a serious discussion is a foolish thing to do. Lack of self respect. How do you know she won’t see something she likes better and kick you to the curb again?
Because lots of people take everything for granted? Too many times people don’t realize what they have because they are out there always looking for something better and most fall into the trap that the grass is always greener on the other side.
And there are people who know what they have is great and amazing, but they fail to imagine that if they don't cherish it, it will be gone...
if one of the partners is too selfish or self-centered....they have to be called on it...communication is key...
appeasement is a disease of a relationship (avoiding potential conflict, acceptance of something that bothers you) yet never discussed.. this causes distance and contempt
while on one hand we tend to remember the good times...that's why it hurts...a mature adjusted person knows you cant jump in a relationship until you know where you are landing (too quickly living together)
to the op..... at least shes being decent to you and not throwing something at you.... a woman can be nice but have no intention jumping back in the fire....
the challenge and gift we all have is when we meet someone new....not to cloud the present beginning with storms of the past...
hold out for someone that's very compatible ...that you have great chemistry with …..
I hear you brother. I’m dealing with this right now with an ex who has come back. I suggest you talk to them and ask them why. Ask them questions. If they don’t get a satisfactory answer, then tell them to move on. You might be surprised in a good way.
For myself, maybe others are different, when I look back on any of the relationships I have, I am almost always focusing on good times, pleasant memories. It’s easy for me to see where they might come to dominate memories for some folks.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,937 posts, read 36,943,649 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by LesLucid
For myself, maybe others are different, when I look back on any of the relationships I have, I am almost always focusing on good times, pleasant memories. It’s easy for me to see where they might come to dominate memories for some folks.
Oh, excellent point. This is a widespread human condition with many things, not just relationships. There is a term for it in addiction counseling called "euphoric recall". An addict will remember all the fun/good feelings they have using, but fail to remember/block all the horrible times, the damaging times. Same with gamblers, they will remember all their big wins but minimize how much they spent to get those wins. Relationships can very much be the same thing.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
. I'm honest enough that you know what your getting day in day out. 
