Letting someone down gently (dating, friends, couple, friendship)
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In my experience, it doesn't crush them as much as you imagine. Just put yourself in their place and think of how you would want it done.
Start with the "bad" news. Don't mess around with a lot of preparatory language, like, "I really wanted to tell you something. I hope you know I don't want to hurt you, but I, uh, I just don't, uh ...."
IMHO, think it's best to say something like, "I just don't think this is working out." Then briefly explain why.
After that, most will not want to hang around very long. If they are the dramatic type and start crying or asking you a lot of questions or getting angry, you just say you're sorry it didn't work out and say you have to go.
In my experience, it doesn't crush them as much as you imagine. Just put yourself in their place and think of how you would want it done.
Start with the "bad" news. Don't mess around with a lot of preparatory language, like, "I really wanted to tell you something. I hope you know I don't want to hurt you, but I, uh, I just don't, uh ...."
IMHO, think it's best to say something like, "I just don't think this is working out." Then briefly explain why.
After that, most will not want to hang around very long. If they are the dramatic type and start crying or asking you a lot of questions or getting angry, you just say you're sorry it didn't work out and say you have to go.
Brrrrrr. I agree with your general premise (direct), but that is REALLY direct. But yeah, get to the point and say what you have to say , in a constructive way. But I would suggest that if this someone is significant in your life, then you owe it to them to hear them out a little bit. (if you've been out on one or two dates, then go with "brrrrr".)
I guess I assumed it was someone who you had only gone out with a couple of times, or who had asked you out for a first time. OP only said. "You aren't really into them." There is no need to extend the drama or draw it out if you are not already in a relationship.
Yes, a LTR definitely takes more discussion and delicacy.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Here is my example of how I let someone down easy via FB message.
Quote:
What I'm gonna say is hard but I'm being honest. I don't think we should go out. I understand your crush on me and am very flattered but after sleeping on it for a few days, I cannot say I can return those feelings. You seem like a cool person and you deserve to have someone who is into you as much as you are into them. I can't say that is me right now. I appreciate your friendship and honesty but I'd prefer to keep this on a friendship level. If you don't want to stay friends, I understand.
Private message. Wasn't exactly a break up and I ain't have her number, how else am I supposed to do it?
So you weren't really dating. That's reasonable. I thought you broke up with someone you were actually seeing.
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Wasn't exactly a break up and I ain't have her number, how else am I supposed to do it?
