Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
My boyfriend has gone on a solo backpacking trip to Vietnam. He left on the 29th of September and he'll be returning on the 26th of October (11 days from now).
I had very mixed feelings about my boyfriend going backpacking (I was very apprehensive about the whole thing as I felt that he was under-prepared and had been very impulsive about booking the trip). Quite honestly, I really didn't want him to go, I was so worried about missing him and I'm also unemployed at the moment so it is not the best time for him to leave me by myself. However, I let my boyfriend go as I wanted him to do something for himself and I would never want to get in the way of him doing something that he really wants to do. It was very difficult to say goodbye on the day that he was leaving, I was in tears for the whole day and also a few times during the days leading up to him leaving for his flight. My boyfriend was also upset on the day that he was leaving, he was even thinking of changing his mind about going and purposely missing his flight - I told him that he couldn't do this and that he had to go to Vietnam as it was something that he wanted to do for himself.
Anyway, long story short (he's now 16 days into his backpacking trip) and he's been making very minimal effort to communicate with me and contact me over whatsapp or call or anything. Its not just that but he's also not updating me with his plans, I have no idea where he is or what he's doing unless i ask him first. We've had a few conversations, but these have only happened because I've reached out to him first. We were having a conversation today (I messaged him first), he told me he was at a restaurant and having a meal (I hadn't heard from him in 5 days), but he basically just stopped replying to my messages out of the blue. He didn't say goodbye or close the conversation. I can see that he read my messages, but just chose not to respond. This was over 5 hours ago and I never got a response bacK. I can also see that he's still online. he never bothered to reply to what i was saying and i know that he was just sitting at a restaurant the whole time so what excuse does he have. how could he not find the time to reply to me whilst he's sitting at a restaurant??? Was he at the restaurant alone?????
Its definitely not a wifi or signal issue as i see that he is online all of the time and updating his facebook and instagram regularly.
I'm really not asking for much. I just want to be reassured and to at least know that he is thinking of me and that he is having a good time. Instead, I feel like I don't exist, I feel like he's completely forgotten about me. Maybe he is having a great time and he is busy doing and seeing lots of things, but still did I never really mean anything to him then??
As he's on holiday... I'm sure that he has plenty of spare time when he could at least send me a message or make some effort to communicate with me (what about downtime in the hostels he's staying at, what about when he's in bed or sitting down at a cafe, bar or restaurant?) I don't want to disrupt his holiday and I'm not even asking him to message me every day or to even get into any detail about what he is doing as I want him to have his freedom and I don't want him to feel like I'm tieing him down or demanding things, however at the very least I would like at least like to know that he still thinks of me... I would be more than pleased if he just sent me a short and simple message every couple of days... it could be a simple "love you" or he could just wish me a nice day. Anything would be better than nothing.
I honestly don't know what to think? Has he got with somebody else? Does he just not care enough to message me? Is he having such an amazing time in Vietnam that our life together was nothing in comparison? I honestly feel nauseous just thinking about all of the different possibilities.
He also mentioned to me that he had met another girl and boy and that he was travelling with them to different hostels.... I don't know but my mind is spiralling out of control and i can't help it. he's made me feel like this.
He knows that I've been quite down recently (before he left) and that I can get anxious and worry about things. On top of that I'm unemployed and I've been job hunting for the past two months, I've been having a really rough time. He knows that I didn't want him to go, but I let him because I knew that he deserved to do something for himself and I knew that he would regret it if he didn't go. Why would he do something as drastic as going backpacking alone around Asia and leave me hanging like this? Leave me feeling so insecure and upset. Can he not even be responsible enough to let me know that he's safe and that things are going smoothly? HIM BACKPACKING IN VIETNAM IS A MAJOR MAJOR DEAL TO ME. I MISS HIM EVERY DAY AND I WAS WORRIED FOR DAYS ON END THINKING ABOUT HIM GOING BEFORE HE LEFT. I STILL WORRY ALL OF THE TIME
Quite honestly, I'm feeling angry, hurt and resentful. I feel like I don't exist to him anymore. If he carry's on treating me like this, then I don't even think I'm going to feel like going to meet him at the airport when he arrives back.
I honestly had no idea I had such an inconsiderate boyfriend.
My boyfriend has gone on a solo backpacking trip to Vietnam. He left on the 29th of September and he'll be returning on the 26th of October (11 days from now).
I had very mixed feelings about my boyfriend going backpacking (I was very apprehensive about the whole thing as I felt that he was under-prepared and had been very impulsive about booking the trip). Quite honestly, I really didn't want him to go, I was so worried about missing him and I'm also unemployed at the moment so it is not the best time for him to leave me by myself. However, I let my boyfriend go as I wanted him to do something for himself and I would never want to get in the way of him doing something that he really wants to do. It was very difficult to say goodbye on the day that he was leaving, I was in tears for the whole day and also a few times during the days leading up to him leaving for his flight. My boyfriend was also upset on the day that he was leaving, he was even thinking of changing his mind about going and purposely missing his flight - I told him that he couldn't do this and that he had to go to Vietnam as it was something that he wanted to do for himself.
Anyway, long story short (he's now 16 days into his backpacking trip) and he's been making very minimal effort to communicate with me and contact me over whatsapp or call or anything. Its not just that but he's also not updating me with his plans, I have no idea where he is or what he's doing unless i ask him first. We've had a few conversations, but these have only happened because I've reached out to him first. We were having a conversation today (I messaged him first), he told me he was at a restaurant and having a meal (I hadn't heard from him in 5 days), but he basically just stopped replying to my messages out of the blue. He didn't say goodbye or close the conversation. I can see that he read my messages, but just chose not to respond. This was over 5 hours ago and I never got a response bacK. I can also see that he's still online. he never bothered to reply to what i was saying or even say goodbye.
Its definitely not a wifi or signal issue as i see that he is online all of the time and updating his facebook and instagram regularly.
I'm really not asking for much. I just want to be reassured and to at least know that he is thinking of me and that he is having a good time. Instead, I feel like I don't exist, I feel like he's completely forgotten about me. Maybe he is having a great time and he is busy doing and seeing lots of things, but still did I never really mean anything to him then??
As he's on holiday... I'm sure that he has plenty of spare time when he could at least send me a message or make some effort to communicate with me (what about downtime in the hostels he's staying at, what about when he's in bed or sitting down at a cafe, bar or restaurant?) I don't want to disrupt his holiday and I'm not even asking him to message me every day or to even get into any detail about what he is doing as I want him to have his freedom and I don't want him to feel like I'm tieing him down or demanding things, however at the very least I would like at least like to know that he still thinks of me... I would be more than pleased if he just sent me a short and simple message every couple of days... it could be a simple "love you" or he could just wish me a nice day. Anything would be better than nothing.
I honestly don't know what to think? Has he got with somebody else? Does he just not care enough to message me? Is he having such an amazing time in Vietnam that our life together was nothing in comparison? I honestly feel nauseous just thinking about all of the different possibilities.
He knows that I've been quite down recently (before he left) and that I can get anxious and worry about things. On top of that I'm unemployed and I've been job hunting for the past two months, I've been having a really rough time. He knows that I didn't want him to go, but I let him because I knew that he deserved to do something for himself and I knew that he would regret it if he didn't go. Why would he do something as drastic as going backpacking alone around Asia and leave me hanging like this? Leave me feeling so insecure and upset. Can he not even be responsible enough to let me know that he's safe and that things are going smoothly? HIM BACKPACKING IN VIETNAM IS A MAJOR MAJOR DEAL TO ME. I MISS HIM EVERY DAY AND I WAS WORRIED FOR DAYS ON END THINKING ABOUT HIM GOING BEFORE HE LEFT. I STILL WORRY ALL OF THE TIME
Quite honestly, I'm feeling angry, hurt and resentful. I feel like I don't exist to him anymore. If he carry's on treating me like this, then I don't even think I'm going to feel like going to meet him at the airport when he arrives back.
I honestly had no idea I had such an inconsiderate boyfriend.
You sound really needy and clingy. Get over it! He’ll probably be happier and more relaxed when he gets back.
If you act like this when he’s home I am not surprised that you haven’t heard from him. You’re not going to die from not seeing him for a couple of weeks. Why do you need him to hold your hand during your job search anyway. Are you an adult?
You sound really needy and clingy. Get over it! He’ll probably be happier and more relaxed when he gets back.
If you act like this when he’s home I am not surprised that you haven’t heard from him. You’re not going to die from not seeing him for a couple of weeks. Why do you need him to hold your hand during your job search anyway. Are you an adult?
Thats fine...
I'm not going to contact him for the remaining 11 days until he's back then.
Thats fine...
I'm not going to contact him for the remaining 11 days until he's back then.
Yes, give him some space. The relationship may or may not work out, but no one wants to be smothered.
He knows you want to talk. SO, he knows you are not ignoring him. Give him some space.
I can't say I have been backpacking - but I know how annoying it is to be in the middle of something, and to get a text message from someone who wants to know what I am doing, or wants to get into a lengthy conversation.
Are you sure he's your boyfriend? According to your many other threads, things have never gone smoothly between you two. Isn't he 10 years younger than you, or something? And he doesn't want kids, and you do?
OP, he's on vacation. Let him enjoy his escape from the rest of the world. That's what vacations are for; to drop out for awhile, and take a break from life's concerns. HIS vacation is not about YOU. Furthermore, it's Vietnam for heaven's sake! They probably don't have easy internet access, especially if he's visiting rural areas.
OP, get over yourself. Go find something to do in your free time, so you're not obsessing.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
