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My girl and I have been together for over a year. I started staying over about every night now for almost a year. She has her own floor with a kitchen, living room, bedroom, etc. I've met her landlord. At first, he was very friendly with shook my hand but generally hardly see him.
We both work during the day. We're quiet. I don't over burden with extra trash (in fact I wait until he moves the trash out to the curb to put our trash out). I do use water, so the utilities have gone up. He talked about it with her and she said she's pay extra to cover it.
Now it seems like there's problems. He is giving her cold stares and seems to be nasty. I smile and wave Hi but he ignores me now. Nothing has changed (except the length I've been seeing her). He recently wrote her emails that she should stay with me at my place for months. That I am using her. That she is going to be alone because the guys she are with uses her. He's an elderly man, so I think co-habitation bothers him.
I've discussed with her about maybe me writing him a letter and offering to take him and the Mrs out to dinner. Or send flowers. I really like my girl and don't want there to be problems. But I feel the LL is intentionally being unnecessarily nasty.
get put on the lease if you intend to stay there every night/the majority of your free time
the LL is probably looking at this as a potential problem situation since you hold zero accountability in the event you cause extra charges in water/electric etc or damages to the property. right now you are a liability to him and nothing more.
he is also probably a little miffed at her for not notifying him of another person spending that amount of time in the building until/or something else came up that would notify him of sudden changes.
if you want to do the responsible thing, ask to be allowed on the lease. this situation will only ever come back to bite the lease holder and LL in the butt i something goes wrong.
while the sentiment of being friendly with her LL is all well and good and wont hurt the situation, its not a place to be winning favor to earn acceptance...this is a business and the "problem" for a LL is a legal one.
So should I try to be friendly and considerate first or just flat out say, "Hey man, let's lose this awkwardness and get me on the lease... I really like [my girl], and I want to do the responsible thing... and be on good terms with you..."
what part of living someplace without being on the lease or paying rent & utilities do you not get? if I were the LL this would have been handled about the 3rd time I saw you leaving for work in the morning. grow up, apologize to him, and ask him what he would like you to do to be legit. Oh, and don't forget to give proper notice to your "other" landlord.
Obviously he feels you are with her on her dime since you're not staying home enough. He probably believes you really don't have somewhere else. Her lease may say something about limitations on overnight guests.
He is acting inappropriately. If he doesn't want you there, and the lease says something about it, he can give her a 7 day notice to fix it (make you stay at your own place) or she would be breaking the lease.
He is giving she and you not so subtle hints that your staying over is a problem. Why don't you stay home more regularly until you are ready to move in for real, then ask to be put on the lease?
He recently wrote her emails that she should stay with me at my place for months. That I am using her. That she is going to be alone because the guys she are with uses her.
If he doesn't wish to, than she should ask if he prefer she move out. If so, than the two of you should start looking.
He agreed to a single tenant and now has two. You actually could claim legal tenancy. You are increasing the cost of utilities and causing extra wear and tear.
Perhaps, but this sounds like a roommate situation, not an apartment situation if I understood the OP.
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