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I made a thread a month or so ago discussing my boyfriend's (Jake) genius friend (Andy) who randomly came to Jake's (parent's) house at 2 in the morning to use the bathroom. Well you aren't even going to believe this. IT HAPPENED AGAIN. This time at 3 in the morning. I wasn't there, just heard about it afterward. Jake wasn't the least bit bothered by it. I flipped out because I think it's really rude to just show up like that, at that hour when people are sleeping, for something that isn't an emergency. They don't lock their door so they make it very easy for anyone to walk in at any time of the day or night.
I am just flabbergasted! This is causing a tiff between Jake and I because while I think it was totally uncalled for, he doesn't see any issue with it. When I told him how I felt (when he asked my opinion), he even went so far as to say that I'm acting like I'm superior and manners don't make any sense because people are all raised differently. What the hell? Anyway, I can't help but wonder what's going to happen when we live together. There is no way I would stand for that. At least his friend is moving to Florida in a few months. Thank God. I'm just so tired of these people.
Another one of Jake's friends (Kyle) has been living in Jake's (parent's) basement for seven months. He's unemployed (and is not actively looking for work), contributes nothing to the house, but eats their food, uses their computers, watches their TV, rides their bikes, etc while retaining enough money to buy pot once in a while (which I don't have a problem with by itself, but to put that ahead of basic necessities is INSANE)...don't people have any shame?
I made a thread a month or so ago discussing my boyfriend's (Jake) genius friend (Andy) who randomly came to Jake's (parent's) house at 2 in the morning to use the bathroom. Well you aren't even going to believe this. IT HAPPENED AGAIN. This time at 3 in the morning. I wasn't there, just heard about it afterward. Jake wasn't the least bit bothered by it. I flipped out because I think it's really rude to just show up like that, at that hour when people are sleeping, for something that isn't an emergency. They don't lock their door so they make it very easy for anyone to walk in at any time of the day or night.
I am just flabbergasted! This is causing a tiff between Jake and I because while I think it was totally uncalled for, he doesn't see any issue with it. When I told him how I felt (when he asked my opinion), he even went so far as to say that I'm acting like I'm superior and manners don't make any sense because people are all raised differently. What the hell? Anyway, I can't help but wonder what's going to happen when we live together. There is no way I would stand for that. At least his friend is moving to Florida in a few months. Thank God. I'm just so tired of these people.
Another one of Jake's friends (Kyle) has been living in Jake's (parent's) basement for seven months. He's unemployed (and is not actively looking for work), contributes nothing to the house, but eats their food, uses their computers, watches their TV, rides their bikes, etc while retaining enough money to buy pot once in a while (which I don't have a problem with by itself, but to put that ahead of basic necessities is INSANE)...don't people have any shame?
I think someone needs to have the guts to get rid of those freeloading people out of their lives.
A lot of "genius" level people have no common sense. It's why we all laugh at Sheldon, on Big Bang Theory.
Evidently. Jake is quite intelligent and he makes it well known that rational thinking is more important than emotions and culture. Sometimes I admire our differences but today it's really bothering me.
I made a thread a month or so ago discussing my boyfriend's (Jake) genius friend (Andy) who randomly came to Jake's (parent's) house at 2 in the morning to use the bathroom. Well you aren't even going to believe this. IT HAPPENED AGAIN. This time at 3 in the morning. I wasn't there, just heard about it afterward. Jake wasn't the least bit bothered by it. I flipped out because I think it's really rude to just show up like that, at that hour when people are sleeping, for something that isn't an emergency. They don't lock their door so they make it very easy for anyone to walk in at any time of the day or night.
I am just flabbergasted! This is causing a tiff between Jake and I because while I think it was totally uncalled for, he doesn't see any issue with it. When I told him how I felt (when he asked my opinion), he even went so far as to say that I'm acting like I'm superior and manners don't make any sense because people are all raised differently. What the hell? Anyway, I can't help but wonder what's going to happen when we live together. There is no way I would stand for that. At least his friend is moving to Florida in a few months. Thank God. I'm just so tired of these people.
Another one of Jake's friends (Kyle) has been living in Jake's (parent's) basement for seven months. He's unemployed (and is not actively looking for work), contributes nothing to the house, but eats their food, uses their computers, watches their TV, rides their bikes, etc while retaining enough money to buy pot once in a while (which I don't have a problem with by itself, but to put that ahead of basic necessities is INSANE)...don't people have any shame?
I see ALOT of arguing between you and Jake in your future. He obviously doesn't feel the same about lack of manners and freeloaders as you. If it's bothering you now, it will only get worse when you actually live together.
I think someone needs to have the guts to get rid of those freeloading people out of their lives.
No kidding. Jake's mom wants Kyle OUT but hesitates to confront him because she doesn't want him to end up on the streets and she doesn't know how he would react to being told to leave. Isn't that sad? She's afraid to confront him. But she brings it up all the time to Jake and I. I can't really do anything because I don't live there, and it doesn't bother Jake so he doesn't do anything. It just bothers me seeing people running away from their debts (which both Kyle and Andy have done) and expecting other people to support them. I try to be understanding but this has been going on for so long...I can't keep making excuses for other people's laziness. Maybe that makes me a bad person, but I would never, EVER impose on another person like that.
It sounds like it's Jake's parents who need to put their feet down--not you or Jake. It's not your house. If mom & dad don't mind it, then it's their choice. If they really cared, why wouldn't they just lock the door?
(That said, it would never cross my mind to use someone else's bathroom in the middle of the night--or any time of day, really)
If you're so adamantly against freeloaders though, I have to wonder if you aren't a little bit angry at Jake for living with his parents too? (I obviously don't know any background info, maybe there's a very good reason why he is)
[quote=mchelle;15118745]How important are these to you?
Dang! They sound kinda like The Adams Family.
By never locking their doors, allowing weirdos to wonder in and out at all hours, and even keeping a bum in their basement, this is NOT a normal family home. It's just a flophouse!
Jake was brought up this way, his parents taught him that this way of life is okay, therefore, he thinks it's totally normal.
He is even telling you that this is the way that HE intends to live for the rest of his life, and if you don't like it...Too bad!
Many women think that they can change a man into being something other than what he is, but it will never happen. It's wishful thinking.
Unless you are willing to live this way with him, think long and hard before moving in together.
Your moral values and living standards are worlds apart.
Are you okay with letting any children you may have together take on his lifestyle? Yikes!
If it were me, I'd run the other way as fast as I could.
Good luck to you, whatever you decide to do.
Last edited by WestWillow; 07-20-2010 at 12:06 PM..
Evidently. Jake is quite intelligent and he makes it well known that rational thinking is more important than emotions and culture. Sometimes I admire our differences but today it's really bothering me.
a truly intelligent person discounts neither.
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At least his friend is moving to Florida in a few months. Thank God. I'm just so tired of these people. 
