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I personally never spoke to my parents about getting older and the acceptance of their roles as they got older. The first grandchild came to them when my mom was 63; my father was 56. That was 1983.
Then, there was 12 grandchildren by 1990 and their home was the gathering place, the day/night care drop in anytime place. They were absolutely wonderful parents and grandparents and loved every second of it.
Comparing myself to my own mother at this point - even though she was a college graduate and even had an MBA, all that ended when she got married in her 30's which was late for her time. She gave all that up to get married and have her children. She was a great mom. Never complained about anything. She seemed to accept things easier than I do.
My husband and I have 2 children. One will never have children. The second one has his first serious girlfriend - I think he would like children; not sure if she would so we will see.
I've always led a busy life - I worked from an early age and still work but I know someday that will not exist.
There were times in my life I could not relate to an older person's life and now I'm there. My husband and I are active or at least want to be.
We live in an all age community and have always looked forward to things happening. My husband may adapt easier than me; I think I'm going to be the problem but I know life goes on and people adapt.
There were times in my parents' life I will never reach financially and then on the other end, some lows financially that I don't want to be there. All in there, they loved each other, stayed true to faith, family and love for each other and others and in the end, it ended fine. Four children, 12 grandchildren - some of the grandchildren have even had children and named them after their grandparents. Quite an honor. They were loved.
Other than work, my life seems so quiet compared to theirs even at this age. My mother had tons of friends and yes, she did work hard on those relationships. She was also a friend.
Due to my vision difficulty at this point in my life, the friend part is much harder to do. I don't drive anymore and it's just a burden to people.
My husband was an only child; very used to being alone. I am not. I like to be around people.
My parents were both social people.
My dad remarried after mom died and lived in Leasure World at my age 81. There wasn't a lot to do and I think he mostly sat where I am always busy even though slow.
I never really compare myself to my parents at my age. I didn't want the same life my parents had, so it never occurs to me to compare.
I though their lives were too busy and work filled. I wanted more free time. I got it, at the price of not achieving the standard American lifestyle (single family house with a yard), But I never wanted that, anyway.
At this point, at age 53, I'll be amazed if I make it through the rest of my life without some major global/financial calamity (or both).
Interesting topic, OP. I think about this now and again, when childhood memories pop up and I figure out how old my parents were at the time, and comparing my situations to theirs, based on age alone.
One thing that's always struck me is how much *older* they look in photos. I have an old family photo from 1985 where my parents would have been early 40s, and honestly they have styles and apparel that make them look more like 60ish. The photo matches my memory of them around this time - serious, formal, mature, authoritative. It's like they embraced "adulting" and did everything they could to play the part, while today a lot of people try to avoid it.
Parents moved in 1995 from CA, (lived 4 places) to NC. Dad is still here at 95. They were 64 and 65.
I moved from CA to OR in 1992, then to NC in 1999. Not a lot of difference, except I lived, rented more places than they did from 70's till now. Like 15 places, because I had a big dog and other circumstances, single, blah blah. I was 47 when I moved to NC, I've lived in this house 16 years, the most in any house or place. they were much more stable than I. As far as their age, they looked young and my Dad had always worked outside and a machinist and became a custom knife maker, still now since 1983.
This is a house my Dad had built a year after my Mom died in 2007, so I live on 1 acre and he on 9 acres. I think he wanted me closer to him although he has done as much for me as I have done for him. I'm 71 now and Dad 95 and he can out work me outside any day. Not like he use to but he still mows and so do I and he prunes and I do a little. He still makes knives and custom boxes and I don't really have a hobby after I retired. But I stay busy.
I live a completely different lifestyle. My mother had a nervous breakdown because of my sister and was never the same. My father I have no clue as I have had zero contact for 53 years.
I am 75 years old, so I can't compare myself to my father, who died of a heart attack at 73. If I live another 7 years, I will have outlived my mother, who nearly made it to 82 before she, too, died of a heart attack after years of ill health. Neither of my parents cared at all about diet or exercise. My mother was a heavy smoker. AlthoughI am a former smoker (I quit at 33), I am quite healthy for my age with none of my parent's issues.
With respect to my father, I'm in a similar position as a few who have already posted, in that he died young, at 58, while I've managed to make it to where I'll turn 72, should I last another 8 weeks. My mother, sadly, turned into a somewhat grumpy, older woman, after my father died. Her whole life was wrapped up around him, and after he was gone, she lost a lot of her enthusiasm for life. She, however, lasted until dementia caught up with her, at the age of 95.
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