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Its sort of funny that men failing to reach their potential is framed as not a problem for men, but a problem for women. As if men at large have some sort of obligation to be amazingly awesome to women and that magazines and video games are distracting them their divine duty, LOL. If some one inferred that women aren't doing their makeup of cooking enough meals for men these days there would be an uproar. At any rate, the quotes in the article seem to indicate women are still sleeping with these men (and in quantities large enough for them to notice a trend in their own selection) so it sounds like what men are doing isn't exactly not working.
Courtesy of my being into much older men, I haven't encountered at least this problem yet, short of a brief fling with one overgrown kid last year who was in reality only 5 years younger than I am.
The situation appears to be quite pathetic… I really feel for the people who are in the peak of their youth…
Most young women prefer fun and carefree, over serious and goal driven, if they have to choose one.
There are definitely serious, goal driven young men out there, and most of them are dateless on a Friday night.
The "nice guy"/"bad boy" dichotomy goes both ways. Women have every right to date whichever they choose, and men have every right to be whichever they choose.... provided no one is getting hurt. Same the other way around... there's nothing wrong with a woman who lives for the moment instead of focusing on "growing up".
I feel like it semi-bashes men, but I understand it's coming from a frustrated female perspective. I can tell you there's plenty of good men out there just as frustrated with the dating world today and how complex, picky, and irrational women can be.
There particular quote hit home for some truth to me:
"Today's pre-adult male is like an actor in a drama in which he only knows what he shouldn't say. He has to compete in a fierce job market, but he can't act too bossy or self-confident. He should be sensitive but not paternalistic, smart but not cocky. To deepen his predicament, because he is single, his advisers and confidants are generally undomesticated guys just like him. "
I'm going to blame the educational system. It's the driving force for prolonging adolescence into one's mid 20s. Today's college degree is the equivalent of a high school diploma two generations ago. So now, one isn't considered to be a consequential adult until one is almost 30.
I honestly read that article in its entirety. It wasn't interesting. It was redundantly stupid.
I found it to be extremely bashing. The author must be a bitter lesbian or something. I think she recognizes some of the problems young males face, but she's writing the article like the blame is completely on the single-male's shoulders.
How about the women who castrate their men, boss them around, and hold sex over their heads, only to divorce him, take his money and his kids, all because he has no balls and can't stand up to her (probably because she whipped him for so many years). How about these "lifestyle" shows like sex in the city that preach picky-ness and project on these women "what dating life should be like", not to mention books like "he's just not that into you" which basically say if the guy isn't doing everything he can to be with you all the time and constantly asking you out and buying you flowers, then he's not that into you. Maybe the guy realizes he has to play these games just to have a chance at keeping a woman's interest, simply because if she finds out he is all in and interested, she loses the mystery of it all and loses her fun in the chase of it all. You also have the romantic comedies with these crazy love-stories that no man can live up to, and if there's any adversity in the beginning he's chalked up to being a "player" or "douche-bag".
I really hate how women have so many options for guys to get just about whatever they want from them, yet they roll their eyes and think to themselves so much about "I don't know what I want" or contradict their own statements to find a "decent guy" yet go out with the jerk that makes them cry and cheats on them. Guys do this crap too, but c'mon, to put this all on the prophesized adolescent-adult male for not wanting to play into modern, professional, enabled, free-thinking women's garbage games is just plain stupid and one sided.
At least the author recognizes toward the end that "hey, why would the guy want to go through all that, why not just have another beer" hits spot on with the mentality. Guys get burned early enough to realize that hollywood's projection of how to start a relationship is irrelevant to the real world and that chasing after women who don't know what they want anyway will just lead to confusion and heartache. It's best to take a passive, carefree approach to all of it, and if it means just using what he can get from a woman for the time being then more power to him.
I found it to be extremely bashing. The author must be a bitter lesbian or something. I think she recognizes some of the problems young males face, but she's writing the article like the blame is completely on the single-male's shoulders.
How about the women who castrate their men, boss them around, and hold sex over their heads, only to divorce him, take his money and his kids, all because he has no balls. How about these "lifestyle" shows like sex in the city that preach picky-ness and project on these women "what dating life should be like". You also have the romantic comedies with these crazy love-stories that no man can live up to, and if there's any adversity he's chalked up to being a "player" or "douche-bag".
I really hate how women have so many options for guys to get just about whatever they want from them, yet they roll their eyes and think to themselves so much about "I don't know what I want" or contradict their own statements to find a "decent guy" yet go out with the jerk that makes them cry and cheats on them. Guys do this crap too, but c'mon, to put this all on the prophesized adolescent-adult male for not wanting to play into modern, professional, enabled, free-thinking women's garbage games is just plain stupid and one sided.
At least the author recognizes toward the end that "hey, why would the guy want to go through all that, why not just have another beer" hits spot on with the mentality. Guys get burned early enough to realize that hollywood's projection of how to start a relationship is irrelevant to the real world and that chasing after women who don't know what they want anyway will just lead to confusing and heartache. It's best to take a passive, carefree approach to all of it, and if it means just using what he can get from a woman for the time being then more power to him.
I don't blame this mentality one bit.
The author is married (to a man) and has two children. She is writing this article based off of her book "Manning Up: How the Rise of Women Has Turned Men Into Boys." So I think she acknowledges what role feminism has played in the decline of masculinity.
I honestly read that article in its entirety. It wasn't interesting. It was redundantly stupid.
Wooow!
I couldn't finish it
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