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This guy who I’ve known for a very long time but fell out of contact with got back in touch around Oct. He told me that he was single and tbh the person I knew from a long time ago was extremely honest. He asked me out and I finally agreed. 2 days ago I flicking around social media I had noticed he had mentioned his ex in a post of a celebrity that we both followed so it came up on the homepage and this was around 10 weeks ago. Around 10 weeks ago was Jan and he would have been begging me for a date.
i called him out on it saying did you get back with her after you told me that you broke up. He asked why am I assuming sh*t and the answer was no. That he is allowed to be friends with whoever he wants. I’m all for having friends of the opposite sex but she is a ex not just a friend. So after me snapped at me I just told him bye. To me this isn’t normal behaviour but I have one friend saying we weren’t officially together so he can do what he wants but another friend who said we have such history and he knew that it would hurt me to see stuff like that.
I remained friends with all but one of ex-girlfriends. My wife became friends with three of my old girlfriends, including my first love who only lived two blocks away. Friends as in they would hang out together, go do girl things together, girls night out...which I totally dreaded as they would have a few drinks and when they came home they would all gang up on me (and not in the male fantasy way) and when they left I would have to hear how could I do XYZ to ABC, she loved me and was such a sweet girl and I broke her heart, etc, bad GhostOfAndrewJackson, bad man, bad, very bad.
My point is people are exs for a reason and the issue is with your insecurity. My wife never had an issue with my exs, heck our kids ended playing together and one of my sons dated on of my ex-girlfriends daughters. What is normal is, if a man found woman A interesting, and then it does not work out, when he finds a woman B interesting that woman A and woman B probably have a lot of things in common and likely would become friends sans the man they have in common. What is unhealthy and immature is for the two sexes to go around and treat their exs like the devil and for the new interest in their life to have a hate on for their ex.
Mature adults can part company amicably and remain friends. I would be insulted if an ex of mine did not feel she could come to me for advice or assistance in most any matter of life.
I remained friends with all but one of ex-girlfriends. My wife became friends with three of my old girlfriends, including my first love who only lived two blocks away. Friends as in they would hang out together, go do girl things together, girls night out...which I totally dreaded as they would have a few drinks and when they came home they would all gang up on me (and not in the male fantasy way) and when they left I would have to hear how I could do XYZ to ABC, she loved me and was such a sweet girl and I broke her heart, etc, bad GhostOfAndrewJackson, bad man.
My point is people are exs for a reason and the issue is with your insecurity. My wife never had an issue with my exs, heck our kids ended playing together and one of my sons dated on of my ex-girlfriends daughters. What is normal is, if a man founded woman A interesting, and then it does not work out, when he finds a woman B interesting that woman A and woman B probably have a lot of things in common and likely would become friends sans the man they have in common. What is abnormal and immature is for the two sexes to go around and treat their exs like the devil and for the new interest in their life to have a hate on for their ex.
Mature adults can part company amicably and remain friends. I would be insulted if an ex of mine did not feel she could come to me for advice or assistance in most any matter of life.
I’ve had great break ups but I don’t want to be there friend. They’re in my past where they belong. It’s not even the friendship it’s how angry he got. I should be able to ask him anything without him gaslighting me and calling me a ‘psycho’ . If he questioned me about anyone on my social media I’d give him the full story. And I don’t agree with staying friends with your ex’s, yeah some of them where great people and the next girl will be very lucky but I don’t need them I already have friends.
Ehhhhh...I’m a spiteful person, so I tend towards the idea that an ex as a friend is, to be generous, questionable.
Still, take him at his word, being mindful that this could be a totally transparent admission, or not. Don’t jam him up over ever little thing, if you’re interested, try it out. If this shuts you down as hard as you imply, then acquire some new dates.
What platform is this where a comment from 10 weeks ago showed up on your homepage?
Was Instagram homepage. We both follow this celebrity and would like their posts regularly. So on my homepage this celebrities posts would come up and the one I clicked on was from 10 weeks ago and because I was friends with him I could see that he tagged his ex.
i called him out on it saying did you get back with her after you told me that you broke up. He asked why am I assuming sh*t and the answer was no. That he is allowed to be friends with whoever he wants. I’m all for having friends of the opposite sex but she is a ex not just a friend. So after me snapped at me I just told him bye. To me this isn’t normal behaviour but I have one friend saying we weren’t officially together so he can do what he wants but another friend who said we have such history and he knew that it would hurt me to see stuff like that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pizzaisnybae
I’ve had great break ups but I don’t want to be there friend. They’re in my past where they belong. It’s not even the friendship it’s how angry he got. I should be able to ask him anything without him gaslighting me and calling me a ‘psycho’ . If he questioned me about anyone on my social media I’d give him the full story.
You're right that this is not about him being friends with his ex, it's more about how you said he got so angry, called you a psycho, just because you asked a simple question.
Ehhhhh...I’m a spiteful person, so I tend towards the idea that an ex as a friend is, to be generous, questionable.
Still, take him at his word, being mindful that this could be a totally transparent admission, or not. Don’t jam him up over ever little thing, if you’re interested, try it out. If this shuts you down as hard as you imply, then acquire some new dates.
I dated him 5 years ago so me talking to him again was a big deal and I was doing everything to make it go smoothly just feels like a kick in the face because he knows this kinda thing annoys me. Ex’s are not friends nothing will ever change my mind about that.
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