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You might consider checking out websites with tips and tricks for journalists doing interviews. I know a guy who is fairly normal looking, albeit in better than average shape for his age (47 I think), who just plain draws people to him. He was a journalist in the past and I think he uses the same methods in his social life. He is excellent at engaging and keeping people in conversations mostly by paying close attention and asking questions that draw the conversation out naturally into deeper territory. His manner also puts you very at ease, which I suspect also comes from the journalist background.
It may not help, but it might be another angle/perspective to pursue
Oh really? Well, in that case maybe you can speak with him about this and ask what he did to become more attractive. It would be interesting to hear it.
Oh really? Well, in that case maybe you can speak with him about this and ask what he did to become more attractive. It would be interesting to hear it.
It's an offshoot of the "if you want a good friend, be a good friend" maxim. If you want others (in your case, women) to be interested in you, be interested in them. I think you're overthinking this and putting yourself in a bad head space.
It's an offshoot of the "if you want a good friend, be a good friend" maxim. If you want others (in your case, women) to be interested in you, be interested in them. I think you're overthinking this and putting yourself in a bad head space.
I'm not sure this works in other relationships as it does in friendship. When I was interested in some woman, I do think I made it obvious and cared about them with the best of my will, but it always resulted in "let's just be friends". I do not mind being their friend, of course, but you get my point here.
On the other hand, if I do not think what I am doing I will just do what comes naturally: being myself. This has never worked so far, why would it start working now?
it isn't some thing that you 'do'. it is more of an understanding that you must have regarding who you are and what you are doing, a confidence that comes from this understanding, behavior that is a result of this confidence, and finally success which reinforces that original understanding.
so how does one person convey this understanding to another? if you believe the world is flat, how can i convince you it is round, and therefore safe to circumnavigate? if you are full of fear, reverence, and wonderment, nothing i say will convince you of your own strength and capability in the matter.
I'm not sure this works in other relationships as it does in friendship. When I was interested in some woman, I do think I made it obvious and cared about them with the best of my will, but it always resulted in "let's just be friends". I do not mind being their friend, of course, but you get my point here.
On the other hand, if I do not think what I am doing I will just do what comes naturally: being myself. This has never worked so far, why would it start working now?
There are tons of books that talk about this:
The Game, Mystery Method, Layguide, The System, The Art of Seduction, Double Your Dating, The Real Life Seduction, Magic Bullets....
Start with The Game and Mystery Method, then read The Art of Seduction. that's pretty much put you well ahead of 99% of AFCs.
This is no mystery anymore. Many have break the whole process down to scripts, routines and simple techniques that you can practice and use. I myself wrote many articles on this very subject too.
I have been searching many forums for a long time now. I have seen countless threads about guys who can't get women attracted to them. They would ask for help, work on it, try again, complain, ... you know the deal. I even made a thread about this here some time ago.
But the thing is: Having read so many threads about this, I have never found one of these men that was successful. Some threads were well beyond 100 pages, so there has to be some good advice there. Some men sounded like they were doing good work... but they never made themselves attractive enough to find someone.
So my question is simple. Can a man learn to be more attractive? Or will the ones who are successful will keep getting all the women? So far the evidence I have doesn't seem very promising.
Women are very picky about who they choose to go out with, and their standards get higher and higher everyday
They all want a man who looks like Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, or some other famous guy.
In order to attract a remotely good looking woman these days you have to have money, a nice car, and be very handsome, and if you make less then $100k? forget it.
The Game, Mystery Method, Layguide, The System, The Art of Seduction, Double Your Dating, The Real Life Seduction, Magic Bullets....
Oh, I know about those. I have read some of them. For some time I tried the Mystery Method, but honestly it's too artificial. It feels just weird to use all those routines, and it has a big problem for me: usually you can't use it safely when your friends are around because they know when you are making stories up or behaving strangely.
I do recommend Double your Dating, it covers all the basics. Still, even in DYD there is something missing. All these books help you a lot to remove from yourself everything that keeps women away. But there's a missing gap between "non being disliked" and actually being liked. I just can't find that in any of those books. They just assume that you will start attracting women at some point and they continue their advice from there.
Oh, I know about those. I have read some of them. For some time I tried the Mystery Method, but honestly it's too artificial. It feels just weird to use all those routines, and it has a big problem for me: usually you can't use it safely when your friends are around because they know when you are making stories up or behaving strangely.
I do recommend Double your Dating, it covers all the basics. Still, even in DYD there is something missing. All these books help you a lot to remove from yourself everything that keeps women away. But there's a missing gap between "non being disliked" and actually being liked. I just can't find that in any of those books. They just assume that you will start attracting women at some point and they continue their advice from there.
Why were your friends there? Do they also watch you when you are having sex?
Don't bring your friends alone! Unless you are into those kinds of things.
I don't see the gap. At first you would be just some guy, you demonstrate that you are interesting and you two have something to talk about (the like), you build comfort and rapport, then you move to the next stage...
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