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Without going into too many details: Starting law school soon. Put it off earlier but plan on starting next fall. Have a friend who is a judge. He told me his judicial assistant was fired, would I like to have her job? He said it would give me experience in the legal field, which I have no experience and have not worked a job in several years. He is very laid back, told me job was 8:30-4:30, but I could come in right before 9 and leave a bit after 4. Told me I could take a 90 min lunch (didnt specify when, but said often its 11:30-1). He really tried to sell me on the job. Asked to meet my husband, out of respect to him, which is something I did not understand but whatever, we all went to lunch. I accepted the position.
So I've been here for 5 weeks, and all of a sudden his personality changes. He has told me several times he and his wife do not get along and that he wishes they had things in common like my husband and I do. Last Friday he asked what my husband and I were doing over the weekend, I asked him what he and his wife were doing. He said, very sarcastically, oh our lives are boring, not like your life, you guys are going to Argentina, then Italy in a few months, then S.F., you have all these intl. trips and your life is so wonderful and exciting, mine is not. Well he repeated himelf over and over and was very sarcastic. Then he was short with me the rest of the day and was practically slamming doors.
Over the weekend he was supposed to get us a landscaper(we are new in town and need referrals), he emailed me twice, I called him but he never called back. Whatever, we found one on our own no big deal.
That was Friday. Yesterday (Monday) he comes in goes to his office, barks to me "Get Judge (name) phone number?" Then I start looking and within 20 seconds he yells, "I am waiting!" Very rude. Treats me this way all day. At one point starts loudly saying numbers to me, I just look at him blankly. He keeps saying these numbers, and then he yells, write it down! I'm like okay....and then he tells me to call his wife to tell her he will be late? I do it. So I email him while he is in the court room, do you need anything I will be leaving shortly, and he responds "Come get this paper and did you call my wife?" I email yes, I gave her the message. Thanks and your welcome.
Well ever since I said thanks and your welcome he has been emailing and calling me yelling at me that I am so unprofessional, that he has always been nice to me, that he took me and my husband out to eat and that he cannot believe I am so rude, sarcastic and unprofessional. He sent me emails today saying my work hours are 8:30-4:30 and that he knows I have been leaving early and thats not my hours. Hello! He told me before I was hired to come late and leave early (several times). I dont appreciate him yelling at me, being rude, changing the rules, and then making a big deal about the fact that he took my husband out to lunch and me twice.
He says I am being unrealistic expecting him to say please and thank you all the time, and that he will be terse and I should expect it. I told him my husband does not treat any of his staff that way, he always treats them with respect and politeness, and that is how I treat others and expect teh same. We decided to leave it until Thursday and talk then.
Am I being unrealistic in my expectations of being treated better since I have not worked in years? Was I wrong? Or is my position understandable and we are obviously a bad fit? Is he power tripping or why has he gone from friend to this all of a sudden?
Perhaps he was attracted to you when he offerd you the job, and when he finally realized that he didn't have a snowball's chance in hell, his attitude shifted towards you. He seems to have felt entitled in some way to some sort of "reward" or "appreciation", by the mere fact he mentioned taking you out to lunch and giving you this opportunity with very flexible hours and such in the beginning. I think he was attracted to you from the get go and is now showing his frustration and taking it out on you.
From my experience, this is what it sounds like, and you can probably expect even further bitterness from him as a result.
1. He has met my husband (a very fit, very smart doctor)
2. He never hit on me so where does the putting out come from?
3. Man, is he obese
Despite the things you've listed, he is a man, with the same desires as any other man. He's not immune from being delusional. He may not have hit on you, but perhaps was hoping you'd play a little more into his hand.
How close are you to him? Are you more of acquaintances than friends? Are you close enough to him where you can question him on his actions & behavior?
Or you can tell him you're resigning and see how responds to that? I don't think I would stay in that environment though if I didn't need to.
Perhaps he was attracted to you when he offerd you the job, and when he finally realized that he didn't have a snowball's chance in hell, his attitude shifted towards you. He seems to have felt entitled in some way to some sort of "reward" or "appreciation", by the mere fact he mentioned taking you out to lunch and giving you this opportunity with very flexible hours and such in the beginning. I think he was attracted to you from the get go and is now showing his frustration and taking it out on you.
From my experience, this is what it sounds like, and you can probably expect even further bitterness from him as a result.
I think you are right about the bitterness unfortunately.
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