Dating someone that is bisexual... (boyfriends, girlfriends, how to, women)

[KentuckyBlueMoon]

I ask because I think I've mentioned it before on the forum. I dated the love of my young life for about a year when his old boyfriends began resurfacing and showing me pictures of them together on dates. I had seen pictures of him with ex girlfriends and i was so oblivious to all the signs i decided to lie to myself. They told me that I should be flattered that he tried to become straight for me Anyway he eventually told me he was "sexually confused" and we broke up and he moved.

Recently he contacted me saying that he was just going through an "experimental phase" and wants to date again. Now, you all should know that I adore this person and he is asbolutely one of my favorite people to ever walk the planet. However, that would be a recipe for disaster wouldn't it?

His ex boyfriends, and other gay men have told me there is no such thing as bisexual, you are either gay or you're not. I feel like if we dated I would be suspicious of everyone and the whole planet would be my competition..

Anyone ever date someone that was bisexual or turned out to be gay? Would it be out of the question for you?

[quelinda]

I would just find a guy that slept with other men very feminine and it wouldn't be a turn on to me knowing that he wasn't totally excited by, and crazy over, the female form. I would just gross out on this information and knowing he might have given a man oral sex or more.. I dunno, I have no problem with gay people at all but if you like men, then definitely dont come knocking on my door! For some reason, if I was a dude I wouldn't be nearly as grossed out, if at all, if I knew my woman had been with other women. I know, major double standard.

[SanAntoQT]

Originally Posted by quelinda

I would just find a guy that slept with other men very feminine and it wouldn't be a turn on to me knowing that he wasn't totally excited by, and crazy over, the female form. I would just gross out on this information and knowing he might have given a man oral sex or more.. I dunno, I have no problem with gay people at all but if you like men, then definitely dont come knocking on my door! For some reason, if I was a dude I wouldn't be nearly as grossed out, if at all, if I knew my woman had been with other women. I know, major double standard.

Being that I'm bi, you would think that I wouldn't have this same sentiment, but I do. Bi men are a complete turnoff to me. Bi women are hot, though!

[another_hot-day]

Well that's a double standard the majority of society has.

I know one doesn't bother me and the other grosses me out.

[Indi9]

Yes, I have dated people who are bisexual. But it seems to me that the bigger issue here is the dishonesty. What a way to find out. I feel your pain and confusion. Another huge issue would be whether or not you would be willing to be in a polyamorous relationship, which can also happen with straight people. No one can tell you how to feel about this or what to do, since there are probably as many people who would be fine with his bsexuality as those who would be grossed out. Some bisexual men are as macho or "manly" as any straight men. Some bisexual men are monogamous. Some are poly. Sounds like it is time for you to reach inside and honestly reflect. Is it really his bisexuality that is the problem or that he doesn't want to be exclusively with you? What do you want?

[sms0511]

Originally Posted by Smithey

I ask because I think I've mentioned it before on the forum. I dated the love of my young life for about a year when his old boyfriends began resurfacing and showing me pictures of them together on dates. I had seen pictures of him with ex girlfriends and i was so oblivious to all the signs i decided to lie to myself. They told me that I should be flattered that he tried to become straight for me Anyway he eventually told me he was "sexually confused" and we broke up and he moved.

Recently he contacted me saying that he was just going through an "experimental phase" and wants to date again. Now, you all should know that I adore this person and he is asbolutely one of my favorite people to ever walk the planet. However, that would be a recipe for disaster wouldn't it?

His ex boyfriends, and other gay men have told me there is no such thing as bisexual, you are either gay or you're not. I feel like if we dated I would be suspicious of everyone and the whole planet would be my competition..

Anyone ever date someone that was bisexual or turned out to be gay? Would it be out of the question for you?

YES, to answer your question that I bolded. Seems now you have to worry about both women AND men.

[sierraAZ]

Originally Posted by Smithey

Would it be out of the question for you?

Yes, it would.

[FLandFF]

Originally Posted by Smithey

Recently he contacted me saying that he was just going through an "experimental phase" and wants to date again. Now, you all should know that I adore this person and he is asbolutely one of my favorite people to ever walk the planet. However, that would be a recipe for disaster wouldn't it?

Please tell me that's a rhetorical question. No, seriously...

[buildings_and_bridges]

Sounds like the issue is not with bisexuality but a person who just doesn't know who he is or what he wants. As a woman who likes men and women, I wouldn't want to be a part of that no matter who I'm with. It just sounds to me like you'll get hurt. You know that you want him, and it sounds like you really care about him, and he's not sure if he can commit to anyone, especially if he comes out and says this is just his "experimental phase"! Personally, I've had my fill of being part of people's experiments, so I guess I'm taking your story a little personally; I'll concede that. But why would you want to be a part of that, unless you're just experimenting, too?

[artsyguy]

No, I know how charming and fun those folks can be; however, he has probably been burned or burnt out on gay men and wants to come and leech off of you. He is selfish to his core and it isn't a good person to be too close too.