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I have learned many great things on CD. Of the lesser, more amusing things I've learned, is that there are some (thankfully only a few) who use their precious retirement time trying to one-up others, digging through their past posts of years back, trying to prove the point that they, themselves, are astute and superior. Such entertainment.
I learned quite a few things from cd forums applicable to my interest of finding a suitable retirement home such as the pros and cons of living in different climate, states, towns, cities, HOA or non HOA, how to prepare for downsizing, for relocation etc.
I learned few new financial related issues such as the fact that 401K either goes 100% to a new spouse or 50% even when a non-spouse is the designated beneficiary. I did not hear about the LTC partnership program with states until it was mentioned by mathjak.
It was a surprise to me to read many heart breaking stories about estrangements from children in this senior/retirement forum. I had always thought that times heal all wounds, that there would be more reconciliations as the parents get older.
Although I have been aware of potential issues which may arise with major life changing events like retirement, facing serious health issues (own or spouse's) or financial (losing jobs, divorces etc), I am quite appreciative of the 'brave' folks who shared their life challenges or difficult decisions here. Learning about these issues from first-hand accounts makes me feel more prepared to enter a new phase in my life.
Lastly I learned that as we get older, we may become more forgetful or even more fearful (I will start a thread about scientific studies of the effect of aging later) but we are still basically the same people as our younger selves. I see roughly the same distribution of personality, temperament type, religious or political leanings in the senior set as in the general population. I see the same differences between the sexes (men are from Mars, women from Venus: case in point is the current 'dispute' about what type of topics or postings should be 'tolerated' at this forum). To understand the POV of a poster (especially when it is different from mine), I usually spent few minutes learning about their background, reading their other postings. I find it interesting that a person's occupational background usually has quite an influence on their opinions, life's outlook or modus operandus in their retirement and probably for the rest of their life.
Another pleasant surprise that I found in the cd forums is that many of the posters are extremely helpful and quite generous with their time. Although I am an optimistic, the-glass-half-full type of person who believes that altruism is inherent in human nature, it is my experience and observation that there are a lot more good people here than found in the general population. This is why I have become a more frequent reader, forum participant and hope to be here in this 'virtual' senior/retirement community for a long time.
Just to be clear in connection with your third paragraph, I never intended to question your right to express your opinion. In fact, that right is what I am trying to uphold. You disliked/detested the recent parody thread, and that is fine. We disagree about the matter, and that is fine too.
I respect and appreciate your civility, which helps keep things on track.
The fact (correct) that the Retirement Forum has no regular, assigned moderator at the present time does not mean that the Forum is not moderated. Many forums are "team moderated", which means that reported posts are still looked at by a moderator. I fully agree with your interpretation of the rules as stated in your first paragraph, second sentence. So, although no rule states that dissent is disallowed, some posters have either directly or indirectly argued that it should be, which is what I am disagreeing with.
ER.. I learned long ago that the pet people are a VERY touchy breed.
They take offense at almost anything short of gushing, saccharine agreement.
Say something less than pet-adoring and you are apt to be 'repped' just so you can be cussed-out in the accompanying comment!
OTOH, it's a pretty sneaky way to get reps, lol
I will probably hear from someone how I have strayed away from topic. But I thought of something that might make some posters feel they have a tolerable thread to read.
For those who find mediocrity in some of these posts, why not start your own thread? You could word it so that those of us who can't keep up with you would avoid opening it. You could talk about your intellect with no interference from those whose writings you dislike. You could talk about all the things that are important to you. There has to be an audience for it.
And I find no reason to apologize to this one person or to request a post be moved to accommodate their need. Closed minds are very painful.
NYgal2NC,
Yes, I saw that the thread you started about your cat got moved twice (first to the pet? forum then back to retirement forum). I certainly understand your feeling but I think whoever requested or moved the thread originally did not do so out of ill-will or being callous.
The person might not have read some of your posts where you shared personal issues. If this request came from a man, it could be just an example of 'Men are from Mars and women are from Venus". Men tend to see things from a logical point of view and women from an emotional base. I am a woman (both DNA base and personal inclination ;-)) but my training and occupation as an engineer/scientist tend to make me more analytical and logical than a typical woman. My first reaction in seeing your thread about the cat was that it should belong to the pet forum.
ER in specific had sort of 'complain' about the invasion of what he considers 'trivial' or 'banal' topic in this retirement forum. He did not ask to 'ban' these posts. He just expressed his 'amazement'. I think it is perfectly OK for people to express their opinions or reactions. I don't find his posts arrogant or humiliating. It's perfectly OK for men to state that they are bored to death with women's talk about shopping, cooking, fashion, babies, pets etc. We, women have more often than not telling the men that it's a colossal waste of time for them to spend hours watching sports, arguing with strangers on the net about politics or religions.
I have not been at cd forums for long but have read quite a few of posts from ER. I see him as a 'straight' talker, may not be or care to be 'tactful', but an honest person with no ill will or bad intentions.
As with all human interactions, at times, there are disagreement, some misunderstandings, over-interpretation etc. However, as I stated in a previous post, there are many good people here whom I would not mind spending sometimes with over a cup of tea, a bottle of beer or a glass of wine, you and ER included ;-)
Peace and harmony to all here at cd retirement fourm.
I've learned that the real preparation for retirement is less financial, than emotional. I've learned that it would be foolish for me to take early-retirement, however enticing the offer, until I find my life's companion - and barring that, that it's preferable to die at my desk.
I've learned that the real preparation for retirement is less financial, than emotional. I've learned that it would be foolish for me to take early-retirement, however enticing the offer, until I find my life's companion - and barring that, that it's preferable to die at my desk.
Yes, I saw that the thread you started about your cat got moved twice (first to the pet? forum then back to retirement forum). I certainly understand your feeling but I think whoever requested or moved the thread originally did not do so out of ill-will or being callous.
The person might not have read some of your posts where you shared personal issues. If this request came from a man, it could be just an example of 'Men are from Mars and women are from Venus". Men tend to see things from a logical point of view and women from an emotional base. I am a woman (both DNA base and personal inclination ;-)) but my training and occupation as an engineer/scientist tend to make me more analytical and logical than a typical woman. My first reaction in seeing your thread about the cat was that it should belong to the pet forum.
ER in specific had sort of 'complain' about the invasion of what he considers 'trivial' or 'banal' topic in this retirement forum. He did not ask to 'ban' these posts. He just expressed his 'amazement'. I think it is perfectly OK for people to express their opinions or reactions. I don't find his posts arrogant or humiliating. It's perfectly OK for men to state that they are bored to death with women's talk about shopping, cooking, fashion, babies, pets etc. We, women have more often than not telling the men that it's a colossal waste of time for them to spend hours watching sports, arguing with strangers on the net about politics or religions.
I have not been at cd forums for long but have read quite a few of posts from ER. I see him as a 'straight' talker, may not be or care to be 'tactful', but an honest person with no ill will or bad intentions.
As with all human interactions, at times, there are disagreement, some misunderstandings, over-interpretation etc. However, as I stated in a previous post, there are many good people here whom I would not mind spending sometimes with over a cup of tea, a bottle of beer or a glass of wine, you and ER included ;-)
Peace and harmony to all here at cd retirement fourm.
You won't like this but you are quite presumptuous to think you have to explain to me what he meant. Do you think I just fell off the turnip truck?? If you see nothing in his post to offend, good for you. But then again, I know two scientists (just happen to be male) who drive me nuts with their frigid "take" on certain matters.
Please do not feel free to explain life to me again. I doubt you have lived as much life as I have.
I've learned a ton from this forum - mostly that I have a lot more to learn about retirement (especially the financial aspects, such as post-retirement tax planning, and how best to draw down accounts)! I've also learned that retirement is best if it's something that can be planned for rather than "just happening," and that everyone's post-retirement needs are different. As a single person with no kids, I'm in a different situation entirely from someone who has a whole passel of grandkids they want to stay close to, and my choices and options need to reflect that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BellaDL
My first reaction in seeing your thread about the cat was that it should belong to the pet forum.
That was my reaction as well, because the thread was pet-centric rather than retirement/senior issues-centric. Now the current thread on the dearth of specifically pet-oriented 55+ communities (to give one example) or someone posting a question asking if certain pets are more appropriate for a retiree are threads I can see fitting into the Retirement forum, because their focus isn't specifically on the pet. There was nothing BAD about NYgal2NC's thread, it was just misplaced (in my opinion).
He did not ask to 'ban' these posts. He just expressed his 'amazement'. I think it is perfectly OK for people to express their opinions or reactions. I don't find his posts arrogant or humiliating. It's perfectly OK for men to state that they are bored to death with women's talk about shopping, cooking, fashion, babies, pets etc. We, women have more often than not telling the men that it's a colossal waste of time for them to spend hours watching sports, arguing with strangers on the net about politics or religions.
I don't think condescension has to necessarily be explained away by a gender thing. Many of us watch sports, many men cook and tend to their grandkids and love their fashion, and everyone shops, so the division of topics seems backward.
At any rate, anyone can tell right off if a thread is geared toward "male," "female," or both. Men who do not like women's trivia are entirely free to totally ignore these threads, and it would be nice not to have one or two of them jumping in expressly to express their "amazement." Remembering past posts of theirs, there's no shortage of trivia on their part, fwiw.
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lol
