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Well, and so what if she is? Is she the last woman on Earth, so the OP now has no hope of reproducing? Why would 1 person on OLD passing him by because of his profession mean that he should ignore all similar inquiries in the future? Why would anyone generalize the behavior or preference of one person to an entire gender? That's nutty!
If he refuses to respond to the career question on all future occasions, he'll slash his chances of meeting women who are into teachers, into compassionate guys, into guys who get along well with kids. In short--he'll be shooting himself in both feet.
So bizarre.
I agree. If I meet one single dude who doesn't like women with blonde hair I'm not going to rush out to buy black dye because hot damn, I'm never gonna let THAT happen again! It is one guy. This girl is one girl.
IF this woman passed the OP up based on his job (who knows?) then that's no reason to change his entire style of interacting. Plus, if he's speaking to a woman to whom career is important, refusing to answer the question isn't going to get him anywhere and radio silence will just seem weird anyway (you notice how the OP himself is reacting to exactly that) so what's that going to accomplish?
I don’t think it’s just money but she’s likely making a judgment call based upon your career choice. For example an certified electrician, plumber, or even a bartender likely or could have a higher income than a traditional white collar worker. People may just associate a certain behavior lifestyle or even a schedule with a career choice.
If she didn’t respond you may find that rude but at least she’s not wasting your time.
Or maybe there is just some of us who don’t give a flying about work since it is just a paycheck from a company that doesn’t give two s about you once you aren’t able to produce for them and can fire you for any reason they want. I’ve seen enough people get walked out the door to realize work ultimately doesn’t mean at the end of the day and not to make it bigger than it is, a paycheck nothing more.
Okay, here is a really great case in point. Dissenter, if I may.
The reaction here would tell me what I needed to know. It wouldn't even be the job itself. It would tell me something about how the guy perceived himself - i.e. helpless, at someone's mercy - about his motivations to make things better v. whether he was willing to always be unhappy, etc. It would say so much. One simple answer to one simple question can give a lot of information that may have nothing at all to do with money.
Just as one simple answer to really any question can give a lot of information. Including questions the OP must be asking this woman in return, about anything about her life.
When you first meet someone that's what your initial interactions are. Getting information. From how you feel about one another, to your style, to whether you're funny, smart, angry, etc., etc., etc...that's what it's all about and this is just one thing among many that people bring up.
If it IS about money, ENTIRELY about money, then that's going to quickly become apparent anyway. The girl will act spoiled and will be mentioning material stuff a lot. She won't just be asking one simple question, "So, what do you do?"
And if it's partially about money, i.e. "Does this guy have the urge to support himself OR is he happy to live in squalor/live with his parents forever?" then that's kind of normal, IMO. It's a normal thing to rule out. Not all women will be turned off by it but I don't see it as excessively money-grubbing to wish for an SO who has at least this much motivation in that regard. It's certainly no reason to jump to "gold digger." She may not want YOUR money at all, she may just want to know you're not a loafer who will never feel like getting up off the couch.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa
Um... wouldn't it be the people who treat their jobs as pointless and "just a paycheck" be the MOST likely to be walked out the door? And that people who treat their work as important and of value be MOST likely to stay and progress? Have I got that wrong?
Based on prior jobs, it was the ones who gave the most time to the company that got walked out the door. Especially my one experience in Louisville, the managers who did the most OT and the longest tenure and the most liked got walked out in layoffs. That’s why I’m not going to be the most eager to invest myself in any workplace because they could walk you out tomorrow and not give a .
I agree. If I meet one single dude who doesn't like women with blonde hair I'm not going to rush out to buy black dye because hot damn, I'm never gonna let THAT happen again! It is one guy. This girl is one girl.
IF this woman passed the OP up based on his job (who knows?) then that's no reason to change his entire style of interacting. Plus, if he's speaking to a woman to whom career is important, refusing to answer the question isn't going to get him anywhere and radio silence will just seem weird anyway (you notice how the OP himself is reacting to exactly that) so what's that going to accomplish?
The forum is really having a day, today. I'm ROFL, just trying to catch up with the new posts. On one thread, we have a guy who desperately wants to find women who don't want kids, so his solution to his dilemma of how to go about that, is to not tell anyone that he has a vasectomy, and let the chips fall where they may.
Now we have a guy who has taken offense that one woman asked him about his profession, then ghosted on him (before they ever met). So having been thus whipped up into a grand state of paranoia about the entire female gender, he's decided to conceal his (very family-friendly) profession from all prospective dates and inquirers for the rest of his life.
Yeah, that'll work.
Gawd, guys; whatever you do, DON'T tell women anything about yourselves! They might hold it against you, and then where would you be? Just tell anyone who takes an interest in you, that you work for the CIA and aren't allowed to disclose anything about your reproductive potential or your line of work. They'll have to waterboard you, to get such highly classified information out of you. Nothing like a good, impenetrable barrier to enhance datability, yes sir! Nobody's going to pull anything over on you guys! You've really outsmarted the women, now. Way to go!
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 05-16-2018 at 03:08 PM..
Why would you ignore the question? So you can get to a first date, then have her find out what you do and decide that isn't right for her?
I've had guys evade the question and I just don't get it. I think you can tell a LOT about a person by what they do. Not who they are, or as a measure of their character, but at least some basics. Do they work with their hands? Enjoy helping others? Drive a hybrid? Right brain or left brain?
Finding out how much a guy makes is of very little interest to me at all. If you love your work, and you are responsible with what you make, I'm much more impressed than with a guy who thinks people will be impressed because he makes a lot of money. If a guy tells me what kind of car he drives, then waits for me to say something admiring, I'm out of there (JK, really, I can avoid having to meet those types in the first place because they are pretty obvious and have little of interest to offer me)
I would be thrilled to go out with a guy who worked for the state in the Early Childhood Education field. To me that says steady work, reasonable wage, pension, and someone who cares about children and the future of our country. (Most of my family members are public servants and/or are in human services of some kind).
There could be a bajillion reasons why you never heard back from that woman. Many of them could have nothing to do with you. You be you, and don't over think it.
I was chatting with this women on Okcupid and she asked what type of work i do and once I told her she never replied back.
So is that what that question means? Because if so I can ignore it in the future
when I was on ok cupid I would stop replying to people because I would get over 100 messages a day and would forget about you. I think she was just trying to make conversation.
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about work since it is just a paycheck from a company that doesn’t give two 
