Did you develop a relationship with your grandchildren very late in life? (grandparents, alcohol)
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I went back home this weekend and went to my paternal grandparents' house. We weren't particularly close growing up, as grandpa was consistently revolving between drinking in his garage, the county jail, and detox, and grandma contributed to all this, even though she didn't drink. We'd go over there at the holidays, but that was really it. My parents didn't think they were fit to be around me, so we were never close, until well into my adulthood.
In 2010, he had a massive heartattack, and combined with full blown DTs and alcohol detox, he thought he wasn't going to make it. He did make it and has been relatively healthy since then for a man of his age and an alcoholic of fifty years. While I'll never be as close to them as I am my other grandparents (grandmother is still living), I did develop a relationship with them I didn't expect much later in life than most.
Have you developed a relationship with grandchildren later in life than normal? What were the causes of this?
I am too old to have grandparents but I do have one grandson (only one) whom I have never really known except for short periods of visiting him in his home state. I send gifts but get no response.
I don't really think he cares if he gets to know me before I leave the earth. He has other grandparents there, with him, and they have smothered him with attention, so why would he need me? It's heart breaking but it is what it is. Perhaps, when he is in college in a few years, there might be a chance to get to know him, depending on what state he is in. Right now I don't have much chance since I am here (AZ) and he is there (IL).
It's not exactly what you asked.....but I will say as I, myself have gotten older, I realize that family relationships are more important to me.
When I was a kid I didn't appreciate my aunt and mom and cousins they way I do now.
After college, was when I started to realize they were older....and might not be around forever.
But on the other hand -- as a young adult...my work was important....I was too busy to go to family reunions, and weddings and funerals....they were inconveniences to MY schedule.
It was only after I was a little further in my career, and felt I could "relax' about that -- and I REALLY saw that they were aging -- that I wanted to let them know how much they meant to me. I visited and took them places, and treated them to various things....and made sure they knew I really cared about them, what they'd done for me, so I could be the person I am. IF they wanted or need something I made sure they got it. I din't want them to want for anything.
Now that mom is gone I feel a responsibility to keep all my siblings close to each other. And cousins too. Even our extended family is fairly close.
Any time I talk with friends or coworkers...I urge them -- IF AT ALL POSSIBLE -- to be tight with -- and spend time with -- their family. (or loved ones who ever they are)
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