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there is so much wrong with this, I just can't even .
So, you are suggesting that the OP should (or should have) prostitute herself? Oh and also, when a man and a women move in together, since the man's salary pays the rent (really? women don't contribute?) that the woman is essentially trading sexual favors so she will be taken care of? I suppose there is no concept of partnership in your life. And I suppose all of the working women of the world are just fooling around. We are just all a bunch of helpless girls waiting to be rescued. Got it.
I am amazed that I have to explain a concept that is obvious, but here goes. Women can trade sexual favors for rent. The OP was doing this already, as she had a lower tier sugar daddy paying for her motel room. Trading sexual favors for housing isn't that uncommon. In many mainstream relationships, when a male and female move in together, the boyfriend's salary covers rent so in effect the woman is trading sex for rent. However, since this often occurs in middle income and higher households and most of their social circle is not asking about how the bills get split, it is concealed to most outsiders.
OP's real estate issue is a symptom of a larger disease. She has had an education issue (not entirely her fault), employment issues (not entirely her fault), and romantic relationship issues (mostly her fault). Her inability to put together a sustainable relationship where she could get a boyfriend to cover most of her living expenses on a mcjob salary was the most significant contributory factor to her now homelessness. This is utterly astounding as we are in an era where the average male is finding it more difficult to have sex on a regular basis. Since 1980, in the United States, there has been an upward re-distribution of wealth where the upper class is getting a larger share of the money in the economy, and the middle class and poor have gotten less of it. The mating market has followed the same general trend as the economy. The upper tier men have gotten access to more women, and the mid to lower tier men have had less access to women. While OP is unlikely to have gotten access to elite men, her inability to find a mid to lower tier man and keep him around so as to get her rent paid is a major failing. She was also not lacking for options, as she was constantly getting asked out. There are plenty of regular working guys out there struggling to get laid regularly who would have provided for her so long as she was giving these men regular access to sex.
This post is too realistic and sensible for this forum; feminists will be pouncing on you shortly with proclamations of how strong and independent they are.
The OP WAS ALREADY accepting money and food from a man for sexual favors, yes. For months and she had no problem with that per her posts; she said she was having fun.
She lost that "job" just as she has every other job she has had per her posts.
If one cannot sustain even fast food and convenience store jobs one needs to examine one's behavior. This OP refuses to do that and contunies to blame others for her predicament(s).
So, you are suggesting that the OP should (or should have) prostitute herself?
No he is saying that women are FORTUNATE to have that advantage.
Although he fails to see that he could also prostitute himself to men and find a ready clientele and income. But he wouldn't want to do that. Unlike a woman, I guess?
thank you to all who have gave me advice- i am looking into places and trying to see what i can do. right now i am on my phone and am on public wifi. i'll try to check in when i can.
i know ppl are saying that it's my fault I'm in this situation. That's fine :/ I hate that thats being said, but whatever. And no I wasnt trading sex for money or a place to stay. Really?? Yeah, no. Thats not what that was. You can be with someone and have a connection with them and they can pay for stuff but that doesnt make me a bad person. i never tried to take advantage of someone. Also tired of hearing that I'm waiting to be saved...no, not true AT ALL. i have been trying to help myself. i moved to this city not knowing anybody and starting a new job. I dont expect anyone to take care of me. People here seem to think that I have always had my bills taken care of by somebody...NOT TRUE. I have always paid my own way. Either i paid it, or i didn't get to go. same with my prom. same with groceries. same with anything else i have needed or wanted. I pay or I didn't get it at all. I never had parents that would pay my way even when I was younger. I have a mom but she never did that stuff for me. So yeah, if you think that I am waiting for a man to take care of me or if my bills have always been paid by someone else that's NOT true. The only person you can really depend on is yourself.
not saying this to make anyone feel sorry for me but honestly i have been in this situation before, not having a place to go. it has happened in my life a few times so i can deal with it. I dnt want to be in this situation but I'm not ashamed. I have been through so many embarassing things in my life that it's whatever at this point. Yeah I'm worried but I have been worse off than this. I miss my dog more than anything and it sucks not having anywhere to go but thats the situation right now.
I cant stay with my friend Chloe because she has a baby and her parents dont know me and i dont have a job. i can't just stay with them. They are keeping my dog which is really nice of them and he will be happy there since they have another dog his size he can play with. so she is helping me that way.
Thank you for the advice. i'll try to come on here to update people that care or who wanna know. I'm still looking for work and trying. i have to use public wifi to apply for jobs. i would be on here more but ppl can be so negative and mean. Like maybe certain poster dont mean it, but some of them make me feel like such a loser :/ Yes most of the time I feel like I cant do anything right but i am trying. Thanks.
and sorry but hospitals and the er don't care about my leg. when I was in the hospital before they wouldnt even give me any pain pills or drugs for my pain, even though I was beat up and was in a lot of pain. i told them about my leg and they said there was nothing i could do but go to therapy for it or whatever but i had to work and i explained why before. even if i went today i know they wouldnt do anything just give me a note to go to another doctor. maybe it could be fixed with surgery but who even knows, I have heard too many things but no cures.
Belle, I wish you luck but please be very very careful - a pretty young girl like you with no family support, and with no place to stay, is a prime target for pimps.
Belle, I wish you luck but please be very very careful - a pretty young girl like you with no family support, and with no place to stay, is a prime target for pimps.
If one cannot sustain even fast food and convenience store jobs one needs to examine one's behavior. This OP refuses to do that and continues to blame others for her predicament(s).
I think this is a legitimate point. I had a few low wage jobs while I was in high school and college. Some jobs lasted for only a summer, and others continued part time into school years. Every single one of these jobs I quit on my own terms.
Part of OP's problem is that mcjobs really have a shelf life. OP worked fast food for 5+ years. 5+ years day in and day out is too long in fast food. I could understand doing that for 1 year, but beyond that is really pushing it, especially without a managerial title. The same goes for working in a convenience store, at a sit down restaurant, or department store retail.
In all of the mcjobs that I had, I just gutted it out for a short period of time, gave a good effort, and then quit. That's how you do it with mcjobs.
While I was in college, if I ever did not feel like studying, I thought about spending the rest of my life working a lousy retail job. That got me to study.
Quote:
Originally Posted by belle woods
maybe it could be fixed with surgery.
Then you need to have surgery. You need to start by going to a free clinic and figuring out what's wrong. Even if you can pay $1/month to a specialist who puts you in physical therapy, that's fine. You need a functional leg to work, especially the types of jobs that you are likely to have in the near future.
Not every place has a free clinic. It is something to check out though.
Belle, I had forgotten about the Work Force Centers. When I was laid off they were very helpful. Free use of computers for job searching, counselors who helped me try to find a job & even some financial aid when my car broke down. Great people, at least in Minnesota. That could be another option for you.
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