Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I'm really curious about the empty nesting experience. Some people seem to struggle and some people seem to love it.
It's such a huge transition and I'm wondering what the challenges are?
I suppose you can still be working and have an empty nest. Our daughter moved to Japan when I was still working. Then she moved back. Then she moved out again. She is 35 now and living on her own, but she still needs a lot of support. We are technically 'empty nesters". But in some ways, not. I keep hoping someday she will be totally independent. She has a boy friend, but he lives in New York, she lives in Eugene, Oregon. They do Skype every day.
We were a little concerned about this when our youngest went away to college. After almost a decade of teenagers and being constantly busy with them I wondered how my wife would take the sudden silence.
After helping my youngest move into her dorm, we started the hour drive back home. I asked my wife if an empty nest would take awhile to get used to. She contemplated the question for a couple of miles, smiled and said: "Yeah, but I'm over it now. Pull into that liquor store over there... we need something to take into the hot tub tonight!"
For us it was very weird at first. Not like 'oh we miss them so much' weird, although we did miss them. It was just the feel around the house, going from full and busy with their business to empty spaces and our own day-to-day concerns. A friend a few years ahead of me in that process said, 'you get used to it after awhile, it's kind of like going back to when you were married but before you had kids'. For us, at least, that has proved true. We did get used to it and it is a little like back before we had kids. It's fun. We're enjoying it. Also just love it when they're back for a visit. Everything is good. They're doing well (now at 29 and 27 yrs old) in their own lives, we're doing well in ours. Looking forward to retiring soon and moving closer to them so we see them a bit more often.
We didn’t move to our current until my youngest daughter is in her senior year in high school. Why? In the past she didn’t want to move, she liked the location of the previous house. So by her senior year, we knew she was going to college, we made the house buying decision without her input. Both of my kids rarely lived at home after going to college except for a very brief period like a month.
So initially I did miss my kids, it was hard, but senior year made it a lot easier, they were both a pain in you know what. Typical behavior of soiling the nest before they leave.
So we technically have an empty nest for 6-7 years now. We like our empty nest, just the two of us, back to when we started almost 30 years ago. But I do still have a lump in my throat when I drive by her old high school, middle school, or elementary school. I don’t know why and I’m not the emotional person, that’s my husband, he’s the sensitive sort. Lol
Last edited by NewbieHere; 03-03-2019 at 10:25 AM..
My son lived at home only a short while after college, and was quite independent and busy in high school. So the natural breaking away was gradual. Our lives didn’t revolve around him.
We are a close family and enjoy him immensely-he has been successfully out of the nest for close to 12 years and we have been retired for five.
It is sad when couples have nothing but their kids to keep them together. You need to remember why you married in the first place. You need to allow your kids live their own lives.
I found it to be very hard when our oldest left for college. After his first semester Iwas over the daily missing him terribly feelings. It prepared me for the second son leaving. They both relocated far away after graduating and we’re fortunate to be able to visit when we want. Both husband and I moved away for college and lived several states away from our families so it felt normal to us.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
