Why can't Lesbians marry?

[AnonChick]

Genesis wasn't written in English. It was written in Aramaic, then in Hebrew, and from there, translated into Greek and Latin and the rest of the known languages hundreds of years later.

The English transliteration of the passage in Genesis is, roughly:

"Let us make man in Our image, after Our likeness."

Now mind you, Jesus wasn't even a twinkle in god's holy sperm yet, so "we" weren't the father/son/spirit. However, God did have his twin brother Satan, who lost the arm wrestling match and got stuck in the tropics while God got the best of the ski slopes. So it's possible that Satan made man, and God made women, and since women are the original sinners and men are clearly just clueless, helpless, powerless sheep, men have to have that rule about not boinking each other. Cause, if they didn't have that rule, they wouldn't realize that they have to boink women in order to be fruitful and multiply.

Women, on the other hand, are smart enough to know this, and can handle the lovin between themselves just fine while still managing to keep the population pumping. And so, they don't need that rule, which explains why in Leviticus (the old testament, again, not written originally in English and not even translated to English for many hundreds of years after it was written)...we read that men aren't allowed to boink each other.

So let's see. I've managed to bash Christians, and English-speaking persons, and anyone who believes the stories of the Torah as literal truth, women, men, and sheep. Anyone wanna try topping that or are we done here?

[june 7th]

thread closed.