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Do you really like a dominant woman, or, do you just want the woman to take the risk?
Most women do want to be courted. You guys listen to the flakes, the women's libbers, the golddiggers out there, but they are not the majority.
Are woman our equals or not? Why shouldn't I be flattered by a woman that is certain she wants to be with me, that I'm someone that appeals to her? If I'm in the candy store, everything looks good, it's hard to choose. If the candy jumps into my basket, it's that much easier to take it home. It's all edible.
I think the better question is who would you rather hear advice from - someone in the same boat as you or someone that successfully found someone?
From people who realistically understand the problem and have genuine advice to offer. A lot of responses in this thread are classic of what I'm talking about. Some people have no idea of what dating is like today. The ones who insist that dating is no different today than it was 5 -10 years ago. My dating experience tells me otherwise. And I've already posted the major differences so anyone who hasn't read it go back two or three pages.
There is a saying "Don't take financial advice from a broke person".
Good point, kind of applies in dating also.
Actually that's bad advice. You learn way more from people's mistakes than successes. I'd like a balance of what doesn't work vs. only what worked for one person.
From people who realistically understand the problem and have genuine advice to offer. A lot of responses in this thread are classic of what I'm talking about. Some people have no idea of what dating is like today. The ones who insist that dating is no different today than it was 5 -10 years ago. My dating experience tells me otherwise. And I've already posted the major differences so anyone who hasn't read it go back two or three pages.
All those things you listed already existed 5-10 years ago. From not being expected to pay on the first date, to not being the first one to ask the girl out. All those things have existed when I was dating.
So, you don't have much of an argument here.
Fundamental key elements of dating are still the same. The thing that changed is the technology. Easier access to more people giving people more choices...but that's about it.
I don't have to be in the dating world to see it, I mean, really.
Actually that's bad advice. You learn way more from people's mistakes than successes. I'd like a balance of what doesn't work vs. only what worked for one person.
Before people get to successes they go through number of trials and mistakes. Bill Gates didn't become successful overnight. He worked hard for his money. I'd rather take advice from him, than from somebody who is struggling.
All those things you listed already existed 5-10 years ago. From not being expected to pay on the first date, to not being the first one to ask the girl out. All those things have existed when I was dating.
So, you don't have much of an argument here.
Fundamental key elements of dating are still the same. The thing that changed is the technology. Easier access to more people giving people more choices...but that's about it.
I don't have to be in the dating world to see it, I mean, really.
Like everyone I can only speak from my experience. And that is my experience and that of people who are in my same position. Maybe in your experience, 5 -10 years ago men thought you were a gold digger if you expected them to pay for the first date, but I never heard of that until recently. The same thing with sex. The men I dated 5 - 10 years ago had no problem dating months before having sex, today no sex by the third date, no fourth. Heck in alot of cases no sex on the first date means no second date.
But your comment here is a perfect example of what I'm talking about.
irl I usually make a point not to talk about being too happy especially about my relationship. Every little thing is seen as bragging. I didn't even tell anyone at work I was going on vacation to Hawaii for my annivarsary until my boss begged me to bring in pics. People still say "oh you guys are just so perfect arent you?" I know they mean it in a mean way and I'm getting kind of sick of it. Because first of all, no. no one and no relationship is perfect. Second, yes my husband and I are (still) in love...Sorry? With some people I even go out of my way to be negative and they still show thinly vield annoyance at us, so I give up. They normally just tell me how we aren't going to last to make themselves feel better so, whatever.
All those things you listed already existed 5-10 years ago. From not being expected to pay on the first date, to not being the first one to ask the girl out. All those things have existed when I was dating.
So, you don't have much of an argument here. Fundamental key elements of dating are still the same. The thing that changed is the technology. Easier access to more people giving people more choices...but that's about it.
I don't have to be in the dating world to see it, I mean, really.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CESpeed
Like everyone I can only speak from my experience. And that is my experience and that of people who are in my same position. Maybe in your experience, 5 -10 years ago men thought you were a gold digger if you expected them to pay for the first date, but I never heard of that until recently. The same thing with sex. The men I dated 5 - 10 years ago had no problem dating months before having sex, today no sex by the third date, no fourth. Heck in alot of cases no sex on the first date means no second date.
I actually agree with BOTH of you ladies. Especially with the sex part, back in my ma's generation people went roller skating and went out to DO THINGS other then sex! By the time when I was young, (in the mid 90's) my friends were having sex at 14-15 and participating orgy's in High school!! Also CESpeed is right, all the guys I know try to "hit it" on the first night. And many do just by getting the girls drunk; I have seen it.
I would also say the collage life is also a factor.... Today's collage atmosphere has changed so much and it's effecting the youth... It's now a get drunk, party hard, random sex, hookup culture.
Maybe because they were single once too? People aren't born married.
True but some people are born to be married (only a slight exaggeration) and some aren't.
The problem with listening to some married people talk is that they had it quite easy. If they are younger, you can usually "see" why. If older, check their wedding photos.
Somehow, many consider that their experience makes them some sort of expert on marriage. However, their opinions are often of little value to those unlike them.
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