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You came here looking for validation and when you’re told that your behavior is also a red flag and may be part of your boyfriends behavior towards you, you flip out. You’re not perfect. Step back and look at your own actions.
This is new relationship and at this stage, it should be lovey dovey honey moon stage. But I kind of feel like he is purposely slowing things down. When we are not together, I do not feel much I have a boyfriend. Because of his communication behaviour, I am feeling iffy about him so I only told one friend about him.
Is this a red flag? Should I casually confront about it to him tomorrow? Or should I wait it out and get to know him better.
I agree with you that it should be lovey dovey.
I think you should move on, this relationship is not working out. Seriously--it there are these kind of issues in the beginning it is not going to change. He is showing you how he is. He is not going to change.
I was NOT the one who brought up to make this relationship exclusive or being girlfriend and boyfriend. He was one who did all that, and he's now he is also the one who's bringing up the fact that it's too fast.
I just wanted to point out that being exclusive and moving "too fast" are two different things.
Exclusivity is just one aspect of a new relationship. I tend to only date exclusively pretty much from day one. I'm simply not interested in a dude who's out there seeing 2-3 different women over the course of a week because I'd never do that myself. I don't believe in casual sex anyway, so for me, it's pretty much a given that any new connection (once romance has clearly been established) would be exclusive, and I'm interested in men who feel the same.
Along with exclusivity, there are other aspects that could be moving too fast, such as requiring daily communication, planning for the future, etc. So just because he wants to be exclusive doesn't mean he wants to jump into a serious relationship. You know what I'm saying?
No guy is "scared it goes too fast" when he is into a girl. He only uses that excuse when he isn't.
BTW, Birdie gives the best advice around here and if you'll listen, you may get a good piece of advice.
It is a valid excuse if “going too fast” includes a requirement of texting immediately upon receipt of your text. That is just not realistic. You might be doing something else or out with friends, or simply not want to have to be in constant contact with someone at every minute of every day. That is a far cry from being exclusive.
Last edited by RamenAddict; 10-05-2018 at 10:27 AM..
Reason: Typo
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