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I've gotten a lot cagier recently about friending guys I'm merely "talking" to, but did friend one recently b/c he was going to India for a month and we wanted to talk on facetime. We had some great conversations and were really excited to meet and then we did and really hit it off.
He was even more excited than me and started to make future plans for dates and such lol, but after our second date, I decided to take a second look at his FB profile, b/c something came up that gave me concern and that was that the same woman kept liking and commenting on his posts and posting emojis with hearts and flowers and such. I noticed that he never posted anything back on her profile that I could see, but noticed that he never liked or posted anything on mine or any other woman's either. I went to check his friends list and it was off limits for me to see.
I know a lot of people say you shouldn't pay any mind to what people do on social media but this was enough to spook me and think that he has a GF already or he would be asking this woman to cease and desist--esp since he had told me that other women had been spooked by how many women friends he has on FB. When I canceled our next date I told him why and he said she was "just a friend" but I figured if she was, he'd be asking her to stop ruining his chances at dating, and since he didn't, she's probably the GF. Smart woman. BTW, she lives in a different state and he moved here recently to work.
I've gotten a lot cagier recently about friending guys I'm merely "talking" to, but did friend one recently b/c he was going to India for a month and we wanted to talk on facetime. We had some great conversations and were really excited to meet and then we did and really hit it off.
He was even more excited than me and started to make future plans for dates and such lol, but after our second date, I decided to take a second look at his FB profile, b/c something came up that gave me concern and that was that the same woman kept liking and commenting on his posts and posting emojis with hearts and flowers and such. I noticed that he never posted anything back on her profile that I could see, but noticed that he never liked or posted anything on mine or any other woman's either. I went to check his friends list and it was off limits for me to see.
I know a lot of people say you shouldn't pay any mind to what people do on social media but this was enough to spook me and think that he has a GF already or he would be asking this woman to cease and desist--esp since he had told me that other women had been spooked by how many women friends he has on FB. When I canceled our next date I told him why and he said she was "just a friend" but I figured if she was, he'd be asking her to stop ruining his chances at dating, and since he didn't, she's probably the GF. Smart woman. BTW, she lives in a different state and he moved here recently to work.
I'm sorry. You met a guy with whom you really clicked, then declined to go out with him further because some other woman wrote flirty messages on his Facebook feed, even though he didn't reciprocate?
I would not mind if he has female friends licking or posting emoji. Also I wont assume she is probably GF because there is lot possibility that I am wrong in that. Some woman do like posts, post emoji hearts with out any knowledge what they are doing or saying. Also if you cannot see his friends list I don't think that woman can either. But if you feel you did the right thing that is all about.
We had some great conversations and were really excited to meet and then we did and really hit it off.
He was even more excited than me and started to make future plans for dates and such lol
Too bad you didn't stop right there with that thought instead of looking for reasons to doubt this. I once had reasons to do a criminal background check and was glad I did, but pay no mind to social media. Don't bother checking if it makes you insecure.
All you really proved is that other women like him...that can actually confirm your good taste, and he likes YOU, so it was a compliment.
If someone liked your posts a lot, would you really respond: "stop ruining my chances with other men!"
Too bad you didn't stop right there with that thought instead of looking for reasons to doubt this. I once had reasons to do a criminal background check and was glad I did, but pay no mind to social media. Don't bother checking if it makes you insecure.
All you really proved is that other women like him...that can actually confirm your good taste, and he likes YOU, so it was a compliment.
If someone liked your posts a lot, would you really respond: "stop ruining my chances with other men!"
Yep. I mean, almost everyone of reasonable attractiveness and people skills likely has someone pining after them on social media some way, somehow.
Facebook is not reality. It is fun. It's a great way to keep up with people. But it is not a great way to assess character.
Yep. I mean, almost everyone of reasonable attractiveness and people skills likely has someone pining after them on social media some way, somehow.
Facebook is not reality. It is fun. It's a great way to keep up with people. But it is not a great way to assess character.
Totally disagree. I usually look at someone's FB profile after a few messages when it comes to online dating (I don't friend them, I just look at their profile). In the last 6 months using that method I've discovered that one woman I was talking to was actually married, one was providing pictures that were 5+ years old and 60+ pounds lighter, and one woman's profile was filled with pictures of her and her friends drunk despite her claim that she was a light drinker.
I work for a large healthcare organization and for a time I shared an office with the Director of Safety and Security. He checked the FB profile of every job applicant for his department and talked at length about how he could learn more from 10 minutes of looking at FB than he could in a 2 hour job interview.
Sure, lots of people don't have that much on FB, but many people pretty much put everything out there for the world to see. Add FB to Twitter and Instagram and LinkedIn and you can learn a ton about many people's character with just a bit of research.
OP, my two bits, if it felt off...it probably was. Way too many people these days think you should blindly trust someone just because you're interested in a relationship. Trust your gut.
I have someone who likes or comments on pretty much everything I post and vice versa. We aren't interested in each other; we just have similar views on things. So I wouldn't have cancelled a date just because of that.
However, I did look up two guys I was supposed to go on dates with. One was because I was bored during a snowstorm that postponed our date. I Googled his email address and found his Instagram account showcasing his love of wearing leather and women's shoes (he has cuter shoes than I do!) and autoerotic asyphyxiation.
The other invited me to check him out on FB. One of his profile pictures was his mugshot for possession. This is the one my friends said I should give a chance because after all, beggars can't be choosers. In the end, I didn't meet him because he cancelled our date to go camping instead.
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