Has anyone else lost their enthusiasm for holidays? (grandmother, trouble, family)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I see Christmas as the least enjoyable. Spend, spend, spend and buy people things they don't need nor appreciate because you are expected to do so and no other reason.
Christmas has become little more than a pain in the you know what. It's stressful and wasteful and what used to be a religious holiday has turned into a bonanza for retailers who will suck every dime possible out of everyone they can.
It's a retail holiday and little more now unless you are one who refuses to participate in that game. You know when retailers depend on Christmas in order to make a profit for the year, or to keep the U.S. economy positive, something has gone terribly wrong.
Christmas is a folk festival that was adopted by Christians, but it didn't start as a religious holiday, and most people don't celebrate it as one. All of the Christmas traditions, like greens, gifts, singing in the streets and drinking long predate Christianity. The Puritans outlawed Christmas because they were quite aware that it had nothing to do with Christianity.
As for the retail holiday, that is just advertising. Black Friday, anyone? Look how much money you can save by spending hundreds of dollars! Retired people already have enough "stuff," and don't want any more. Tell your family that if the giving impulse overwhelms them, donate a few hundred bucks to a charity and send you the receipt so you can use it as a tax deduction.
My family hasn't exchanged Christmas presents in over 30 years, though the kids get something. I gauge child gifts toward something that will help with their physical or mental development. One year I gave a nephew a sled. Another year I have him a collection of fungo bats that I found at Goodwill, and some baseballs and softballs. Another year he got a student microscope. The next year I gave him a wood burning set. When he turned 18 he got help with college expenses. I never expected a gift in return, and told him not to bother. Now that he's an adult, he's off the gift list.
Just last week we had our annual clam boil for the 4th of July, which is also my birthday (I turned 71). We had over 20 people, which is usual. I am elected to wear the chef's hat and tend the 3 big stockpots of potatoes, sweet potatoes, sausage, seaweed, corn on the cob, and fresh clams. The wife melts pounds and pounds of real butter to dip everything in, and traditional dessert is watermelon - everybody's too full to eat much more. This has meaning for me because we are a close-knit family and we all enjoy getting together for a feast. We held it in RI this year.
As for Christmas, I had to tell everyone to stop buying me gifts, as I have so many new clothes that I donated the overflow to my brother. But again, family saves the day. Last Christmas was the first time I had seen some of the grandkids all year. As they grow older, they hang out with their friends more. Christmas to me means family, lights, music, a big dinner (I handle the meat, she does the veggies), and just reflecting on the past year.
The day that a major holiday "means nothing" to me, is the day I might as well pack it in!
Those of us who are "empty nesters", not retired yet, but do not live in an area where we grew up - really enjoy these things!
We do not feel "old" at all. We are at that age where our children sometimes spend holidays away. Not Christmas or Thanksgiving, but some Easters and many smaller holidays.
We do enjoy going out to eat and drink. A craft brewery or a winery would be interesting, and we have done that. We have also traveled elsewhere, sometimes someplace cold, other times warm.
If NO ONE is coming home - has not happened yet, but we are prepared - cruises seem like a good option.
I have not "lost enthusiasm" for any holiday. However, when it comes to food oriented large holidays, and especially smaller holidays - I am in NO MOOD to cook a big meal for the two of us.
I mean WHY???
We went to our Country Club on July 4th. We met with many club friends, enjoyed the pool, the music and the delicious buffet.
I LOVE holidays. Spending them alone, at home?
Not so much.
We are retired. We enjoy the holidays. If our kids aren’t with us the holiday is often a little “lower” key. But we generally do something special with friends or just ourselves. A stay at a great Bed and Breakfast that also made a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner, a flight to NYC to see the Christmas windows, or a trip to a small town for boat parade and fireworks, are a few of the ways we have celebrated in the past.
I know what you mean. My husband and I would always pick a few angels to buy for gifts for, we've stopped. I couldn't believe the things they are asking for now. One of the video game consoles on one list was $299.00, we simply can't afford the type of things they want. Since we stopped that we started donating food to a church pantry that feeds hungry families. We also donate cash to Toys For Tot's. I always make it a point to do something for others at Christmas, to me that's what Christmas is all about.
It was always my mom who made the holidays special. I think to her it was part of raising kids. Plus most the big celebrations went back to the period where she was a SAHM. Back then people who didn't work outside the home had more time for decorating/baking etc.
I usually cook the meal because I enjoy it. But no decorating. I would enjoy the baking and candymaking too but everyone is always on a diet. That takes the fun out of it for me so I don't bother. I used to even make home made chocolates. Always hoped I would know a bunch of people who were trying to gain weight so I could make all that fun stuff. Steamed broccoli isn't fun to make at all!
I live alone now, but at Halloween and Christmas I like decorating the portico with special lighting and decorations. Inside the house are minimal decorations compared to years past. I now have a tiny tabletop Christmas tree.
Not to get maudlin, but nothing tops my early childhood memories of holidays. I'm content with that.
I think that's common. It is for me. My daughter's childhood Christmases bring some happy memories, but they're tempered by my ex-husband's determination to ruin every holiday. I could never wholly relax and just enjoy the day.
I know what you mean. My husband and I would always pick a few angels to buy for gifts for, we've stopped. I couldn't believe the things they are asking for now. One of the video game consoles on one list was $299.00, we simply can't afford the type of things they want. Since we stopped that we started donating food to a church pantry that feeds hungry families. We also donate cash to Toys For Tot's. I always make it a point to do something for others at Christmas, to me that's what Christmas is all about.
I've got a connection with a VNA (Visiting Nurse Association) group that asks for things for kids in families with a member who has a serious illness, often AIDS or cancer. It's never overpriced luxury items, and I usually pick from the list the families with babies and small children who need clothing and maybe a stuffed animal to hug.
Last year I found myself in a relationship for the first time in many years, and I asked him if we were exchanging gifts, because I didn't need anything and had no idea what to get him. We're oldish, both have homes and too many things and don't need more stuff. I suggested that if he wanted to go in with me on buying clothes and some toys for some babies on the VNA list, that could be our gift to each other, and he responded to that with enthusiasm. I think we a created a Christmas tradition for ourselves.
I am 64, and I always used to love the major holidays and cooking the special holiday meals, but I now view holidays as just more work and not worth the trouble. (Btw, even when it was just my husband and I before we had the kids and after they left home, I still enjoyed the holidays until just a year or two ago, so it is not a "sad because it's just us and there aren't any kids around" kind of thing.)
Anyone else feel that way?
The older I get the less likely I will travel to family functions. Now that my Dad and brother are dead and Mother succumbing to dementia, everything has broken up.
Us 4 siblings don't meet at Mom's house anymore for holiday meals.
What exactly are the men in your representative sample doing? Please tell. Holy smoke. Turn off Lifetime. I am looking all around for all these deadbeat, misogynistic, sexist men, and can only find them on cable. Please tell. A personal experience with 5 men you know does not define men.
The FIVE men I know?
Oh please. Try all the men I have ever known and all the husbands of other ladies I have ever known.
I did not call them "deadbeat, misogynistic, sexist" men, btw. Those were YOUR words. Also, I don't watch Lifetime, but thanks for caring.
Of the tasks I listed, they by and large fall to every women I've ever known. I know men who cook, but they still don't coordinate the holiday overall.
1) Putting up Christmas decorations
2) Buying - writing - mailing Christmas Cards
3) Calling all the relatives and guests to coordinate times and arrangements
4) Making sure the house is clean before everyone comes over
And we're not even talking about the extra work of taking care of children.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
We are similar
