Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
::sighs:: I give up.. I am commited to moving back into my son's house . I can not take the dead silence of living alone any longer.. Winter in Mn is pretty hard on many folks due to being homebound..
I have a dog and a cat and a aid but it flat out isn't enough
I outlived the husband, several friends also.. and right now I am pretty well stuck.. I don't know anyone beyond the black box on my desk. Some of it is my own fault as I don't go to church.. and I cant get with the senior programs offered for old ladies who cut cards .. ( my hair isn't blue and I am not thrilled with achs and pains small talk.) I want real people who have some brains left and aren't into drool and slobber.. My dog is somewhat of a help but with winter we will be homebound for long stretches of time .. TV makes me sleepy and yanno what.. going to bed at 7pm because I am bored is not a good idea ..
The big problem is my mind is still nimble, while my body is not .. and I need to excerise the mind on a better level than whats offered. YES I have hobbies and yes I enjoy them but whats the point if I cant get out and share them..
Nights are the worst for me because well.. dead silence .. I make a small supper and eat in silence alone .. well the dog is there but you know what I mean.. I do not have enough money to fund a ALF lifestyle.. I do ok with what I have but being stuck and pretty much homebound is getting to much for me .. heck I almost miss my cranky old husband and his complaining .. simply because he was there .. even if we weren't talking the pressance of another person in the house made it less lonely .. never thought I would want to live with my kids again.. but that's where I am at .. ..
Oh, Faworki, I am so sorry you're so lonely for human company - as you describe it, I would be too and would look at all options.
How does your son feel about you moving in? How do you think things will change for both of you? I guess I mean what are your expectations and his? I think the thing that blows most relationships of ANY sort, business or personal, is a difference in expectations.
Keep us posted on your thoughts and plans. And I am so glad that you have options!
I've been alone so long I can't imagine having to follow some one elses house rules etc. My noise all day is talk radio and NPR and just hearing people talking and getting info,
I don't have pets but live in apt bldg and see people and some of the neighbors here help me.
My daughter is in same town and one grand in college and the other one heading there. I rarely rarely see them and they are doing their own lives and that is how it should be. My daughter and I share a love but often we don't like each other. That does happen with ones in our lives.
Does your son live in warmer climate and do you see the positives of being in his house...do they outnumber any negatives. Could you just sell your house and move to a placer near your son -- a place that takes pets.
Just notice K.A. above, lives in wonderland..wonder where that is, ummm
Last edited by jaminhealth; 10-29-2017 at 03:08 PM..
KA.. I have explored the idea and my son is the one who suggested I move into his house .. he likes my dog ( he has her brother ) and we get along well.. his house has a mother in law set up sorta .. we each would have space but theres the common rooms and so yeh its very do able .. He knows I need care and he is willing to make sure that I get that care..( falling is a huge concern here ) My son is single and has been for many years so no dil problems to worry about .. ...my son works so the aid I get durning the days is gonna stay in place .. at night he is there and yanno he has a life but the silence of no one else wont be there .. it doesn't make sense to some of you but its the silence of life and the extreme boredom that's causing issues .. I am not eating right and I am not motivated to do more than sleep and play on the computer .. I need the interaction of a housemate.. At least with my son theres no drama .. theres folks who visit him and include me if I want to be included.. I am not anti social .. I just like to be able to say hi to folks and yanno have a beer if its offered and laugh and joke for a bit ..
Jamin, I have done what your suggesting .. I live in an apt now .. its cute and cozy but ..... my son lives in a smaller town than me but his house is bigger ..me Living in town, means he stops once a week to visit and he is dutiful like that .. so is my daughter with 4 kids who lives at the other end of my town in her own house( she is a single parent and I don't wanna be the live in wrangler of those 4 kids .. I love them but NOOO that's not a wise idea .. ) .. THATS a busy family.. to much for me tbh.. 4 teens is way to much.. but she also thinks my staying at my sons is a smart idea .. theres some one home at night incase I fall, which is a concern.. theres some one to share meals with at night ( and he cooks LOL)
My husband died in 2015 ans I loved living alone for the first year but as my abilities to see/ move /walk/ hearing get worse I am worried .. I looked into alf living but simply put .. money talks and proverty walks.. I don't want or need a nursing home yet so now what? I don't drive .. and that isolates me .. lots of careful thought is being done by me and the kids .. at this point tho .. living with the kid seems to be a decent option
Sounds like living with son is the way to go. No dil to deal with etc etc. I often miss not having a son but I didn't. But who knows how they all turn out anyway. My neighbor who is 90 and lives on her own for years and years, and declining but a good mind...has 3 adult sons all live in the East and here we are on the West Coast...she says she has been here too long and one son did mention moving to TN but she cannot.
Thanks Jam, it will be ok for few years till I need more care than an aid 3x a week can give .. that's when hard choices will happen .. but hopefully that's a ways down the road. ..
Thanks Jam, it will be ok for few years till I need more care than an aid 3x a week can give .. that's when hard choices will happen .. but hopefully that's a ways down the road. ..
One day at a time, one change at a time. We cannot predict the future...
OP, this is somewhat out of the blue, but you mention feeling like your mind is too idle and you have no outlet to share your hobbies and interests. Have you even thought about going back to school?
Pull up a chair and enjoy the group on C-D. I spend a lot of time here since I don't have much else to . Health is not an issue for me, but the SO is not doing well. We don't get out a lot.
Explore the box in the upper right side of the screen, "Active threads around to forum"
At the bottom of the page there will be "Similar Threads" although often they are old topics.
Explore. There are a lot of bright minds out here.
There are some obsessed bores, too, but they are easy to ignore. Any haters can be blocked.
Looks like you have been here a while, so keep in the flow.
Winter is why many go to Florida. That's a move too far for me, so NC seems a good spot. MAybe that's a future option.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
