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LOL Thursday, it is rather scary sounding......it's your life too and you say you don't want that type life; why do they think you can be pressured into this? Saying it once should have been enough. If they won't leave you alone stop the contact and tell the BF what you're doing and why, he should back your decision anyway.
Sounds like somethings up with that family. No matter how well you think you know them, once you move in, you will really know them, and its not going to be preety. This has happened before to someone I know, and it turned out the mother in law was a domineering woman who wanted the son's girlfriend to be there at her beck and call so she could do as she wished with her, like making her drive her around and clean the house. Like a maid. Be very careful, if they all keep pressuring you. The person I know regreted living there from day one. His mother would steal her jewelry and anything else with any value. And, she would constantly monitor her comings and goings making sure she was not two-timing her son. It sounds like your boyfriend has similar thoughts about you. That family sounds like nothing but trouble.
Right now all you need to worry about is supporting and picking up after yourself.
Why would you want to move in with his family? This doesn't bode well for the future of your relationship either. Unless I wanted the life he is trying to sell me, I would move on.
I would sit him down one on one and explain that it's not going to happen. That you enjoy living by yourself, and you aren't at a point in the relationship where you are ready to move in with him. And that you'd appreciate it if he dropped the subject for the time being.
Hopefully that will be enough for him to let it go, and hopefully he'll tell his family to let it go for now.
Different families operate differently. Some people, especially certain heritages, encourage multiple generations living together. If it's not right for you, cross that bridge when you get to it. But if you aren't ready to live with him regardless of where he lives, that part isn't even an issue.
Best of luck.
No one can force you to do anything. If you don't want to move, then put your foot down, get serious and get the message across and tell him to stop pressuring you into something you are not 100% comfortable with.
My BF wants me to move into his family's home. Currently, it's his older parents (who WANT me to move in!), his son, the possibility of his younger children when they come to visit, and nieces and nephews who come to visit the grandparents. Excuse me, but this sounds like a circus to me and as much as I love his family I don't want to be with them OR HIM 24 hours a day.
I like my own space. I really do. I don't even invite him over more than once a week.
Now he has his whole family working on me to get me to move in. I don't want to, I've told him that and now they see it as their mission in life to bring me in. It's to the point where I don't want to see him anymore and just want to cut off all ties. The pressure is great and I'm afraid of givng in just to shut them all up!
What would you do?
He is your boyfriend?
In this case you have no commitment. Move on.
Get your own place and move on. I don't understand the reason why unless you are homeless or something. Even then I would never move into my wife's families home. EVER!!
My BF wants me to move into his family's home. Currently, it's his older parents (who WANT me to move in!), his son, the possibility of his younger children when they come to visit, and nieces and nephews who come to visit the grandparents. Excuse me, but this sounds like a circus to me and as much as I love his family I don't want to be with them OR HIM 24 hours a day.
I like my own space. I really do. I don't even invite him over more than once a week.
Now he has his whole family working on me to get me to move in. I don't want to, I've told him that and now they see it as their mission in life to bring me in. It's to the point where I don't want to see him anymore and just want to cut off all ties. The pressure is great and I'm afraid of givng in just to shut them all up!
What would you do?
Tell him in no uncertain terms that you will not surrender your independence and free, personal space, and tell him that if he keeps this up, you will reconsider the relationship.
I bet this man is not white, and not American-born; and, I also bet he is a from a traditional culture where adult parents meddling in their adult children's relationships is normal.
The simple fact that he is pressuring you to the point where you want to say yes, just to shut them up, is bad enough. He is showing controling tendencies. Not good for a long term relationship.
The fact that he is letting his family pressuring you to move in, means that he's spineless and doesn't really love you at all. Why can't he get his own place or at least try? Is your boy-friend a Mama's Boy? He could be abusive and his parents would commend him for slapping you around if you won't do what his parents or relatives tell you. Next thing, if you do move in, you'll say that his family is pressuring you to have a baby with your boyfriend or marry him.
Do NOT...move in. My 2 cents.
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...move in. My 2 cents.
