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I don't think she should move back in with Mommy and Daddy. I think no matter what she needs to live within her means. We have all had to sacrifice. She has already lived alone once and she can do it again. If you take her back in you are giving up your freedom that you have gotten used to by now,( of not having house guests.) My neighbor let her son move back in and he is still there 20 years later. Not for me....
It is smarter to invest her moneys to pay her loans and buy her own house/apartment sooner than waste her moneys for over priced rent to some stranger. Take some small rent from her and make a temporary rental contract with her. Then she knows she is expected to leave some day.
If she spent a year in London (across the ocean from you, I presume?) on her own, I wouldn't worry about her being able to survive when you're gone.
Certainly express your concerns to her but it sounds like you've done a good job of launching her.
The OP didn't say she was dying. She was conflicted about allowing her 27-year old daughter move back in at that age.
The parents are likely in their 50's and may not want to resume raising a child. I have seen this situation a lot lately, and unless there is a time limit on the arrangement, it could delay the healthy motivation of the daughter to survive on her own.
The OP seems to not have financial issues, but many parents have had their fragile retirement plans destroyed by having to continue supporting children well past their maturity date.
My husband and I are semi-retired and our daughter is 27 years old, the youngest of 3 (2 older brothers). She graduated from college, spent a year in London to finish her Master's degree and now has a great job. Currently, she's living with our middle son (an engineer) in a rented townhouse just 20 minutes away. They've always been very close, so this has been a good living arrangement for the past year, but when the lease is up, my son wants to purchase a place of his own. He is offering his sister a room when he gets his new place, but she's thinking about moving back home instead. She'd like to save money for a condoand start to pay down her student loan debt from her graduate work. We have a large home and there's plenty of room and we all get along, but we are feeling it's a step back as far as her independence is concerned. Her friends have all moved away and she's having a tough time meeting new people. She'd like to meet a nice guy, but her experience with online dating has been disappointing. Our fear is if she retreats back home, she'll start settling in. My husband and I would like to see our kids launched into the world before we depart (hopefully decades away!) and we don't know what's the best thing to do. Should we say yes to our daughter moving home again, or encourage her to get her own place?
She says she would like to pay off her student debt and buy a home and you call that a step back? Isn't it a bit munipulative to try to convince us someone who wants to PAY BACK their debts is taking a step back?
Then I continue reading where you guys have alot of room but you fear she will "settle in"
What in the world??
Then you say though it is DECADES away you will be passing away, you'd like to see her "launch". She hasn't even been living with you throughout College and you are already so sick of her the thought of living at home disgusts you that much?
This is such a strange post. If you want to see her "Launch" then allow her to do so successfully. You have plenty of room in your home, you all get along as you said, so PLEASE graciously allow her to pay off her debt, buy her home so she has a foundation TO LAUNCH. I hope she feels differently about her own children, this is so very sad. The girl has obviously accomplished alot.
So your daughter has a Master's Degree & a great job now so she wants to save money for a condo and start to pay down her student loan debt from her graduate work.
Seems reasonable enough & I'm assuming you won't be charging her rent or other expenses if the goal is to make her debt free as soon as possible and set her off in a good financial condition on her own in the future.
Sit down with her and ask how long does she think it will take her to get rid of her debt & save up for a condo. Tell her you want to see a timetable for her goals & then decide how long she plans to stay.
Your daughter seems serious & ambitious enough to achieve her goals and has been independent in the past so why the worry now ?
Best of luck !
If it was my daughter I would first make an agreement that has a goal of getting her to pay off debt and save in return for my offer of free rent.
We would sit down each month, set a goal for that month and review the results from the prior month. It's similar to hiring a new employee.
In the initial agreement, define the consequences for non-compliance. For example, if she just spends all her money and does not save, she'll be out the door in x months.
In this way, you can help her to become self sufficient. Otherwise, she could end up there indefinitely.
If she is having a hard time meeting new people (and I sympathize, because it IS hard for young professionals) She would be better off advertising for roommates to share rent. If she finds the place, then advertises, she would have some control over who moves in and how much she charges. If she's smart, she'll inflate their share of the rent to cover all utilities, so she'll be getting a bargain.
It's nice that you all get along, but I agree it would be a step back for her (socially). No one wants to date someone living at home.
If you really want to help her out, why not contribute to her student loan payments? If you are comfortable, that would be nice.
Wasn't she able to get a good start paying back the loans splitting rent with her brother? How many brothers would let little sis live with them? She can get a female (or male) roommate and similarly split rent while living independently. She's had her "fun" going to school in London, now she can buckle down and live realistically and get "out there". I think it would be a step backwards-give support in other ways.
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