Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
It beats me. It's been over 6 months and I still haven't heard a word from him.
My guess is he just replaced his connection with me with someone else, and once that was done, there was no need to keep me around.
That is rather strange. I guess he never looked at you as a friend. He only wanted romantic relationship with you. Once he found someone else, he didn't feel the need to pursue you anymore.
Otherwise, I can't imagine why he would stop any contact with you. Why lose friends over girlfriends?
That is rather strange. I guess he never looked at you as a friend. He only wanted romantic relationship with you. Once he found someone else, he didn't feel the need to pursue you anymore.
Otherwise, I can't imagine why he would stop any contact with you. Why lose friends over girlfriends?
The last time I ever talked to him, he told me I was his best friend and even told me he loved me, about 3 times.
We were definitely best friends, there is no doubt.
My only guess is knowing how he had an addictive personality, he just moved his addiction from one person to the other. Also, I'm sure the chick had something to do with his not contacting me. He told her from the beginning that he hung out with me a lot. I bet she told him he wasn't "allowed" to anymore.
Who knows.
I'm actually glad we never had closure. I realized in a few short weeks after it all went down that he wasn't good for me to be around.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DennyCrane
People who look at friendships as being disposable probably aren't people you'd want to be friends with to begin with.
I know. He was a great friend when I needed him, but I don't need him anymore. I'm a firm believer that people are in your life for a reason, and sometimes only for specific periods of time. I believe we were meant to be great friends, but not for our entire lives.
"Jenny" is someone I met last year. From the moment I laid eyes on her, I was attracted. Unlike the woman from the earlier posts (with whom I had a fiery and extremely sensual, short-lived love affair - but one which saw me fall in love or come close to it for the first time in over 4 years), this girl, "Jenny," had the type of look that I find sexually attractive.
Jenny is over a decade younger and in earlier stages of life - she's only recently finished college and is just starting out in the working/adult world. I have a mortgage and am a few years away from 40.
So we stayed as passing friends, and we'd just say hi and talk.
The first time we "bonded" as friends was at a summer get-together. Many of us were swimming, and she as the new kid in town was pretty much by herself. The many other women didn't make the effort to talk to her, and they stayed in their own spot of the large pool. She just walked quietly to an edge, wearing shorts and a white t-shirt, and sat down, dipping her feet. I was bathing, walked over, and said with a smile, "you're not coming in?" Jenny got scared, and her legs, which dangled on the water, quickly pulled away against the edge.
I chuckled, and said, "I'm not pulling you in." And on we talked for about 20 minutes.
That was the most contact we'd ever have for the time being. We'd occasionally see each other and say hello and have small talk, and on two get-togethers, I ended up taking Jenny home, and we just talked about life... asked questions, she told me a bit about her background, etc. I felt extremely attracted and comfortable, but I knew better than to do anything. So I respectfully maintained my boundaries. We were nothing but friends, or if not, friendly acquaintances. Never once called her for anything.
Then one night she called me to drink. She just wanted to talk. I gave her some advice, we talked, and laughed, and had a great time... and then...
Let's just say that the physical attraction I had felt towards her hadn't been a one-sided affair. She told me over drinks while we were still sober that she found me attractive, and she reminded me of an earlier comment she'd made way back, that she thought men "should" have broad shoulders. And that night, she said, I met that criteria.
The time together was intense, pleasant, and passionate.
But in the aftermath, Jenny regretted it. She said we went too far too fast and even was embarrassed. We talked it over, agreed to remain friends, but since then things changed permanently. She's very awkward around me and avoids me if she can. Oddly enough when we are alone (which is very rare and coincidental) she is OK, and on the few occasions we spoke by phone or what not, she was also OK.
I've run out of patience trying to figure out what Jenny's thinking, and I do have my ideas, but by giving in to the situation which presented itself - by consummating my attraction towards and underlying crush on Jenny - the friendship has been ruined, or at least, severely damaged. Had I known it would've turned out this way, I would not have allowed what occurred to occur. But it was a risk both of us took - and if I say I did not enjoy the deep physical and emotional intimacy of that night, I'd be a liar.
So... if you ever decide to cross that line with a friend... be ready to potentially have that person no longer be your friend when it's all over.
I agree that some things should not change. I've had to make the call a couple of times with guys I knew but it wasn't a hard call to make. Usually there was not "spark" there for me anyway, which is why we were just friends for so long. But it didn't really matter, once they make the move and I said no the friendship was basically over anyway but at least we didn't end up hurting each other.
As far as the whole idea of hooking up with a married person, I just have to ask; who ARE you idiots that keep repeating that stupid mantra "you shouldn't judge people"? Holding people accountable is to certain standards is how society stays in check. The fact that these days nobody is ever made to feel bad about any crap they choose to do is exactly the reason our society is so messed up right now. I had this talk with my teenage son and his friends the other day when one girl made a negative comment about someone they knew who used drugs. She got the "you shouldn't judge" speech from some of them too. I couldn't frickin believe my ears. OF COURSE she should! We all should! A healthy dose of shame is a good thing.
I'm bringing this old thread to life (for those who remember) just for a little update. J and L have reconciled after few years of not communicating. J is still looking for something more and L cannot give it to her. I don't know what J is thinking but it's not looking good.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
