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Well first off....calling someone a LOSER just because they have trouble in dating isn't cool. That is one of the problems in today's society...people place too much of other people's worth on their ability to get dates and having sex.
I do agree that most of the things listed in the OP can cause ANYBODY to fail at dating. It's not really gender specific. The same goes for people blaming other PEOPLE for their own actions. It's more of an individual issue really when you really think about it. It shows a lack of maturity if someone refuses to take responsibility for themselves.
If people want to be alone cool, no one should judge them for that, same goes for those who want to be in a relationship. It's no one else's business unless the person is sitting around constantly complaining about it, and not really doing anything to change it. Or if they ask for advice on it. It shouldn't be something someone should just put out there for others to know.
Well first off....calling someone a LOSER just because they have trouble in dating isn't cool. That is one of the problems in today's society...people place too much of other people's worth on their ability to get dates and having sex.
I do agree that most of things listed here can cause ANYBODY to fail at dating. It's not really gender specific. The same goes for people blaming other PEOPLE for their own actions. It's more of an individual issue really when you really think about it. It's a sign of lack of maturity.
If people want to be alone cool, no one should judge them for that, same goes for those who want to be in a relationship.
As with many things you post, this should be a sticky.
As with many things you post, this should be a sticky.
Carbon,
I really wonder sometimes where in the world such concepts come from. Is it a really legitimate thing/issue in other people's eyes, is it a result of general insecurity, or are folks just....bored?
I really wonder sometimes where in the world such concepts come from. Is it a really legitimate thing/issue in other people's eyes, is it a sign of insecurity, or are folks just....bored?
Or could be all of the above?
I have no idea. Where I come from, rural northeast PA, women are kind of treated like they need to "have a man" or else they are nothing. Then they end up divorced by 30. I know multiple people from my high school class who are on their second or third divorce. I'm not putting down people who have divorced, because mistakes happen, but in this particular case it's often because they settled in order not to be alone.
Meanwhile, I know of a couple of women who did not go by this and yet "somehow" have managed to go on and live fulfilling lives! They aren't losers by any means; they just have different priorities.
I think the mentality is changing, but slowly. It's definitely different in more urban and progressive areas.
Well first off....calling someone a LOSER just because they have trouble in dating isn't cool. That is one of the problems in today's society...people place too much of other people's worth on their ability to get dates and having sex.
I do agree that most of the things listed in the OP can cause ANYBODY to fail at dating. It's not really gender specific. The same goes for people blaming other PEOPLE for their own actions. It's more of an individual issue really when you really think about it. It shows a lack of maturity if someone refuses to take responsibility for themselves.
If people want to be alone cool, no one should judge them for that, same goes for those who want to be in a relationship. It's no one else's business unless the person is sitting around constantly complaining about it, and not really doing anything to change it. Or if they ask for advice on it. It shouldn't be something someone should just put out there for others to know.
I have no idea. Where I come from, rural northeast PA, women are kind of treated like they need to "have a man" or else they are nothing. Then they end up divorced by 30. I know multiple people from my high school class who are on their second or third divorce. I'm not putting down people who have divorced, because mistakes happen, but in this particular case it's often because they settled in order not to be alone.
Meanwhile, I know of a couple of women who did not go by this and yet "somehow" have managed to go on and live fulfilling lives! They aren't losers by any means; they just have different priorities.
I think the mentality is changing, but slowly. It's definitely different in more urban and progressive areas.
Makes sense.
I live in a really rural area in the south.
A conversation with friends and family always consists of sex and dating, and I am almost always the target for those questions. It's sort of traditional where I am from. They have due dates for everything and if you have met the deadline most of the people will question your sexuality and your mental status.
But I believe you are right, it is SLOWLY and I mean SLOWLY changing.
A few months ago before I met Des I went on a couple dates with a Trauma Nurse from Vail, I didn't answer her texts the day after our second date. I left my phone at home while I was at work, she was an attractive, seemingly normal person.
Or so I thought.. I got home and had 16 text messages, the last 5 telling me what a terrible person I am for not responding to her. I would've responded to her after work if she only sent 1 or 2 nice messages. I never did though, she was obviously bat-**** crazy. I just blocked her and I really hope she's not working if I ever get hurt at the resort. Haha.
I think my main problem with dating before I figured it out was just not being assertive enough. Not closing the deal and being to timid. Could've been I was because I was a thin lanky guy too, I look a lot better now. Now when I date I always talk allot and make sure to make physical contact - touching their back as you walk through a door, touching them when we talk on the shoulder or something.. It seems to help for some reason. Lol.
I have no idea. Where I come from, rural northeast PA, women are kind of treated like they need to "have a man" or else they are nothing. Then they end up divorced by 30. I know multiple people from my high school class who are on their second or third divorce. I'm not putting down people who have divorced, because mistakes happen, but in this particular case it's often because they settled in order not to be alone.
Meanwhile, I know of a couple of women who did not go by this and yet "somehow" have managed to go on and live fulfilling lives! They aren't losers by any means; they just have different priorities.
I think the mentality is changing, but slowly. It's definitely different in more urban and progressive areas.
This is Oklahoma to a "T"!! Sad, isn't it. A woman is more than a wedding ring and a set of boobs-much more. But some places still never got that memo!
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