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Old 05-03-2010, 11:39 AM
 
12 posts, read 7,919 times
Reputation: 14

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First time here, so i'd like to say hello :]


So my girlfriend and i have been dating for nearly a year and a half. About a month ago we broke up for a few days, she was feeling like i didnt appreciate her. I had no clue she was feeling this way because she never mentioned it. Anyway, we got back together on the terms that i would show my appreciation more and that we would work towards maintaining a healthy relationship.

I am 18 years old and she is 17. I just graduated from high school and i am going to college (staying at home freshman year, the school is only 30 minutes away). Since we've gotten back together, i feel like i "need" her more than ever. When we aren't talking I get paranoid and start feeling down. My emotions are going crazy. I'm thinking this is just because of stress because this isn't how i normally am.

Back to my question, i need some help. I'm not really sure how to maintain a healthy relationship. We've both started hanging out with our friends much more, we dont spend as much time together, and we talk about how we are feeling much more now. I just have this feeling of being really scared that she's going to leave me again. Blah idk. thanks in advance if anyone has any advice on this situation.
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Old 05-03-2010, 11:44 AM
 
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 20,007,791 times
Reputation: 9418
Quote:
Originally Posted by hello_gorgeous View Post
First time here, so i'd like to say hello :]


So my girlfriend and i have been dating for nearly a year and a half. About a month ago we broke up for a few days, she was feeling like i didnt appreciate her. I had no clue she was feeling this way because she never mentioned it. Anyway, we got back together on the terms that i would show my appreciation more and that we would work towards maintaining a healthy relationship.

I am 18 years old and she is 17. I just graduated from high school and i am going to college (staying at home freshman year, the school is only 30 minutes away). Since we've gotten back together, i feel like i "need" her more than ever. When we aren't talking I get paranoid and start feeling down. My emotions are going crazy. I'm thinking this is just because of stress because this isn't how i normally am.

Back to my question, i need some help. I'm not really sure how to maintain a healthy relationship. We've both started hanging out with our friends much more, we dont spend as much time together, and we talk about how we are feeling much more now. I just have this feeling of being really scared that she's going to leave me again. Blah idk. thanks in advance if anyone has any advice on this situation.

Wow. So young. But I knew what/who I wanted at 18 so I'm not nay-saying or anything. It's just that it's unusual to know at that age. But some people do, I know.

2nd bolded--life experience is the best teacher. Trial and error, live and learn. I hate to sound so cliche-ish but it really is true. Just relax and enjoy your youth and time together and don't forget to roll with the punches. Ack! I really am sorry for the cliches.
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Old 05-03-2010, 12:07 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,217 posts, read 100,739,056 times
Reputation: 40199
Quote:
Originally Posted by hello_gorgeous View Post
First time here, so i'd like to say hello :]


So my girlfriend and i have been dating for nearly a year and a half. About a month ago we broke up for a few days, she was feeling like i didnt appreciate her. I had no clue she was feeling this way because she never mentioned it. Anyway, we got back together on the terms that i would show my appreciation more and that we would work towards maintaining a healthy relationship.

I am 18 years old and she is 17. I just graduated from high school and i am going to college (staying at home freshman year, the school is only 30 minutes away). Since we've gotten back together, i feel like i "need" her more than ever. When we aren't talking I get paranoid and start feeling down. My emotions are going crazy. I'm thinking this is just because of stress because this isn't how i normally am.

Back to my question, i need some help. I'm not really sure how to maintain a healthy relationship. We've both started hanging out with our friends much more, we dont spend as much time together, and we talk about how we are feeling much more now. I just have this feeling of being really scared that she's going to leave me again. Blah idk. thanks in advance if anyone has any advice on this situation.
Honey, at your age you are like the baby bird teetering on the edge of its nest about to test its wings and learn to fly Looking down can scare the heck out that baby bird I'm sure! But after a while and lots of test runs the flying comes smooth as silk, and that's what will happen for you too

What you are feeling is normal - you almost lost the girl you love and you didn't even realize how close you came until it was almost too late. Don't beat yourself up over that - it happens.

As you gain more experience you'll get better and better at picking up on the clues a girl drops when things aren't quite right. But guess what? SOMETIMES, no matter how astute you are, you won't know your partner isn't happy with you or "feeling it" anymore. At times like that you might feel blindsided when they suddenly break up with you and nothing you say can change her mind. Again, it happens.

The best you can do is chalk every experience, good and bad, up to tuition in the school of life. Learn from everything and be conscious of not repeating mistakes.

You are now clinging too tightly to your girl because of how scared it made you to almost lose her. You are psyching yourself out and imagining that losing her would be the worst thing to ever happen to you. Guess what, it may be painful, but it would not be the worst thing to ever happen to you, okay?

You need to learn that for a relationship to be truly successful BOTH people have to want it. And the minute one person doesn't want it the other person needs to let them go. Do not ever waste a minute of your life wanting someone who does not want you. This is unrequited love and it will waste your time and keep you from finding other girls who DO want you.

With that in mind, continue in this relationship and give it the test of time. If she's "the one" then you have nothing to worry about losing.

If she is not "the one" then you have to tell yourself right now that that just means you have an even more awesome girl somewhere down the line in your future to look forward to meeting.

Best of luck, and remember, quit psyching yourself out!
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Old 05-03-2010, 12:20 PM
 
Location: Incognito
7,005 posts, read 21,338,885 times
Reputation: 5522
*sigh* I wish I were 18 again.
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Old 05-03-2010, 12:22 PM
 
Location: Tri-State Area
2,942 posts, read 6,008,116 times
Reputation: 1839
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
Honey, at your age you are like the baby bird teetering on the edge of its nest about to test its wings and learn to fly Looking down can scare the heck out that baby bird I'm sure! But after a while and lots of test runs the flying comes smooth as silk, and that's what will happen for you too

What you are feeling is normal - you almost lost the girl you love and you didn't even realize how close you came until it was almost too late. Don't beat yourself up over that - it happens.

As you gain more experience you'll get better and better at picking up on the clues a girl drops when things aren't quite right. But guess what? SOMETIMES, no matter how astute you are, you won't know your partner isn't happy with you or "feeling it" anymore. At times like that you might feel blindsided when they suddenly break up with you and nothing you say can change her mind. Again, it happens.

The best you can do is chalk every experience, good and bad, up to tuition in the school of life. Learn from everything and be conscious of not repeating mistakes.

You are now clinging too tightly to your girl because of how scared it made you to almost lose her. You are psyching yourself out and imagining that losing her would be the worst thing to ever happen to you. Guess what, it may be painful, but it would not be the worst thing to ever happen to you, okay?

You need to learn that for a relationship to be truly successful BOTH people have to want it. And the minute one person doesn't want it the other person needs to let them go. Do not ever waste a minute of your life wanting someone who does not want you. This is unrequited love and it will waste your time and keep you from finding other girls who DO want you.

With that in mind, continue in this relationship and give it the test of time. If she's "the one" then you have nothing to worry about losing.

If she is not "the one" then you have to tell yourself right now that that just means you have an even more awesome girl somewhere down the line in your future to look forward to meeting.

Best of luck, and remember, quit psyching yourself out!
Great advice! I'd rep you, but I can't rep you again.
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Old 05-03-2010, 12:30 PM
 
Location: In my skin
9,230 posts, read 16,548,469 times
Reputation: 9175
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
Honey, at your age you are like the baby bird teetering on the edge of its nest about to test its wings and learn to fly Looking down can scare the heck out that baby bird I'm sure! But after a while and lots of test runs the flying comes smooth as silk, and that's what will happen for you too

What you are feeling is normal - you almost lost the girl you love and you didn't even realize how close you came until it was almost too late. Don't beat yourself up over that - it happens.

As you gain more experience you'll get better and better at picking up on the clues a girl drops when things aren't quite right. But guess what? SOMETIMES, no matter how astute you are, you won't know your partner isn't happy with you or "feeling it" anymore. At times like that you might feel blindsided when they suddenly break up with you and nothing you say can change her mind. Again, it happens.

The best you can do is chalk every experience, good and bad, up to tuition in the school of life. Learn from everything and be conscious of not repeating mistakes.

You are now clinging too tightly to your girl because of how scared it made you to almost lose her. You are psyching yourself out and imagining that losing her would be the worst thing to ever happen to you. Guess what, it may be painful, but it would not be the worst thing to ever happen to you, okay?

You need to learn that for a relationship to be truly successful BOTH people have to want it. And the minute one person doesn't want it the other person needs to let them go. Do not ever waste a minute of your life wanting someone who does not want you. This is unrequited love and it will waste your time and keep you from finding other girls who DO want you.

With that in mind, continue in this relationship and give it the test of time. If she's "the one" then you have nothing to worry about losing.

If she is not "the one" then you have to tell yourself right now that that just means you have an even more awesome girl somewhere down the line in your future to look forward to meeting.

Best of luck, and remember, quit psyching yourself out!
Great advice. Ditto to this.
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Old 05-03-2010, 02:08 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,217 posts, read 100,739,056 times
Reputation: 40199
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.Cat View Post
*sigh* I wish I were 18 again.

I said this on a thread yesterday - you couldn't pay me to go back to it!!
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Old 05-03-2010, 02:12 PM
 
26,142 posts, read 31,189,782 times
Reputation: 27237
You're just getting to know yourself and your own likes and dislikes and they will change over these next few years a lot, so trying to throw knowing someone elses likes and dislikes into the mix, when theirs are at a time that will be changing a lot too is not that easy. If you are going to college and she is still in high school that's usually when there is a significant break up.
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Old 05-03-2010, 03:28 PM
 
367 posts, read 415,341 times
Reputation: 336
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesmountains View Post
honey, at your age you are like the baby bird teetering on the edge of its nest about to test its wings and learn to fly Looking down can scare the heck out that baby bird i'm sure! But after a while and lots of test runs the flying comes smooth as silk, and that's what will happen for you too

what you are feeling is normal - you almost lost the girl you love and you didn't even realize how close you came until it was almost too late. Don't beat yourself up over that - it happens.

As you gain more experience you'll get better and better at picking up on the clues a girl drops when things aren't quite right. But guess what? Sometimes, no matter how astute you are, you won't know your partner isn't happy with you or "feeling it" anymore. At times like that you might feel blindsided when they suddenly break up with you and nothing you say can change her mind. Again, it happens.

The best you can do is chalk every experience, good and bad, up to tuition in the school of life. Learn from everything and be conscious of not repeating mistakes.

You are now clinging too tightly to your girl because of how scared it made you to almost lose her. You are psyching yourself out and imagining that losing her would be the worst thing to ever happen to you. Guess what, it may be painful, but it would not be the worst thing to ever happen to you, okay?

You need to learn that for a relationship to be truly successful both people have to want it. And the minute one person doesn't want it the other person needs to let them go. Do not ever waste a minute of your life wanting someone who does not want you. This is unrequited love and it will waste your time and keep you from finding other girls who do want you.

With that in mind, continue in this relationship and give it the test of time. If she's "the one" then you have nothing to worry about losing.

If she is not "the one" then you have to tell yourself right now that that just means you have an even more awesome girl somewhere down the line in your future to look forward to meeting.

Best of luck, and remember, quit psyching yourself out!
great advice!!
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Old 05-04-2010, 03:47 AM
 
3,393 posts, read 5,280,058 times
Reputation: 3031
Quote:
Originally Posted by hello_gorgeous View Post
First time here, so i'd like to say hello :]


So my girlfriend and i have been dating for nearly a year and a half. About a month ago we broke up for a few days, she was feeling like i didnt appreciate her. I had no clue she was feeling this way because she never mentioned it. Anyway, we got back together on the terms that i would show my appreciation more and that we would work towards maintaining a healthy relationship.

I am 18 years old and she is 17. I just graduated from high school and i am going to college (staying at home freshman year, the school is only 30 minutes away). Since we've gotten back together, i feel like i "need" her more than ever. When we aren't talking I get paranoid and start feeling down. My emotions are going crazy. I'm thinking this is just because of stress because this isn't how i normally am.

Back to my question, i need some help. I'm not really sure how to maintain a healthy relationship. We've both started hanging out with our friends much more, we dont spend as much time together, and we talk about how we are feeling much more now. I just have this feeling of being really scared that she's going to leave me again. Blah idk. thanks in advance if anyone has any advice on this situation.
I think you are experiencing "puppy love." That's the reason your emotions are going crazy and you don't know how to handle those emotions. She's very young and hasn't experienced much. In my OPINION, it would be a mistake to be that serious, so early in life. If she offered to run off and marry you tomorrow, could you handle that? Wht if she becomes pregnant? Personally, I wouldn't torture myself, the way things are now, especially through 4 years of college life.
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