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I was on Usenet beginning in the late 80's, and many people used to use their real names, including me. In one group if a regular poste, or several, were coming to NYC where I lived, a bunch of posters from the NYC area would meet with the out-of-towners in a restaurant for a dinner. One of the dinners got fifty people during some holiday.
Met terrific people on the Usenet groups, and quite a few in person. Even met a couple of people who were leaders in their specialities and were posting under their real names.
However, all those people were folks not only from a different computer era, but also born and raised in a different USA. Given today's internet and the deterioration in civility in American society across the board, I would be highly unlikely to be willing to want to replicate that experience today. In any case, I live in Europe now.
I do not watch any American news channels, and in recent months have come to watch little news channel from anywhere. I began looking at City-Data forums because I wanted a one-stop broad view of what Americans are thinking and doing, across the country, across age groups, etc. And the C-D forums are so varied that it all seems right here between the geographically-oriented forums and the special interest ones.
As for secrecy, I am very prolix and detailed in what I post. And I have been aware that someone with enough motivation could follow the dots from my posts here to other places. One regular C-D participant did take the pains to do just that, and did find one of several email addresses I keep as spares.
sadly, I agree with the first bolded statement. I have met and spent time with members of a group I was part of for years. I count many in that group as friends, even though I have only met a few in person. I wouldn't feel comfortable doing that now.
and, interesting perhaps, since I started working on my family tree, I have become quite good at tracking people down on the internet, dead or alive, even though I am more than fairly computer illiterate.
I haven't tried looking for any of you all yet, but just for fun, I made a list of what I think I know about the OP and I think I could find him/her.
Everybody knows that Nor'Eastah is Dave, which is my real name. I don't post my last name, but even if I did, it would be hard to find me. The backwoods of Maine is a BIG place! But I have been out on the road most of my life, have met many, many guys who shared a cuppa, and never felt endangered by it. But I'm 6'-2" and pretty wiry. I do keep details about my wife, daughters, and grandchildren pretty secure.
I agree with everyone else here, no paranoia just being careful doesn't hurt. I am sure if some really wants to identify you they will find a way, but most of the identity theft that happen to us (me included) happen when the credit card companies or the stores that use them fail to protect the information that we provided them. Anyway, I have been posting on the forum for a while sometimes more than other and some are very specific to location when people ask about where to live. So if really someone is very interested in finding me, it's not a big secret.
I never use my real name on any online communities and post pics with no identifying info. I've met online friends in real life and it was after knowing them from years online.
This forum is okay but other C-D forums can get nasty, so I'm cautious here. Anyone on the internet can read the posts here. My safest online community is free but requires membership and cannot be read unless you are a member, making it a comfortable place to be. I'm more open there, but still prudent.
I have my email address I give for family/friends and four aliases that I give out to anyone else. If I have any issues I can delete that alias for no more contact.
I am the only person in the US with my name, thus, I don't participate on any forum that requires me to identify myself. The forums I subscribe to on this site are rather innocuous. I used to engage in political discussions on Huffington Post, and you get some seriously disturbed people there, particularly around certain hot topics like firearms. I got off that site entirely when they stopped allowing anonymity (plus, it's just not worth the blood pressure, IMO).
Like others have said, I'm really not too concerned about people who post here. It's the ones who lurk--you don't know who they are or what you might say that catches a fruitcake's interest. And these discussions come up in a general Google search. That said, I don't go too far with the anonymity. I don't balk at saying what city I live in or what I do for a living (though I would never name my actual employer). I tend to go with "reasonably cautious" and leave it at that.
My (married) surname is extremely unusual in the US and combined with my unusual first name, it makes me very easy to find. Back in the usenet days (when women on the site were rare), I had problems with a stalker and have since used a generic "nom de internet."
I have given out my actual name and email address to a few people, via DM on the site, who were moving to my area and actually met personally with several - but that is after I have a reasonable handle on who the person is.
My Facebook account is my real name but it is fairly well locked down to "private" (as much as Facebook can be) and I do not accept friend requests from people I do not know personally.
I am very careful but I've noticed that depending on which internet provider is used, the ISP address can be as specific and my actual HOUSE location! Be aware that on some media social sites, such as myspace, you can install tracking code to advise you of who is watching and from where. Facebook doesn't allow that tracking code. I enjoy this forum but don't give much information of any use to anyone. And even IF someone figures out who I am and where I live, well, I am not afraid as I've expressed several times. I also carry identity theft insurance for good measure.
I agree with everyone else here, no paranoia just being careful doesn't hurt.
And I disagree with pretty much everyone here. I think you're all paranoid to a degree - - - some much more so than others. I've been giving out my name, address and phone number, as well as meeting people from fora in person (including this one), for almost two decades. Of all the things to be concerned about in this day and age, worrying about giving out any identifying information in an online forum shouldn't even fall within most people's top 100.
If someone took the time, I have no doubt they could learn a lot about me by pulling from various posts, but that takes time and I don't think I have much to hide that would make it worth while. I don't use my real name and very seldom ever do DMs here. Did connect on another forum with a neighbor who became a neighbor due to my recs for the neighborhood.
OTOH, some of my dearest and who I consider closest friends are a group of us who "met" in the Prodigy days thanks to a common issue we had as parents. We've been together for well over 20 years, through Prodigy, NVN, Delphi, private list servs and now yahoo/google group. We've been through birth, death and divorce together. Have had some get togethers over the years but more often smaller ones depending on what part of the country people live. We support each other and are such a diversed group, I would have never know otherwise. One has been tempted to write a book, titled something about meeting an ax murderer since that's what one husband asked when some were planning to meet for the first time years ago. But, as someone said, I have my doubts if such a group could really form this type of bond anymore. It's a different world "out there" now.
When I first got onto the internet I wasn't very careful, and I was trusting. And I got involved with a group of people who seemed mostly pretty good but there was one really huge catfisher in the bunch. I mean HUGE. To the point where YEARS LATER, I'm not sure in this passel of 10 or so women, I'm actually not really sure they are real people and not simply internet fiction. And we're now all Facebook friends.
Fortunately, and in hindsight, I was not her prey. I never rose to the bait.
Then there was the soap opera board, where we were getting juicy inside information... and then some info came out no one liked, and some people on the board got really angry, and wrote REAL letters to the soap... and they figured out who was the leak and fired him. It was a dresser on the set. Now. Guy shouldn't have been leaking information. It was proper for him to have lost his job.... but -- damn, a stupid soap opera message board got some guy fired, in a big enough way that if I remember correctly it was reported in Soap Opera Digest, and who knows, maybe ruined his career.
Then there was cat forum, where I told them my cat's names, one of which was Seamus. When my next auto insurance renewal came up, my agent called me and was dancing around something.... I told him to cut to the chase, something was up, just tell me. Well -- they had information that someone had moved into our home and was living with us and they needed to know if Seamus was driving the cars. I laughed so hard it took a minute to catch my breath, then told him Seamus was my cat, and his feet didn't reach the pedals.
Then Shamey started getting pre-approved credit card offers. (We lost our sweet boy in January)
So here's the thing -- I learned that nothing on the internet is really private, and things are out there doing their best to find a way in to sell you stuff... so yeah -- I do my best to keep things close to the vest... but if someone is determined... you can't stop them.
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dead or alive, even though I am more than fairly computer illiterate.
