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It was suggested to me that I should end my relationship with my girlfriend when I went into the Navy--but she cried and begged me not to do it. So I didn't. Within six months, SHE found someone else that was actually around for her. I didn't date anyone else for seven years.
I'm in the process of ending a relationship now with someone who I love... but for various reasons, we both realize that this is not something that is a lifetime partnership for either of us. We've been married for 13 1/2 years, together for 14 1/2. No children (which is part of the problem). No chemistry (which is a larger part of the problem). There are other factors as well...
I love my husband. I am not in love with him. Our relationship has always been one more based on a really strong friendship than anything else. There needs to be more underlying than this, and we are both young enough that we can still find happiness... and so far, we've been able to keep this very amicable, and are hoping to come out of this in the end as the friends that we already are, just no longer roommates.
Yes, it was a VERY tough decision. I was going to move on and advance my career, but she didn't want to leave her hometown. I thought, and she said, we were like yin and yang, soul mates, etc. Sex was great. I thought of her as the flower in the swamp, something beautiful in an undesirable place. But if taken out it would likely wither away. I was so numbed out, I didn't date for 2-3 years afterward.
We weren't actually in a relationship, though we both wanted it. The timing was all wrong and I grew tired of waiting for him to figure out what he wanted. As it dragged on, our communication got worse and there were times where he treated me pretty unfairly. I finally woke up and realized it was never going to happen. At the same time, he finally figured out what he wanted and asked for a chance. I had to say no and move on. I'm still not sure it was the right decision, but I can't go back. A part of me will always love him.
Answering the OP -- Yes; recently. Still grieving, actually. One of the most difficult things I've ever done in my life, yet we know it was the right decision (it was mutual). Love isn't always enough, regardless of how badly you want it to be. But the old addage is true - It really is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. While giving him up has caused the most gut-wrenching pain I've known, I remind myself that, with him, I also experienced some of the greatest joy in my life!
If you don't mind me asking, PJ, why did you split up?
Stopped seeing women on occasion with whom I enjoyed their company immensely.
Because the chemistry was gone and things did not flow together any more.
Yes I have. I was dating a girl 10 years younger and we really loved each other. She moved a few hours away for school and wanted to continue the relationship. But even though I loved her I knew I had to let her go. I knew she was too young to be in a serious relationship and that she had a lot of living to do. It hurt both of us but I did what was best for her. I believe she will thank me someday.
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