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Those of us with family need to TALK to them about our wishes for the future. Thos of us with or without family need to be very careful about who we trust. I find stories like these so depressing. But hopefully our estates are set up to avoid such fraud.
That's legalized theft it seems and unconscionable that the courts are in on this and protect thieves and crooks.
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Originally Posted by newenglandgirl
Also read up on how nursing homes can appoint themselves guardians, in the news recently.
That's not all when it comes to exploiting the elderly. Welcome to NASGA!
It has been almost 3 years where I have been fighting the county to regain guardianship of my mother.
I have no rights, had to wait 17 months in order to call her, need supervised visitation and they
have depleted most of her cash assets and now want to sell her house. There are 2 divisions to
this 1. her guardians (a company) and 2. the bank. All these entities are interconnected and have
a lot of power (it makes it almost impossible to fight the county unless a person has hundreds of
thousands of dollars to keep petitioning and the attorney fees are beyond what most people can
afford). It has been hell and the worst part is since they placed her in a home - her
friends & family cannot call or see her, the company won't return any of my calls, wouldn't
allow me to bring her some of her cloths and family pictures but more importantly
her health has worsened and I am not allowed to speak to any of her doctors.
I have heard about this kind of elder abuse. It worries me---I live alone. How does one protect themselves against this? I have 2 sons who would be involved in my care should I become incompetent---but what documents would need to be in place? Would POA for Health and POA for Finances be enough? I have heard of some real horror stories---scary, indeed!
I have heard about this kind of elder abuse. It worries me---I live alone. How does one protect themselves against this? I have 2 sons who would be involved in my care should I become incompetent---but what documents would need to be in place? Would POA for Health and POA for Finances be enough? I have heard of some real horror stories---scary, indeed!
Find a good Elder Care Attorney. There are many who practice this only. Tell that person exactly what you want and don't want. Either go alone the first time or take your sons with you. It might be a good idea to talk to your sons privately first before you go on the clock with an attorney.
A durable POA (for Finance) and one for health decision then should be put in the hands of doctors, financial institutions.
When my mother was beginning to decline we had the POA written up but we didn't take them to be official to the courthouse until she really got bad. The attorney can tell you how to handle things.
If your sons don't get along there might be other instruments you can use but if they do it would be pretty straight forward. Remember you can always cancel a POA but that can be tricky. An unscrupulous person can convince you to cancel and then give them POA...especially if cognizant impairment is involved.
Find a good Elder Care Attorney.
A durable POA (for Finance) and one for health decision then should be put in the hands of doctors, financial institutions.
If your sons don't get along there might be other instruments you can use but if they do it would be pretty straight forward. Remember you can always cancel a POA but that can be tricky. An unscrupulous person can convince you to cancel and then give them POA...especially if cognizant impairment is involved.
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Originally Posted by artangel
I have heard about this kind of elder abuse. It worries me---I live alone. How does one protect themselves against this? I have 2 sons who would be involved in my care should I become incompetent---but what documents would need to be in place? Would POA for Health and POA for Finances be enough? I have heard of some real horror stories---scary, indeed!
Kudzu provided some good information. The first move would be to get a good attorney. Secondly,
would you want a will or a living trust? (provided a link). In my situation, my mother had a trust
with a POA and named me as a co trustee (the lawyer would explain the reasons and benefits of this)
however she did not give me the legal signed copy which whom ever is designated SHOULD HAVE as
well as a copy of the trust. Also, you have to make a decision about which son would have your
best interests at heart as well as being responsible. Also, who ever you choose, he should be on your
bank accounts and cd's. My situation was a result of her other adult child, X, who convinced her when
she was getting ill to get another attorney and changed the trust and all accounts and cds.
X got into a lot of trouble and the county and state refused to release her into X's care. I can't go
into all the details since X is violent, is a repeat offender and is a sociopath.
Many thanks for your responses to my post! I very much appreciate it. I am currently talking with my oldest son about setting up the POA and living will, advanced directive and possibly a trust (the kind that can be changed if I so desire---forget exactly what it is called). My sons are not at odds with each other and both agreed to all of this---just have to get it done. They both live in different states from my location and are so hard to reach---busy lives. As far as bank accounts, and the house, if I put one of them on as co-owners, aside from the look-back period for some situations, my son said I could lose it all if one of them were sued for some reason (it would be considered their property). Anyway, you have given me a lot of answers and I am grateful for your help. Thank you!!! (my oldest son is a corporate attorney---he said he is not the best to talk to. As you noted, someone specializing in eldercare or estates would be better and he is trying to locate someone he trusts and from his firm here in my state.) I am waiting to hear back from him.....
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