If you were the first in your family to retire, how did this affect your siblings (moving, marriage)
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Personally I don't see why when one of you retires would affect your siblings at all. I was a stay at home mom. My older sister was too for many years but finally she got a job teaching special needs students at a college, she retired a few years ago. Her husband retired finally at about 72.
My husband is the oldest in his family and he retired in 2015 at age 66. His sister retired when her husband died she is two years younger than my husband, and his younger brother who is ten years younger is still working. When any of these people retired it had no influence on when anyone else did.
My older brothers were both drafted into the US Army, and they both got out as soon as they could. I enlisted in the US Navy, and eventually stayed on Active Duty for 20-years. When I got my pension I was the first to retire.
It really upset my mother for some reason. She thought of me as her baby. The idea of me being retired hit her hard.
My sister died a year later, from a stroke. Two years after that my oldest brother died from cancer. Which left my one remaining brother as the only sibling left, and he went on pension soon after that.
My job got outsourced oversea in mid 2016, I got a nice package from the company 1.5x my pay.
Was thinking of going back to work as a contractor/consultant somewhere. But so far have not done it. I might do some hourly job if I can find something that interests me enough to make around $10/hr.
I started my pension 7/18, with that and my investments I really don't need to work.
My older sister her job has changed, and is just counting the days till she gets to 62 when she can take early retirement.
7 siblings.
Three retired and we all celebrated! The one brother though who is set for life anyways...just can't part with his career. He will do 'consulting' even when he does officially retire. He technically has done all his traveling and further education degrees as he grew in his career. I doubt retiring would appeal to him. He and his wife have no kids so they've pretty much lived well and played .
There is no jealousy amongst us siblings. We've encouraged not discouraged.
This topic never entered my mind and don't think it did for my bro or sis. We all have our own lives and made all our own decisions.
I find this thread ridiculous. Never crossed my mine to worry about how it might affect siblings...never gave it a thought....oh wait...one sib (male) got divorced , threw in the towel on working ....and “ retired” on the dole. ( faux disability..imho.). Does this count?
I find this thread ridiculous. Never crossed my mine to worry about how it might affect siblings...never gave it a thought....oh wait...one sib (male) got divorced , threw in the towel on working ....and “ retired†on the dole. ( faux disability..imho.). Does this count?
It's not ridiculous. I very much was influenced by my siblings and when they retired. My dad too.
It has never affected them or me - but they are often the standard to which I aspire.
Why would what your siblings do affect when you undergo something as life changing as retirement? Wouldn't what your spouse thinks be about a billion times more important than what a sibling thinks? Maybe if you are not married, then there might be an influence, I guess maybe. Maybe it influences what you have to bring to holiday gatherings if your siblings think because you are retired you have all the time in the world to organize Thanksgiving dinner, or something of the sort. To have a sibling influence when you retire, when you are married, seems to me to be weird, and I would be extremely unappreciative if my spouse's sibling had any influence at all on when we made our decision to retire.
Wouldn't know. Have one younger sister. Before I retired I lived for 12 years in MD while sister was in NY. When I retired, I moved even further from NY. I wouldn't listen to what she (or anyone else) might say to me, anyway and she apparently knows this because she never offered an opinion on how I've lived my life. I've done pretty well for myself while her decisions about her own life haven't been that good.
Why would what your siblings do affect when you undergo something as life changing as retirement? Wouldn't what your spouse thinks be about a billion times more important than what a sibling thinks? Maybe if you are not married, then there might be an influence, I guess maybe. Maybe it influences what you have to bring to holiday gatherings if your siblings think because you are retired you have all the time in the world to organize Thanksgiving dinner, or something of the sort. To have a sibling influence when you retire, when you are married, seems to me to be weird, and I would be extremely unappreciative if my spouse's sibling had any influence at all on when we made our decision to retire.
In my dysfunctional family only 2 of 6 siblings married and 1 of the 2 was divorced. My older siblings were more like parents than our actual parents so we are close and help each other financially when needed, e.g., helped support a younger brother got cancer and could not work. We were raised in a very conservative part of the country and I, a female, rebelled and always tried to compete with my brothers academically and career wise. It was a healthy good natured competetion and my brothers are proud of my accomplishments but my brother and I had a little thing going to see who could finish college first or retire first. Another aspect of retirement is that we each live 500-800 miles apart and after retirement we would be able to visit each other more or take some trips together.
My older brother is a workaholic who works long hours and makes a good salary but his wife has this Puritan work ethic that you should never retire and work until you drop dead. The rest of us, including his friends, would like to see him retire and take it easy. We worry about his health- heart disease and strokes run in my family. As I stated previously, I think my retirement planning and actual retirement motivated him some to take that step. He will actually continue part-time consulting and has lots of hobbies and does all his own home and car repairs. His wife continues to work - she makes very little money but likes her jobs. I don't think she is resentful - it was his decision to make. She is also very close to her siblings, 8 siblings total, and they have helped her siblings when in need - one sister lives next door. And lots of vacations to see siblings and family reunions with siblings and uncles and aunts. Not everyone distances themselves from their siblings when they marry.
In my family of four siblings, I'm oldest. However just like in the OP's case there THIRD sibling retired first.
Being able to retire depends on whether a person can afford to retire. And IMO frankly that depends on how a person (couple) has prepared, planned, saved and invested for that time.
-- In my family, I the oldest, went into a career that didn't pay much until I was in my mid 30s. Then I traveled and bought things and saved a little, but not much. At 36 I started maxing out a 401K, until 43, then I bought a house and cut back on the 401k. Then last year at 57, I took a small severance package, sold the house, and now make 1/3 off what I did. I'm mortgage free, in our childhood home. So while I have what some might consider to be decent savings, I don't think I have enough to retire, shy of Medicare.
-- The second oldest, never worked any one place that had a pension long term, and may have some money in a 401k But it's likely minimal. I don't talk intimately with him about his finances but I can't imagine he'll ever have enough to completely retire.
-- The third was in the military for 2 years, then did 29 years with the Postal Service. HE at 55 is the FIRST of us to retire.
-- The fourth at 54 this year -- has a husband who did 29 years in the military. Retired and is now a manager at a major discount retailer. So my sister works, but I'm sure they could make it OK if she didn't. But with her full time income, they really have no money worries. She will have no pension and I don't think she's even putting into a 401k. I guess she'll "retire" when she doesn't feel like working. But she likes "having her own money." BIL has told her she can't quit if she wants to. She doesn't want to.
They all got married and had kids. I didn't. So they spent money on raising kids, private schools in a couple of cases. And I spent my money on travel and lifestyle conveniences (eating out, clothing, the best furniture, home remodeling, decor, etc).
Realistically, health issues aside, I think the three NON-retirees are looking at waiting at least until we can get Medicare. I know that's all I'm waiting for.
Do I wish I'd gotten a government job 30 years ago so I could be retired by now? No. Because I've loved my life and my experiences -- including a career some would envy and even say is glamorous. Would it be nice to be retired now at 58. Sure. But I'm not. And I do have a decent cushion (and a pension coming at 65) -- so I'll just have to work until then.
(And when you're 20-25 -- you just don't want to settle for a job you think you won't like just because it's "safe" That IS the time to go for your dream career.)
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