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Tell him you are ending the relationship. Go no contact for three months and see what happens. Try to date other guys during that time. If neither of you miss each other, that's your answer.
My boyfriend and I are in a new LDR. He is abroad for a month and then after that he will be living 6 hours away from me. I found out that before he left to go abroad he cheated on me. He begged for my forgiveness and told me it was the biggest mistake of his life etc. I love him and I see a future with him and decided to give him a second chance. Now, he’s telling me he thinks he cheated because he’s scared of the LDR and has doubts. He’s afraid of being unhappy and just putting up with it because we love each other. He is feeling hopeless even though I’m planning on moving closer to him within the year. All of a sudden he doesn’t believe in us. He’s pulling away from me and idk if I should give him space. He hasn’t broken up with me yet and still tells me he loves me everyday but that’s about all he’s saying. I love him and want to make this work but I realized I’ve been trying to convince him that we’re worth it and I might be drowning him and pushing him further away. Should I give him space or will that only make things worse in this situation?
I did a similar thing to a guy in college, we had been dating almost 3yrs and than i had the opportunity to study abroad for 6 months and jumped at the chance, i broke up with him because i wanted my freedom but another part of me still loved him and we got back together right before i left. It was after i put distance between us that i realized we were pretty toxic and it was best for both of us to break up, i used the time apart to finally end things for good even though i was pretty torn up. Yes i still loved him, but i knew it wouldnt work. It was somewhat easier for me at that time since the interwebs was still relatively young and i had to use phone cards to call internationally. My advice would be to not listen to him when he's being overly emotional, but hear what he is consistently saying and what his actions say.
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