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Why does your girlfriend need to know if someone in your family is sick?
She may want to know why you're disappearing every other night for a few hours. If you don't tell her you're going to the hospital to visit the relative, that will give her the impression you're seeing someone else. So that would mean you would have to lie to her about where you're going.
Not very good in my book. I would tell her but I would also tell her that he/she didn't want anyone to know.
Because we are very sincere and tell ourselves everything what happens to us
How long have you been with your girlfriend and does she know your family well or at all? I just feel that your relative's illness is not anyone's business unless it impacts their lives.
Quote:
Originally Posted by thebobs
She may want to know why you're disappearing every other night for a few hours. If you don't tell her you're going to the hospital to visit the relative, that will give her the impression you're seeing someone else. So that would mean you would have to lie to her about where you're going.
Not very good in my book. I would tell her but I would also tell her that he/she didn't want anyone to know.
What if they are dating only 1 month? What if she has never met them and this has no bearing on their relationship? What if the illness will potentially "shame" their relative like an STD? I think there are many situations when it is just not their secret to tell.
How long have you been with your girlfriend and does she know your family well or at all? I just feel that your relative's illness is not anyone's business unless it impacts their lives.
I have been with my girlfriend for two years.
Quote:
Originally Posted by robee70
What if they are dating only 1 month? What if she has never met them and this has no bearing on their relationship? What if the illness will potentially "shame" their relative like an STD? I think there are many situations when it is just not their secret to tell.
My girlfriend might think that I am not sincere, so she will know the truth one day.
Sincerity and honesty about yourself with your girlfriend is one thing but I don't see the need to be open and honest about other people especially when one of those other people has made a specific request. Honor your family member's wishes - otherwise, you'd be compromising his/her trust in you to maintain confidentiality. And that is just as important as sincerity and honesty.
What is it with people that makes them think they have to blab everything to everyone they come across? I really don't get this. It's not that hard to honor someone's request not to tell the world about their situation. If you can't keep your lips sealed then you're not a trustworthy person at all.
My girlfriend might think that I am not sincere, so she will know the truth one day.
"She'll know the truth on day"? Geez, you make it sound like one day she'll find out you fathered a child with your relative's nurse. So one day she'll find out someone in your family was sick and you didn't report about it to her? Okay. What conclusions will she draw? That you aren't "sincere" and you can't be trusted? Whoa, what a betrayal! Dear Lord, if you keep that from her, what secrets will you keep next? Make a phone call to a friend and not tell her about it? Not forward every e-mail message you ever get to her? Oh, the horror! [/end sarcasm]
I'm sorry, but this is a really childish attitude. Being "sincere" doesn't mean you report to your SO on everything that's happening with everyone who is connected to you. You are still an autonomous human being, and so is she. She is a part of your life, probably a very important part -- but that life is still your own, and my advice to you is that you make certain parts of it off limits. Even in a long-term relationship, there is still such things as privacy and obligations that you have to others. Even deeply committed partners should still give each other space. My sincere advice, that I hope you will take to heart: Don't put yourself in such a position where every minute of every day of your life is under a microscope, no matter how much you love this girl. It will come back to bite you in the *** some day -- big time.
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