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Ahh, I'm only commenting from a current perspective. I could see it being completely different 50 or 100 years ago. I would be absolutely shocked to see a confident woman in today's society say that she wanted to only love her husband 75% as much as he loved her.
As I see it, it's a complete waste of time if both partners don't love each other 100%.
Why would a man want to spend his life with a woman who doesn't fully love him and couldn't care less if he left?
Why would a woman want to spend her life with a man she doesn't fully love and doesn't feel that strongly about?
I think the balance of love in a relationship is rarely even. Usually one person is more committed than the other. I see it as something that waxes and wanes and it probably flip-flops back and forth between partners over the course of time.
My husband loved me before I loved him. He demonstrated his love and proved himself to me and eventually he convinced me of his sincerity.
He is still the most selfless, loving man I have ever known. He never asks for me to prove anything to him and doesn't want or expect me to go out of my way for him. In fact, it makes him uncomfortable, so I have learned to restrain myself. I don't demonstrate my love the same way that he does.
If I come on too strong, or focus too much of my attention on him, he pulls back and "needs space". Our relationship is more romantic and passionate when I step back and let him do all the relationship work. I have given him the reigns.
My husband is a lot like a mule. If I approach him directly, he runs away. If I want his attention I have to pique his interest indirectly and make him chase me.
On the outside, it probably looks like he loves me more. Maybe he does, I don't know. I love him with all my heart but I don't always show it... because our relationship works better if I don't.
Ahh, I'm only commenting from a current perspective. I could see it being completely different 50 or 100 years ago. I would be absolutely shocked to see a confident woman in today's society say that she wanted to only love her husband 75% as much as he loved her.
Depends on how you were raised. I'm an early Gen X-er, but my mother was WWII era, my sisters are Baby Boomers, and my sisters are all at least 9 years older than I am. My sisters still think this way, and they're only in their early to mid 50s.
I think that kids of Baby Boomers might be the first generation that could be truly free of it, as their parents were instrumental in the sexual revolution and really got the ball rolling toward modern thinking. Plus, kids of Baby Boomers have not really known a world where a female CEO, surgeon, or politician was a novelty. It has just always been modern for them, along with Roe v. Wade and other things that happened before they were born.
Unless one was raised by parents who were considered eccentric or threateningly progressive for their time, the rest of us have to do a lot of soul-searching and strength-finding to shake off the ideas and socialization that were planted in our heads before we even started kindergarten.
Ok, But do you really think any man would like to live with a woman who doesn't fully love him? That kind of thinking just comes across as selfish. I wouldn't want to waste my time being with a person who doesn't fully love me 100%.
Do you really think, as human beings and no two are exactly the same, that any person can love someone exactly as much as they are loved? Relationships typically start with the realization that there are feelings of love. It grows over time, so they are not 100% to begin with. By your reasoning, we are all settling.
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To me it seems women who believes that the man should love more than the woman, basicly couldn't care less if their husband/boyfriend just left.
That's absurd. Two people can be very much in love and still one may love the other more. I challenge you to apply that thinking to them.
In addition, you can't make someone feel something they don't. They are not disrespecting or degrading the other because they don't love as much. Should we villify the one who loves more for not controlling themselves or for putting the pressure on?
Many troubled relationships are salvaged with a lot less love than they they had at their best. Sometimes you can get it back and, of course, sometimes you can't.
Do you really think, as human beings and no two are exactly the same, that any person can love someone exactly as much as they are loved? Relationships typically start with the realization that there are feelings of love. It grows over time, so they are not 100% to begin with. By your reasoning, we are all settling.
That's absurd. Two people can be very much in love and still one may love the other more. I challenge you to apply that thinking to them.
In addition, you can't make someone feel something they don't. They are not disrespecting or degrading the other because they don't love as much. Should we villify the one who loves more for not controlling themselves or for putting the pressure on?
Many troubled relationships are salvaged with a lot less love than they they had at their best. Sometimes you can get it back and, of course, sometimes you can't.
No offcourse not but maybe what I mean is that I would not want to be with a woman who DOES NOT even WANT to love me 100% and basicly just wants to hold back the love so she can have an advantage over me, basicly I would not want to waste my time with selfish women who think that the man should love more than the woman and that the woman should always have the upper hand.
Most women obviously do. Women do not want the man to feel loved, women only want the man to make her feel loved.
Most women want to have the advantage and the upper hand in the relationship because they are selfish. Simple as that.
If that's what you believe, and you already have all the answers, then why are you bothering to ask?
And please, save yourself the energy and do women a favor and leave them alone, because with that attitude, they're not going to have anything to do with you, anyway, except maybe to tell you what a misogynistic jackarse you are.
If that's what you believe, and you already have all the answers, then why are you bothering to ask?
And please, save yourself the energy and do women a favor and leave them alone, because with that attitude, they're not going to have anything to do with you, anyway, except maybe to tell you what a misogynistic jackarse you are.
Why? Because I actually want a woman who loves me 100% and is fully committed in the relationship and not some woman who only love me 50% and could not care less if I left? Why would any man want a woman who wants to have the upper hand and the advantage in the relationship?
You are calling me a misogynistic jackarse just because I want the love to be equal and mutual and don't want anybody to have the advantage and upper hand in a relationship?
No offcourse not but maybe what I mean is that I would not want to be with a woman who DOES NOT even WANT to love me 100% and basicly just wants to hold back the love so she can have an advantage over me, basicly I would not want to waste my time with selfish women who think that the man should love more than the woman and that the woman should always have the upper hand.
I agree there. However, wanting to find someone who loves you more doesn't mean it's selfish and conniving, nor does it mean you don't want to love 100%. There are people who actually know their SO doesn't love them as much, but what they have is still very fulfilling and there is nothing but respect between them.
I also think this is really something one can only hope for, not plan for. I wouldn't mind it at all, but I can guarantee any man who did love me more would be safe with me. I wouldn't be/stay with him if I didn't love him enough to make us both happy.
You took it to the extreme of selfishness, lacking respect/self-respect, not caring if the guy left and that is really not the case. If we have to use percentages, loving someone 75% is quite enough to not want them to leave. But percentages are kind of useless here. My 100% is probably not the same as yours.
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