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Ok I did ask for advice, and you all are most likely right, ok, I will try...If I blow this its my fault but I'll be ok with it, I sorta figure at least I'm ok with it and all my friends even though I don't know what the hell I'm doing.
To put it crudely, it's like buying a car. They have to know which car you are interested in, but never show too much interest or you are most likely going to get screwed.
Well, if you look for ways to blow it, these pictures you plastered definitely can do it! I'd advise you to take them down while you can still edit the posts!
Ok I did ask for advice, and you all are most likely right, ok, I will try...If I blow this its my fault but I'll be ok with it, I sorta figure at least I'm ok with it and all my friends even though I don't know what the hell I'm doing.
Be careful of showing so much emotion to someone you just met. There are alot of cruel/psycho people out there and I would hate to see you get your feelings hurt so soon. Take a step back and by all means, take your time. You just got out of a long relationship and of course, something new can be refreshing. Be careful and don't put all your cards on the table so soon.
I started over after a 35 year marriage with literally no experience at all. Hell, I was practically a virgin. I did more than OK. Wonderful as a matter of fact. I learned my worries about being alone or stuck in another worse than alone terrible relationship were groundless. There are great people out in this world. We do deserve to be loved and share our lives with others.
However, we are both vulnerable because of our lack of experience. We can be taken advantage of. Take it slow and don't make big commitments for quite a while. Enjoy being an independent autonomous person and learn about yourself too. Do your own laundry, shop, cook, and learn what you like. Learn to have fun again. Don't be too quick to shut yourself up in another box.
If your new important person is what she says she is, she will understand you need some time to figure out this new world. And learn to walk in your own shoes again.
Yellowsnow, there are probably a lot of things about myself that I may look at and want to change but trust isn't one of them, its ok though because if someone I believe in lets me down, hey they shine compared to a 30 year relationship. I have this beat. I like the people on here and a lot of those around me where I live....I'm a lucky guy
Enjoy - but keep your eyes open!
Try to remember you are not kids - keep an eye on your goal and try to be sure your goal is the same as hers. Communicate!!!!!
Best wishes
Uh BVA, I hate to break this to you, but it's the old rebound. It's so much less painful thinking about someone new than it is going thru the painful process of healing after the breakup of a long marriage. Ask me how I know that.
My story: my 23 year marriage broke up quite suddenly last Dec. 28, and I was like, "Whee, i get to date again. " I went on a few and got bowled over by a couple of them too, and even got hurt a bit, but I realized pretty quickly that I have to heal first and that I was not ready. Now it's a year later and I'm still healing, and when I get back out again, I will be ready, but that may be another year. I realized later that I was just distracting myself from the pain and when it finally hit it was bad and unexpected because I thought I was doing so well. Here's the thing--even if you thought you didn't love your wife, you still have to heal, because you will have some attachment bonds to break.
Well I realize that I'm spitting in the wind, because you will do what you feel you need to do, and later may realize that it's a mistake, but right now I doubt you can even stop yourself. I knew it was stupid when I was trying to date, but nothing would have stopped me b/c it's almost a compulsion. Anyway, hang in there and come back to us when you need to cry on our shoulder.
Uh BVA, I hate to break this to you, but it's the old rebound. It's so much less painful thinking about someone new than it is going thru the painful process of healing after the breakup of a long marriage. Ask me how I know that.
My story: my 23 year marriage broke up quite suddenly last Dec. 28, and I was like, "Whee, i get to date again. " I went on a few and got bowled over by a couple of them too, and even got hurt a bit, but I realized pretty quickly that I have to heal first and that I was not ready. Now it's a year later and I'm still healing, and when I get back out again, I will be ready, but that may be another year. I realized later that I was just distracting myself from the pain and when it finally hit it was bad and unexpected because I thought I was doing so well. Here's the thing--even if you thought you didn't love your wife, you still have to heal, because you will have some attachment bonds to break.
Well I realize that I'm spitting in the wind, because you will do what you feel you need to do, and later may realize that it's a mistake, but right now I doubt you can even stop yourself. I knew it was stupid when I was trying to date, but nothing would have stopped me b/c it's almost a compulsion. Anyway, hang in there and come back to us when you need to cry on our shoulder.
I may just do that and thanks for that option. I don't relish dating, I'm 51 and I thought instead of thinking I'll trade in my clunker on something streemlined, I'll polish her up a bit, maybe look at her with respect. think of the glory years but hold dear what she gave up for me. But in the end, it was just me all along, only my thoughts on the matter.
So anyways yes I may come back for a group hug.
Thanks all!
If someone was describing me with 'big you know whats' on a board I'd be a bit offended...is that bit of info to get the guys here jealous? Just curious. Good luck in your relationship!
PS I ha
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