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Old 09-01-2009, 05:31 PM
 
4,250 posts, read 10,453,425 times
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I met this woman at a group. While she is nice enough, she has called me several times today and left messages. I just talked to her yesterday afternoon. I didn't answer the calls today as I don't feel like listening to her tell me I should get a job as a waitress (I have an MBA) while she goes out on fabulous interviews and is rich and used to making a LOT of money.

Anyway, I don't want to be rude, but I don't like being insta friends either. I've known her for a month or so. I don't want to alienate her, as we belong to the same social group. And she seems like a nice person, but she's also told me what I should do and what I need to do. Help! What should I do?
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Old 09-01-2009, 05:50 PM
 
26,142 posts, read 31,195,080 times
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Just keep on NOT answering or return her calls. If she's normal she'lll get the hint. OR everytime you talk to her keep it two sentences short and say you have to get going you're late,
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Old 09-01-2009, 05:55 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
16,224 posts, read 25,674,830 times
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Grow a back bone.
If your not comfortable in her company, then you need to put her in her place. Thats friendly, but not "too" friendly.
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Old 09-01-2009, 06:04 PM
 
26,142 posts, read 31,195,080 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yankeegirl313 View Post
Grow a back bone.
If your not comfortable in her company, then you need to put her in her place. Thats friendly, but not "too" friendly.
Ordinarily I would be right behind you on this but if you read the OP's post they are often in the same social settings at the same time - so this instance calls for a bit of finess
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Old 09-01-2009, 06:07 PM
 
985 posts, read 2,601,646 times
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She's only known you a month and she's already telling you what to do? That's no friend, that's a wolf in sheep's clothing. She's not worth your time, dump her. If she asks about it, just say you're really busy and leave it at that. When you see her in your group of friends be polite but try to avoid talking to her one on one.
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Old 09-01-2009, 06:14 PM
 
4,250 posts, read 10,453,425 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaye02 View Post
She's only known you a month and she's already telling you what to do? That's no friend, that's a wolf in sheep's clothing. She's not worth your time, dump her. If she asks about it, just say you're really busy and leave it at that. When you see her in your group of friends be polite but try to avoid talking to her one on one.
Ahh, but she's trying to "help me." It's the kind of help that sucks you in and you're on the hook for "something." Long story, not worth it.

I do need to be somewhat diplomatic here, as I want no tension in the social group. I will just take my time between phone calls and maybe things will fizzle out. It's just difficult. I'm a person who likes things to be pleasant and I hate confrontation. I also like my own space too and know me better (and what I need to do) than someone who barely knows me. And while I do the phone, I haven't the need to talk to anyone more than a couple of times a week (except for my elderly mother I'm really more of an email person, but obviously she isn't.
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Old 09-01-2009, 06:16 PM
 
Location: Arizona High Desert
4,792 posts, read 5,904,050 times
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I would tell a friend like that (if I had one) that I grow excited by being confused, and "rudderless" when it comes to a vocation. I would have coffee, (and all that) with her, and say things like "You know, there's just so much out there to choose from." Or " I had a friend named Gertie who never worked a day in her life. She's such a card !"
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Old 09-01-2009, 06:16 PM
 
26,142 posts, read 31,195,080 times
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In person you say 'thanks' and then immediately walk away. Chances are others will too.
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Old 09-01-2009, 06:29 PM
 
4,250 posts, read 10,453,425 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Thursday007 View Post
In person you say 'thanks' and then immediately walk away. Chances are others will too.
Easier said than done (for me, at least). I guess I'll just have to be "mean," which really means setting a boundary.

Thing of it is, my net worth is actually greater than hers (unless you count her rich husband and his assets) so I am somewhat miffed at being talked down to and her suggestion I go waitress or work retail (NOT that these aren't fine professions, just not my cup of tea as I am getting older). Having said this, I am not the kind of person who discloses my financial situation to anyone. She always does the thing where she says - my mercedes, my X designer this. Sigh. Gets old.
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Old 09-01-2009, 06:31 PM
 
2,191 posts, read 4,808,498 times
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You do what any self respecting person would do. Step one head to the store and buy yourself some hershey's chocolate syrup. Step two is to invite your "friend" into a loud public area like a mall for a meeting in public. Next you drive to said meeting location early and head to a nearby bathroom. Have her text you saying she's there when she shows up. As soon as she does so cover yourself from head to toe in the entire bottle of chocolate syrup. Next cover yourself in no less than one entire roll of toilet paper. Proceed to run out of the bathroom screaming at the top of your lungs that your ass is on fire and try to make a scene. Knock some tables/chairs over, try to tear some clothing, etc... Be sure that she at least has you in sight. Make a bee line directly out of the store and drive off. You wont hear from her again. Oh be sure to cover your driver's seat in some garbage bags taped down or you'll likely get your car pretty nasty.
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