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I have been with a girl for a little over 5 years now. We were basically high school sweethearts with a little over 3 years apart age wise. Our relationship has had its ups and downs like any normal relationship. We basically grew together as a relationship but we really never spent a whole lot of time together due to her strict parents.
I would hang out alot with my friends in the beginning because she wasnt allowed out and i would go to clubs, carclubs etc. Within the last past year we would break up and get back together and now that she is old enough to go out to the clubs, and has so many friends from college its like she is pushing me away from her. Its almost like she wants to be with her friends all the time and I come last even though I always put her first. I only see her 2 times a week for a few hours, like before, but its gets to the point where I dont even see her at all.
I have been a real good boyfriend to her. I treat her right, Love her and I do everything to try and make her happy. All of her friends tell her she's very lucky to have someone like me and so does her parents. The only rule that she has is that she cant dance with guys closely(BASIC RULE). Thats the only rule and she can totally do what she pleases. She has always seemed like she has loved me and wanted to be together but recently she has been worrying about her future and our future as a relationship. She says she doesnt want to think about marriage or kids but I havent pressured her about it and isnt sure what she wants to pursue for a career.
I really love this girl alot and I have always been there for her whenever shes needed me but It hurts me because I feel as if I havent done anything wrong for her to end the relationship and when I try to talk to her to improve things she tells me not to pressure her and its impossible but yet when we broke up she told me that I would always come before any other man and that she would cheat on them with me, and she would always be there for me no matter what. But im thinking, why cant u just treat me like your boyfriend while we are together? I think she just wants to be single but then its like she has no rules, so she just wants to leave me to do the same things shes doing now? Is it a phase? I just dont know what to do now.
We have done so many things together and its like she wants to throw it all away.
I have been with a girl for a little over 5 years now. We were basically high school sweethearts with a little over 3 years apart age wise. Our relationship has had its ups and downs like any normal relationship. We basically grew together as a relationship but we really never spent a whole lot of time together due to her strict parents.
I would hang out alot with my friends in the beginning because she wasnt allowed out and i would go to clubs, carclubs etc. Within the last past year we would break up and get back together and now that she is old enough to go out to the clubs, and has so many friends from college its like she is pushing me away from her. Its almost like she wants to be with her friends all the time and I come last even though I always put her first. I only see her 2 times a week for a few hours, like before, but its gets to the point where I dont even see her at all.
I have been a real good boyfriend to her. I treat her right, Love her and I do everything to try and make her happy. All of her friends tell her she's very lucky to have someone like me and so does her parents. The only rule that she has is that she cant dance with guys closely(BASIC RULE). Thats the only rule and she can totally do what she pleases. She has always seemed like she has loved me and wanted to be together but recently she has been worrying about her future and our future as a relationship. She says she doesnt want to think about marriage or kids but I havent pressured her about it and isnt sure what she wants to pursue for a career.
I really love this girl alot and I have always been there for her whenever shes needed me but It hurts me because I feel as if I havent done anything wrong for her to end the relationship and when I try to talk to her to improve things she tells me not to pressure her and its impossible but yet when we broke up she told me that I would always come before any other man and that she would cheat on them with me, and she would always be there for me no matter what. But im thinking, why cant u just do that while we are together? I think she just wants to be single but then its like she has no rules, so she just wants to leave me to do the same things shes doing now? Is it a phase? I just dont know what to do now.
We have done so many things together and its like she wants to throw it all away.
Honey, what is happening in your relationship is perfectly normal. At this point, she probably just wants to spread her wings a bit and try living life with a little more freedom, not be tied down to one guy.
You haven't done anything wrong - and you do sound like you've been a good boyfriend, but this was your first relationship, NOT your last one. It sounds like it's just time to move on and end it while you are still friends. Sorry.
She's in college; she has plans for herself. You don't say if you're in college, too, but it seems to me as if you're clinging to the high school sweetheart bit and she clearly is not. She's moving on with her life.
She is a woman who sees a wide and bright future for herself and she needs to explore that.
She's in college; she has plans for herself. You don't say if you're in college, too, but it seems to me as if you're clinging to the high school sweetheart bit and she clearly is not. She's moving on with her life.
She is a woman who sees a wide and bright future for herself and she needs to explore that.
Im not using that as a reason to stay with her but im saying it because we were together since high school.
I have registered for college recently after learning a trade for 4 years and I plan on openeing my own business after I graduate.
You haven't done anything wrong. She is moving into the stage of her life where she's going to get a lot of attention from men. You can't hold on to her during this phase. You need to move on and be the best manwhore you can be.
Here's the thing, you are dating her at the precise time she is changing. The people you are now are not the people you were five years ago and you just might not be compatible anymore. I'm 25 now and I have seen a lot of my friends break up with high school boyfriends in the last two years because they have changed so much since they started dating. These were couples I thought would get married.
Have a long talk with your girlfriend and be willing to accept the fact that she may not want to be with you anymore. I look back on a lot of my old boyfriends and I know that the person I am now would not even look twice at most of them. She probably still cares about you, but her goals and interests may have changed so much that she no longer sees a future with you. She may still want to keep going with you, but you must accept the fact that she is exploring a world that you are only a small part of.
It's not the end of the world. Heartbreak happens but you can get over it and you can find a woman who can share your life because your lives will be going in the same direction.
I have been with a girl for a little over 5 years now. We were basically high school sweethearts with a little over 3 years apart age wise. Our relationship has had its ups and downs like any normal relationship. We basically grew together as a relationship but we really never spent a whole lot of time together due to her strict parents.
I would hang out alot with my friends in the beginning because she wasnt allowed out and i would go to clubs, carclubs etc. Within the last past year we would break up and get back together and now that she is old enough to go out to the clubs, and has so many friends from college its like she is pushing me away from her. Its almost like she wants to be with her friends all the time and I come last even though I always put her first. I only see her 2 times a week for a few hours, like before, but its gets to the point where I dont even see her at all.
I have been a real good boyfriend to her. I treat her right, Love her and I do everything to try and make her happy. All of her friends tell her she's very lucky to have someone like me and so does her parents. The only rule that she has is that she cant dance with guys closely(BASIC RULE). Thats the only rule and she can totally do what she pleases. She has always seemed like she has loved me and wanted to be together but recently she has been worrying about her future and our future as a relationship. She says she doesnt want to think about marriage or kids but I havent pressured her about it and isnt sure what she wants to pursue for a career.
I really love this girl alot and I have always been there for her whenever shes needed me but It hurts me because I feel as if I havent done anything wrong for her to end the relationship and when I try to talk to her to improve things she tells me not to pressure her and its impossible but yet when we broke up she told me that I would always come before any other man and that she would cheat on them with me, and she would always be there for me no matter what. But im thinking, why cant u just treat me like your boyfriend while we are together? I think she just wants to be single but then its like she has no rules, so she just wants to leave me to do the same things shes doing now? Is it a phase? I just dont know what to do now.
We have done so many things together and its like she wants to throw it all away.
You are a victim of the classic turn 21 and party nonstop phase. Woman and men who get married before they are 21 usually always go through this phase while they are together or after they get divorced. That is why you see so many of them out when they should have outgrown it? I went through it also but after a few years got bored and quit. Most people do the same?
You are a victim of the classic turn 21 and party nonstop phase. Woman and men who get married before they are 21 usually always go through this phase while they are together or after they get divorced. That is why you see so many of them out when they should have outgrown it? I went through it also but after a few years got bored and quit. Most people do the same?
She wants to live a single life but benefit from a good, caring relationship. She cant have the best of both worlds. I really think she is going through a phase and eventually shes gonna realize that all the friends and partying really didnt gain her anything good. I really want the best for her but im just gonna have to let her do her thing and if im still available after she gets her ***** together then i might consider. Thanks everyone for the input.
Lesson #1. When a woman (or man) makes statements like what you mentioned, you need to listen and pay attention. If you force her into something that she clearly isn't ready for, you will get married and end up in divorce court sooner than you think.
If on the other hand you take a breather and allow her to grow some on a personal level, let her experience life a little on her own, she will learn that you were a good match and she'll come back into a healthier relationship and better for you both.
Just try to back off a bit and stop talking about the marriage, etc. She is telling you she's not ready. Listen.
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