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My husband has a short temper and gets aggitated with certain family members. It seems he takes it out on the kids and myself . He doesn't hit anyone, but he's very, very impatient! He's always rushing everyone and he always says he doesn't like to be rushed. He's taken medication in the past for it and it does wonders, but he doesn't seem to think he needs it anymore. He blames his inpatience on us. Anyhow, his twin brother is terminally ill and he just found out he may not live long. Therfore, he goes off the handle at the drop of a dime. I understand what he's going through, but I don't think it's fair to take it out on us. I'm tired of him yelling at us b/c he's stressed. Do you think we should just let it blow over or should he get back on the medication since he can't control his temper on his own? It makes everyone uncomfortable.
My husband has a short temper and gets aggitated with certain family members. It seems he takes it out on the kids and myself . He doesn't hit anyone, but he's very, very impatient! He's always rushing everyone and he always says he doesn't like to be rushed. He's taken medication in the past for it and it does wonders, but he doesn't seem to think he needs it anymore. He blames his inpatience on us. Anyhow, his twin brother is terminally ill and he just found out he may not live long. Therfore, he goes off the handle at the drop of a dime. I understand what he's going through, but I don't think it's fair to take it out on us. I'm tired of him yelling at us b/c he's stressed. Do you think we should just let it blow over or should he get back on the medication since he can't control his temper on his own? It makes everyone uncomfortable.
Ugh, how irritating.
Yeah, wait 'til he's calm then tell him you would like him to go back on the medication. Come up with 3 examples of when he was being angry. Give him the benefit of the doubt - that he is trying, is stressed, and doesn't realize how obnoxious he is being
I have been a pretty high stress guy in the past, which I at times have demonstrated by being impatient with the kids, short with my wife, etc. But ANY time my wife brings it up, I would back off and apologize to the kids, etc.
If he's down to actually YELLING (not just "yelling" as in "you're always yelling at me" which means "always complaining about something), it's gone too far, and he's obviously unable to handle it himself.
Be gentle but firm. This isn't the family dynamic he wants, and certainly isn't the family dynamic you want, and it needs fixing. He needs to back WAY off on the kids...they will be the most hurt by it, and he needs to appreciate you trying your best to help him, to make up where he's vulnerable, and to cover for his shortcomings. So as a team, he's not lettting you do your part if he's not letting you help him help himself. He needs to find a way to suck it up and act right to you and the kids.
Yup, when he does it, he knows and then he apologizes. Then it happens again, we hate it! When we tell him, he needs to go back on the medication, he always turns it around and says you're the one who needs the medication. That way, he says he can deal with me. My mother-in-law and my sister also see it.
Something worked in the past, and once again without it, it's not working? You of course, already know the answer, I think, you just want affirmation.
HERE.....YOU ARE CORRECT!
Possibly, he felt the medication deadened him in some way. I hear that one all the time. The problem being he's deadening everybody else around him without it. Sometimes an intervention is required to get people on drugs they need!
Location: Georgia, on the Florida line, right above Tallahassee
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Get a voice recoriding MP3 player and let him rant. Then when he's calm, whip it out and say "Hey, check this out."
Then play back his best (worst) moment. And ask him if he considers it to be OK.
Then say, "I love you, but I love you more when you aren't like this." Follow that up when "When you're on your medication, you aren't like this."
http://www.itreviews.co.uk/graphics/normal/hardware/h1144.jpg (broken link)
Sometimes you gotta get a little crazy, to fix a little crazy.
Or you could just suffer some more....your choice.
(P.S. Yeah, I own this player. No, I don't work for Sansa. It's a Sansa e280. Works great. Cost 110 bucks at Amazon.)
Incidently, I would just write it up to stress, but you mentioned medication. Seems like a no brainer. I mean, how much abuse do you have to take to stand up for yourself...or your children? They're looking to you, you know....'cuz Daddy is being a fruitball.
I got a lot of theories. I'll share one with you.
No one makes you eat ****, but you. You decide how long you will eat it, how much you will eat, and when you will stop eating it. Sometimes you have to eat ****, like when you need the money...or the job...or the shelter...or whatever. I don't think in this case that eating **** is what you need to do. Sounds like you need to take charge, tell him you love him (that's pretty obvious, too) and say this, in a calm voice, preferably after dinner.... (at least, that's the best time to hit me with something)
"I'm tired of you yelling/being snappy/being cranky with me and the kids. Can you please take your medication?"
A couple of things might happen. You might not like what I am about to say.
1. He will take the medication. Peace will be restored.
2. He will say he will take the medication, and not. Peace will not be restored. He has just decided that you and the kids are not as important as him.
Your feelings (and the kids) don't count.
3. He will say he will not take the medication. See #2.
You need to decide what you going to do if he decides that your feelings are not as important as his feelings. It's called "being selfish." and it SUCKS>
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