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Not a day passes by that I don't think of my ex. It's been almost a year now but everything I do (and whomever I may be seeing or flirting with) - it's like he's with me, occupying an invisible seat in between my date and I. I know what he'd think about my replies to someone else or how he'd rate a movie that I've just seen etc.
Before you jump to harsh conclusions, I'll defend myself saying I'm not delusional :P I can see the past's in the past AND my hope is that when someone will come along who I'll connect with as intensely as I did with him, this feeling will fade away.
Does it happen to someone else that - when what's currently going on in your love life does not satisfy you - you mentally go back to that comforting space and time when you were with someone you loved dearly ?
If yes, how do you avoid that this hideaway (is this what it is ?) gets in the way of shaping the future?
From personal experience to your situation, I think you need to spend some time coming to terms with things and on yourself verses looking for someone else to "take those feelings for him" away. That's what's known as 'baggage' and it can be quite the load for someone else to bear and may make you needy.
I don't think how you feel is abnormal, but you have to decide how long you'll pine away for this person while life and him moves on? I would seriously do some self esteem boosting activities or do good activites - just one thing new for yourself. Like a class or volunteering, just to change your pace and hopefully put a new perspective on things for you so you can go on into another relationship with a clean slate.
I agree with Thursday007. A new love will not wipe out the old. First, you must get past the old relationship. It's nearly like being in grief after a death. The relationship died and you must come to terms with it. Only after you have come to full acceptance will you be able to more on. It's very difficult but try to remember it's not fair to you or a new love to have the intrusion of the past love.
Take care of yourself.
I agree with the above posters, but that's not to say you shouldn't date. Just keep the relationships from getting too serious for awhile. Practice, practice, practice. It's a good time for lots of friendships.
I've never had problems getting over a "breakup", but my wife died suddenly several years ago. It's tough.
What was that movie's name? A woman had a blown-up picture of her ex on a cork board. As she experienced new things, she took pictures of them (travels, restaurants, books, movies, people) and pinned one after another over his ex's poster. Eventually, there was no his face left...
In short, time will heal.
If one wants to boost the healing process, generally the more extreme endeavors the faster the healing. Something like this (well, that's extreme, but an idea):
Trans World Expedition: Driving around the world - Yahoo! News (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap_travel/20091028/ap_tr_ge/travel_dispatches_driving_around_the_world_1&q=tra ns_world_expedition_the_year_of_living_dangerously - broken link)
Not a day passes by that I don't think of my ex. It's been almost a year now but everything I do (and whomever I may be seeing or flirting with) - it's like he's with me, occupying an invisible seat in between my date and I. I know what he'd think about my replies to someone else or how he'd rate a movie that I've just seen etc.
Before you jump to harsh conclusions, I'll defend myself saying I'm not delusional :P I can see the past's in the past AND my hope is that when someone will come along who I'll connect with as intensely as I did with him, this feeling will fade away.
Does it happen to someone else that - when what's currently going on in your love life does not satisfy you - you mentally go back to that comforting space and time when you were with someone you loved dearly ?
If yes, how do you avoid that this hideaway (is this what it is ?) gets in the way of shaping the future?
I have been where you are now. I know how hard it is. Little by little the wounds will heal. It takes time. Sometimes more time than other times. Somtimes a lifetime. It has been about 25 years for me and not a day goes by that I do not think about him at least once.
My heart goes out to you. But eventually you will find someone that will make you hurt less and maybe even forget him.
I think that's an indication of your not being ready to date.
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