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Old 03-15-2017, 02:05 PM
 
15,966 posts, read 7,027,888 times
Reputation: 8550

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Quote:
Originally Posted by meo92953 View Post
You have the room. You have the love. Just make conditions but don't turn her away.
Best response.
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Old 03-15-2017, 02:10 PM
 
Location: Georgia
4,577 posts, read 5,665,859 times
Reputation: 15978
I think it's fine to allow her to move back -- but with a time limit, say, 1 year. If she's got a decent job and isn't spending much money for housing, she should be able to set aside quite a bit of money for a downpayment. Charge her a nominal rent, even if you don't want to -- and give her the money back when she moves out in a year, to help with the home purchase. :-)
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Old 03-15-2017, 02:26 PM
 
Location: Central Ohio
10,834 posts, read 14,936,147 times
Reputation: 16587
Quote:
Originally Posted by dbsteel View Post
I agree with this. Some people are too rigid about their kids living with them. If she knows the conditions, she can still be a perfectly well adjusted- and out of debt- adult.


You get extra years with your kid. Sounds good to me.
I agree.

I would welcome her back with open arms but there would be a plan and goals to meet.

I would not charge rent or anything else. The only thing she has to pay for is her car, car insurance, clothes, makeup and that sort of thing. If she wants to kick in a little food (no money, just buy some food) fine but the big thing would be meeting a goal which is saving enough for a down payment on a condo.

If in her current job her take home pay is $600/week then in my mind it would be perfectly doable to save half that, $300/week, for a condo down payment. In two years we would expect to have $30,000 saved up which in most areas of the country would be enough for a decent condo. Of course it would not be if in San Francisco but that is a different story.

This condo thing would be a set goal for everyone to reach and I would want that for her.

Success is up to our children but we should pave the way a little.
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Old 03-15-2017, 03:00 PM
 
Location: Saint John, IN
11,582 posts, read 6,736,853 times
Reputation: 14786
She's 27, not 17! She needs to grow up and stop being coddled! She has an education and a job, she can save when she can for a condo. No one let me live with them just so I can save for a house!

With that said, if it was my daughter I would probably do as the above poster mentioned and let her move home, but to take some of her pay to save it for her so she doesn't spend it. I would also give her a timeframe of say a year!


Somehow I feel if she moves back though she won't leave!
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Old 03-15-2017, 03:01 PM
 
Location: Baltimore, MD
5,328 posts, read 6,019,984 times
Reputation: 10973
Quote:
Originally Posted by meo92953 View Post
You have the room. You have the love. Just make conditions but don't turn her away.
Tried to rep you but wasn't allowed. BEST REPLY EVER.
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Old 03-15-2017, 03:18 PM
 
9,329 posts, read 4,142,059 times
Reputation: 8224
If she has a MA, she should be able to lead a life where she pays for herself and still manages to save. Perhaps the problem is that she's never learned to control her spending.

What if you gave her a conditional "yes"...
-Allowing her a set limit of a few months, such as three months, or until June 1, giving her time to shop around for a cheap place
-Charging her enough for rent and utilities so that there is some bite to the deal
-Making it clear that you expect her to participate/help around the house in a big way

The idea is, you're giving her a little, but will make it unlikely she'll want to stay long-term.

Also, make it abundantly clear to her that an excellent way to save money, since she's in her 20s, is to have a roommate.
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Old 03-15-2017, 03:19 PM
 
318 posts, read 337,758 times
Reputation: 242
i will be putting together a nice savings plan for my child they finish college, I wish I could've stayed with my parents and saved money for a house
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Old 03-15-2017, 04:05 PM
 
Location: Here and now.
11,904 posts, read 5,587,643 times
Reputation: 12963
Quote:
Originally Posted by Clarallel View Post
If she has a MA, she should be able to lead a life where she pays for herself and still manages to save. Perhaps the problem is that she's never learned to control her spending.

What if you gave her a conditional "yes"...
-Allowing her a set limit of a few months, such as three months, or until June 1, giving her time to shop around for a cheap place
-Charging her enough for rent and utilities so that there is some bite to the deal
-Making it clear that you expect her to participate/help around the house in a big way

The idea is, you're giving her a little, but will make it unlikely she'll want to stay long-term.

Also, make it abundantly clear to her that an excellent way to save money, since she's in her 20s, is to have a roommate.
It's difficult to find good roommates, particularly at that age. Honestly, I think if I were in the OP's shoes, I would be relieved that my daughter wanted to live in my home, rather than out pursuing a party lifestyle.
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Old 03-15-2017, 04:20 PM
 
390 posts, read 379,847 times
Reputation: 1188
Quote:
Originally Posted by meo92953 View Post
You have the room. You have the love. Just make conditions but don't turn her away.
I'll keep reading since this is page 1 but totally agree. My daughter is 30 and having a hard time. She works FT and pay her own way and has since she was 18. She started having some financial issues due to a dumb mistake and I have practically begged her to come back home for a bit to straighten it out. Her lease is up in June and she is thinking about it.

Sounds like the OP's daughter has a good head on her shoulders. She does not sound like a complete slacker loser. Let her move in for a bit and get her head straight.
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Old 03-15-2017, 04:35 PM
 
Location: Earth
797 posts, read 752,469 times
Reputation: 798
She obtained her masters and has a good job. She worked hard,
be glad you have the genetics to be passed on correctly and not have her all coked out on the streets.
There are some spoiled brats out there then there are worthless specs of dirt then there are hardworkers who obtain a masters degree 8000 miles away and pay for school on their own.
Let the kid move in.
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