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Ok, I'm here for advice on what I should do, or if I should do anything. This guy (30) superliked me (30) on Tinder and started the conversation, he seemed really interesting and we had a lot of things in common, he asked for my number a day later and we talked for about two days before he asked me out. We met two days ago 'for a beer'. We had an instant connection I felt, and if he didn't like me I'm sure after the beer he would have excused himself and left, but instead he asked me if I want another beer, after that second beer he asked me if I wanna go for dinner somewhere and we literally stayed in that restaurant til it closed. So we spent like 5h together, in total. He walked me home and kissed me and we talked a bit more. He didn't try to come up or anything.
The next day (yesterday) he messaged me, asking something about a joke we were making that night we met. I answered, then he answered, then I answered and after that he didn't say anything anymore (ok, it wasn't a question but still). After not answering for about 4h I sent him the link to the thing he asked about (and added a funny comment), and he answered immediately, just sending an emoji. Nothing else. I didn't answer, I mean what am I gonna say to that.
Now it's the next day and we're not talking. I really don't get it. I mean I've been on dates where I could absolutely tell that we have no chemistry, but this wasn't one of them. Especially considering the fact that we spent 5h together, laughed so much and that he even mentioned at some point during the date that we should try that new restaurant in town together. I really thought he'd message me more than those few words the next day, and not just ignore my last message and then sent a stupid emoji and that's it.
So how should I proceed from here? Am I being crazy and I should just give him more time and see if he messages me again? Or should I say something today, maybe ask him about his weekend plans or something?
Ok, I'm here for advice on what I should do, or if I should do anything. This guy (30) superliked me (30) on Tinder and started the conversation, he seemed really interesting and we had a lot of things in common, he asked for my number a day later and we talked for about two days before he asked me out. We met two days ago 'for a beer'. We had an instant connection I felt, and if he didn't like me I'm sure after the beer he would have excused himself and left, but instead he asked me if I want another beer, after that second beer he asked me if I wanna go for dinner somewhere and we literally stayed in that restaurant til it closed. So we spent like 5h together, in total. He walked me home and kissed me and we talked a bit more. He didn't try to come up or anything.
The next day (yesterday) he messaged me, asking something about a joke we were making that night we met. I answered, then he answered, then I answered and after that he didn't say anything anymore (ok, it wasn't a question but still). After not answering for about 4h I sent him the link to the thing he asked about (and added a funny comment), and he answered immediately, just sending an emoji. Nothing else. I didn't answer, I mean what am I gonna say to that.
Now it's the next day and we're not talking. I really don't get it. I mean I've been on dates where I could absolutely tell that we have no chemistry, but this wasn't one of them. Especially considering the fact that we spent 5h together, laughed so much and that he even mentioned at some point during the date that we should try that new restaurant in town together. I really thought he'd message me more than those few words the next day, and not just ignore my last message and then sent a stupid emoji and that's it.
So how should I proceed from here? Am I being crazy and I should just give him more time and see if he messages me again? Or should I say something today, maybe ask him about his weekend plans or something?
Thanks!
During that four hour span, were you obsessing as to why he hadn't messaged you? Maybe I'm crazy....or just old....but expecting someone to constantly text message you is ridiculous.
Goodness--it's not even been 24 hours since either of you texted the other. No matter how much chemistry there was, it was a single date. No big deal and certainly not enough to expect constant texting. He's probably hiding in a room somewhere wondering why you haven't texted him back. (sarcasm intended here).
I am old. I really don't understand this need for instant and constant communication. When my husband and I began dating we often went 3-4 days without speaking to each other.
If you want to see him again, CALL him after working hours and make a plan.
Goodness--it's not even been 24 hours since either of you texted the other. No matter how much chemistry there was, it was a single date. No big deal and certainly not enough to expect constant texting. He's probably hiding in a room somewhere wondering why you haven't texted him back. (sarcasm intended here).
I am old. I really don't understand this need for instant and constant communication. When my husband and I began dating we often went 3-4 days without speaking to each other.
If you want to see him again, CALL him after working hours and make a plan.
Very true. My perspective is a bit dated but I remember the early stages typically being a phone call or two during the week and plans together for the weekend. I thought that was also the norm now, just with texting. Guys mess things all the time by getting too eager and trying to force daily contact, but then you get girls like this who get all nervous if he skips a day.
I don't need constant communication, I just find it a bit off. Actually, let me post the conversation we had, maybe it makes more sense then.
Him (around 1pm the day after we went on that date): And, did you already find the proof that the cuisine in xxx (his country) is way better than in xxx (my country)?
Me: Not yet because I have sooo much to do at work, but trust me, I'll need a few seconds to find proof that it's the other way around haha
Him: Hahahaha never! Not even in your dreams
Me: Oh def! Actually even in your dreams
He then read it and didn't answer, and later I sent him a link to a funny article about food and said 'Look what I found', to that he just answered a laughing emoji and that was it. Now it's the afternoon and almost 24h since we talked, and I do find that weird, isn't it? I mean again, I don't need constant communication, but I feel like every time a guy was really into me he would at least answer more than just an emoji, and message me at least once or twice a day. Or ask me out again. The vibe during the whole date was so positive though. And I mean he did kiss me in the end for a while.
I still haven't made up my mind if I should message him. I was thinking to maybe wait til tomorrow and say something if he doesn't say anything today? And btw, in my generation nobody really calls anymore, especially not when you just met someone, that's seen as kinda weird actually.
NO, NO, NO!!! It's not weird. It's not off. And based on this post I think you do expect too much communication.
There are some things I tell my 20 something son about dating, etc. Just be honest. Put yourself out there. Don't play games or overthink things. Be yourself. If a person thinks you text too much or too little or whatever, that's not the person for you.
Communication methods may have changed, but human emotions, expectations and needs have not changed.
And I really don't get the hesitation to contact someone that you enjoyed spending time with on a date. It's game playing and not honesty.
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