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It sounds like he's pining over her and she's trying to give him the brush off, JMO.
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It sounds to me that if given the chance by this woman, he would be up for having an affair. She doesn't seem to be overly enthusiastic, so maybe he's taking things more seriously than she is.
I would agree it's time for a talk, and don't let him just brush it off either, try to read between the lines. Calling someone beautiful isn't the end of the world, but every thing that led up to it sounded pretty serious to me.
Last edited by mrstewart; 01-12-2010 at 09:02 AM..
Reason: referencing a deleted post
Men don't emotionally expose themselves to a woman that they have not consumated a relationship with. That sounds way too familiar to be innocent and I think there has been some sort of physical intimacy.
Lets look at the depth of this. Obviously, for some reason, you have been suspicios of your Man for some time, or you would not have had to resolve to go behind his back and sneak a look at his cell phone.
There are underlying issues, far deeper and it would be good for you to look in the mirror and assess your relationship with him.
What have you/he been doing/not been doing that has promoted this feeling of your need to sneak behind his back?
Communication is the key.
There seems to be a strong lack of communication from each side. 23 years is a long time and after such a period one gets to "know" the sentiments, feelings, change in behaviour, attitudes and aptitudes towards the other half.
How long has this been going on?
He is overstepping boundaries, workwise, but having this sort of communication with a lower level employee, unless he is a couselor/work therapist/ staff advisor or in Human relations.
Maybe it can be concern for an employee that has come to him with problems (as we all know the economy and way-of-life has changes considerably in the last year) on a more humane level because of his excellent manner of treating people, his communication skills in the office with staff, and the need for this lady "friend" to get some male input into her life.
It just happens sometimes. Counsel wth someone you know you can trust, who will guide you to making the right decisions.
.....and maybe this is the way, by indicating she is "beautiful" may be meaning not only physically but "capable, caring, responsible, motherly etc" for trying her best to support her kids through a tight situation.
"She" may just need a friend, a confidant, and someone to guide her through a tough time.
"She" could have gone to a therapist or an advisor, but that may be too impersonal.
If I ran across this email from my husband to another woman I would be highly suspicious because my husband would NEVER talk to anyone that way unless he had an intimate relationship with them...there is no way he would talk to a co worker this way.
You have several options to pursue but you need to decide which one is best for you and what you are able to handle.
If I ran across this email from my husband to another woman I would be highly suspicious because my husband would NEVER talk to anyone that way unless he had an intimate relationship with them...there is no way he would talk to a co worker this way.
You have several options to pursue but you need to decide which one is best for you and what you are able to handle.
I'm not sure what to do, yes I'm highly suspicious, but I'm not sure I should say anything if it's nothing or if it's over with her.
IMO, the whole thing sounds "coded" so that even if you did catch wind of something, it's difficult to figure out.
But, all the other commenters have given good viewpoints. If it were me, I'd have to have the eye to eye "what's up with this woman" talk. I agree with what's been said about the intimacy factor & it's not like it's his best woman friend from grade school, high school, college etc. that you would be well aware of re: this "connection."
I'm not sure what to do, yes I'm highly suspicious, but I'm not sure I should say anything if it's nothing or if it's over with her.
You can't be serious!?!?! If you dont say anything this marriage of yours will continue to eat away at you and you will never know what this woman means to your husband. I mean if your ok with feeling that way to make it appear that you have a happy healthy marriage then by all means go for it if thats what makes you feel better.
I'm in shock that any woman would rather feel miserable and sit in the dark not knowing what her husband is or isnt doing with a woman who you dont know.
What would you tell your daughter to do if she were in this situation? (assuming you have a daughter if not imagine so). Would you tell her to just forget about it? Or would you tell her that she needs to be a strong woman and talk to her husband?
I mean what is marriage even worth if you cant communicate?
Again this whole things could be NOTHING! Wouldn't you want to know that its nothing rather then always thinking "it could be something."
I'll tell you what's becoming highly suspicious: This thread.
I can't put my finger on it but there's something familiar about this answer/question/answer/denial/answer/insecurity pattern I see emerging.
New poster... pattern...
I swear, I haven't been here all that long but this reminds me of someone I made fun of some moons ago.
could it be the "work spouse"?
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If you dont say anything this marriage of yours will continue to eat away at you and you will never know what this woman means to your husband. I mean if your ok with feeling that way to make it appear that you have a happy healthy marriage then by all means go for it if thats what makes you feel better. 
