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These are all good points, K12144. If she is as horrible with money as he says, how do I or him know his money won't get taken? This whole thing is just a mess of their feelings towards each other. And I don't feel like I am ever going to have any of the privileges that this girl currently has. Also, also: WHERE THE HELL IS YOUR HUSBAND AND HOW DOES HE FEEL ABOUT THIS?!
Will you just get rid of him already?! There should be nothing to think about, consider, ponder, etc., etc., etc.
I don't see one good quality about him & I'm not talking about if he takes you out every Friday for dinner, buys your kids toys, &/or pays for gas for the car every other month. I'm talking about the MAJOR stuff that matters. He's failed in ALL of those aspects. I wouldn't want my kids to lay eyes on him another day. Kids are resilient. They bounce back fast.
I feel sorry for your kids that they have a mother who's wishy-washy about whether to get rid of a schemer like this or not & actually willing to stay w/ this bum. When a person had kids, their own needs are no longer the priority. Those kids become the priority.
This bum you're w/ is basically telling you to, "shut the f up & deal w/ it that he'll always have this other woman in his life till you're all 80 yr old". Is that what you want? You shouldn't be afraid if ANY other woman wants him...they can ALL have him as far as you should be concerned.
Who wants to bet that the OP will still be w/ him a month later?
Her husband can't be of high caliber either (like her & your boyfriend). NO ONE's doing the right thing here & you're just in it...for what, I have no idea why.
I didn't say my kids weren't my main priority. I previously mentioned that it took months before I even introduced someone new into their lives. And I am trying to be absolutely sure before I take someone out of it. Additionally, it stopped being about my needs and it does concern me that they will be feeling a sense of loss as well towards someone that they considered a dad.
It has only been a week since I started working on my own thing, I also mentioned I have not spoken to him since. I started this thread because I wanted more opinions on the situation. The general consensus is that I am not wrong for wanting to finally give in and let go of the two of them.
Does this mean that if I am to decide to stay, I have to accept that him and I will never share an account, she will forever be able to see our every move with where we spend money AND she gets the satisfaction that he stands up to me but stands up for her?
This sounds like a losing battle.
It does not mean you have to, because you already have. He already knows he can do this and you will do nothing.
I've been with my bf about 2.5 yrs now. About 9 mos ago, I found out he still shared this with his ex of 5 yrs: same phone plan, Netflix, bank account. He took her off of Netflix and after fussing at him, got his own phone plan. However, he refuses to split the bank accounts. Last Nov, I gave him a 6 wk deadline to do so and by Christmas, he still had not texted her. After bringing it up again, he texted her but she never followed through and he never asked again. Fast forward to now and he still will not speak to her about it. He says that if she has no problem with it and neither does he, why is it my business. She says the same. The bank account lists her as the primary so she would have to initiate the split. They've been separated for 5 yrs and she got married last September. I feel like he's choosing her over me by keeping this very important tie to her. Am I wrong?
Yeah I was kind of like why is it your business too, you're not married to him, until I read the above: that SHE is married. Once you get married, your spouses financial dealings become yours as well. Does he even use this bank account?
^ I doubt it. The 2 of them have so many secrets & lies, who knows what any of you know & don't know. From what I know, it ALWAYS seems that the bad stuff a person comes to find out & about, is only 1/4, 1/2, etc. of it...whatever it is, you sure don't know the ENTIRE truth. Myself & all of us other posters can tell you that right now & we're all total strangers.
How bad must it get to be completely done once & for all & NOT look back?! I wouldn't be surprised if him & her had a threesome or group orgy. The 2 of them seemed to be tied at the hip & want a more cooperative 3rd person (sure NOT you) to be a part of their affair. Who knows, her husband may be in on all this too. I think the 3 of them are in cahootz against YOU. He can "pretend" that she cleaned him out of his $$, so YOU'll have to pay for everything & take care of his @sS, while the 3 of them are all laughing at what a fool they've got in YOU.
Last edited by Forever Blue; 05-10-2019 at 10:05 PM..
The vindictive part of me wanted to tell her husband and blow her crap up too but I'd feel mighty stupid if he already knew and was okay with it. I am ready to be out of this mess and get some quality sleep for the first time in a while. They all deserve each other.
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