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I'm not sure if the word "haunted" is the most descriptive word, but here is my question:
Has any of your ex(es) acted weird when:
they heard about you from someone else (ie, when one of their friends bumped into you),
or even/ seen you or your relatives or friends,
or encountered you or your relatives or friends somewhere?
From both my own experience and my future hubby's experience, our experiences w/ most of our exes (not all, but majority) have been weird, and mind you, these are exes that have been exes for at least 7 years or so ago!!!!
Whenever the majority of our exes either bumped into one of our relatives/ friends (and therefore heard about us), or bumped into us, the majority of them either:
- Acted way superfriendly and talkative AND THEN LIED to us about how much better they are doing since either of us saw them the last time (for example: we've heard some of our exes saying that they're now married with kids and just bought a huge single-family house, only to find out from mutual friends that either they're still living w/ folks, or not married and no kids); or
- Completely went the other way, as if they just saw a ghost ; or
- Acted way superfriendly and talkative to us, and then went home and started spreading false things about us (we know about what they said later on through the grapevine).
I thought people could move past their past after almost a decade has passed since the breakup, but I guess not (??).
Why is that? Why wouldn't you be able to (if you bump into any of them somewhere) simply do small talk, like normal?
Let's see...he's a jerk? I have nothing to say to him? I'm embarassed I ever dated him and prefer not to be reminded how stupid I was???
I really have nothing to say to him and wouldn't want to sit there and fake polite conversation for the sake of being polite. What's the point in that? He's just not someone I care to ever talk to again. I'd rather walk the opposite direction and just avoid the situation all together.
I'm not sure if the word "haunted" is the most descriptive word, but here is my question:
Has any of your ex(es) acted weird when:
they heard about you from someone else (ie, when one of their friends bumped into you),
or even/ seen you or your relatives or friends,
or encountered you or your relatives or friends somewhere?
From both my own experience and my future hubby's experience, our experiences w/ most of our exes (not all, but majority) have been weird, and mind you, these are exes that have been exes for at least 7 years or so ago!!!!
Whenever the majority of our exes either bumped into one of our relatives/ friends (and therefore heard about us), or bumped into us, the majority of them either:
- Acted way superfriendly and talkative AND THEN LIED to us about how much better they are doing since either of us saw them the last time (for example: we've heard some of our exes saying that they're now married with kids and just bought a huge single-family house, only to find out from mutual friends that either they're still living w/ folks, or not married and no kids); or
- Completely went the other way, as if they just saw a ghost ; or
- Acted way superfriendly and talkative to us, and then went home and started spreading false things about us (we know about what they said later on through the grapevine).
I thought people could move past their past after almost a decade has passed since the breakup, but I guess not (??).
What about your ex(es) stories?
You would think people could "move past their past" in a decade - but not everyone can I suppose. Unfortunately many of them are holding grudges (! - see the grudge thread!) and for others I think they still get a stab of pain in that ex's presense so they just don't want to have to deal with them. It's sad really. My parents divorced when I was a kid and eventually both remarried new people. Still, it took until the first grandchild was born for them to be able to be in the same room together (my first child). Once they could do that it was so freeing for ME. Not that they are best friends now or anything, but they are cordial and I personally think we are all so much better off because of it.
You would think people could "move past their past" in a decade - but not everyone can I suppose. Unfortunately many of them are holding grudges (! - see the grudge thread!) and for others I think they still get a stab of pain in that ex's presense so they just don't want to have to deal with them. It's sad really. My parents divorced when I was a kid and eventually both remarried new people. Still, it took until the first grandchild was born for them to be able to be in the same room together (my first child). Once they could do that it was so freeing for ME. Not that they are best friends now or anything, but they are cordial and I personally think we are all so much better off because of it.
Or maybe moving past it means not dealing with your ex.
It's different if you share children because you need to get along for the kid's sake but if you don't, there's no reason you ever need to talk again. I have no desire to even say hello to my ex. He's part of my past. Part I don't care to deal with.
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; or
experiences with one, but not something I'd share on a public forum.
