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Since your date was Friday, and you didn't call until Sunday, the message you sent was: "you weren't important enough for me to get to until the weekend was almost over."
Wow, sounds like a few of you see it this way. I guess I didn't realize I was coming off that way by calling Sunday, I just figured I was giving her time as she said she was busy.
If in fact I gave the impression that she wasn't important enough to me and I waited too long to call, how does one turn that around?
Should I wait a day or two and call her again? I used to chase a lot when I was younger and I've been good about teaching myself not to be a creep. Would calling again show her I am in fact interested? Because I am, and I guess I'm not afraid to let her know it.
It was Friday night that we went out, I offered to walk her home and she accepted (it's chicago, I always offer for safety reasons). During the walk I asked her what her plans were for the weekend, she told me and she sounded busy. She asked me what I was doing and I told her some of my plans. She hugged me goodnight, and I said "Is it ok if I give you a call this weekend?" and she said yeah. I guess I didn't try to lead on that I meant to set up a date for the weekend, she was pretty busy, I don't think she took it that way.
The only reason I feel it went well is I've been on a lot of first dates and I felt like this one went extremely smooth compared to most others I've been on. We had good conversation the whole time, she was shy at first but opened up pretty well. I made her laugh several times, and she even let on to me that I was the most "normal" guy she's talked to/emailed so far from the website, and that all others were weirdos.
I'm not a genius, but I took a lot of those as buying signals. No call back that night tells me she's not interested, or maybe she's playing the waiting game.
Some women friends say she was maybe just busy or didn't have time to chat on the phone.
I don't know, but it would be a tough loss if she doesn't call me back. That's why I want to move on quickly if I'm out of the game.
Okay, that clarifies things. I don't think she should have expected a call to set up a date that weekend, because you both sounded busy.
But for whatever reason, she does sound disinterested. I'm sorry.
Correct me if I'm wrong, because I mess up my time zones all the time, but isn't it only Monday morning over there? If you called Sunday afternoon, then I would not write off her interest quite yet. After all, it hasn't been a day. There are lots of reasons she could have been online last night, I'm not sure what online (MSN or the like? Something else?) you were both doing last night, but just because she was doing it and not calling you doesn't mean lack of interest.
If you have not heard from her by tomorrow, then yes, I'd guess she isn't interested.
Wow, sounds like a few of you see it this way. I guess I didn't realize I was coming off that way by calling Sunday, I just figured I was giving her time as she said she was busy.
If in fact I gave the impression that she wasn't important enough to me and I waited too long to call, how does one turn that around?
Should I wait a day or two and call her again? I used to chase a lot when I was younger and I've been good about teaching myself not to be a creep. Would calling again show her I am in fact interested? Because I am, and I guess I'm not afraid to let her know it.
dont call again dude. she knows you called. if she wants to get back to you she will.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TKramar
You could always try calling again. Nothing to lose, really.
The only way to turn it around is with the truth: Call her and tell her you thought you were being considerate by waiting to call over the weekend since she said she was busy. You now realize that by calling when you did, you may have given her the impression that you weren't interested or playing games. You really like her and would love to see her again, but if you blew it you understan and wish her ther best.
Then next time when you ask if you can call, ask when would be good for her.
Correct me if I'm wrong, because I mess up my time zones all the time, but isn't it only Monday morning over there? If you called Sunday afternoon, then I would not write off her interest quite yet. After all, it hasn't been a day. There are lots of reasons she could have been online last night, I'm not sure what online (MSN or the like? Something else?) you were both doing last night, but just because she was doing it and not calling you doesn't mean lack of interest.
If you have not heard from her by tomorrow, then yes, I'd guess she isn't interested.
Oh boy. You are going to have a hard time. It's Wednesday afternoon over here.
dont call again dude. she knows you called. if she wants to get back to you she will.
this is bad advice
I agree with you, but I've always played this approach and it's not getting me anywhere. I know the reasoning behind it is so that you don't get emotionally invested thus setting yourself up for heartbreak.
However, I'm realistic, and I'm willing to eff with this situation a little just to see what happens. If she doesn't call me back in a couple days then maybe I will shoot her a text and be on the level. Somewhere along the lines of "hey I really enjoyed meeting you, are you up for getting together again. If not just let me know and I'll understand."
like someone else said I have nothing to lose, including my pride. My pride is too well protected at this stage in my life, I'll be ok.
Since your date was Friday, and you didn't call until Sunday, the message you sent was: "you weren't important enough for me to get to until the weekend was almost over."
Yes, from what you wrote, she was interested, but you sent the message you weren't.
waiting 1 day to call says you're not interested??? he just met the girl. nothing wrong with having plans for the next day already. she aint priority in his life
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